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Out of the Blue

Over all these years I thought I had already experienced ever form of spam and scam email created. This morning I got a new one, however, when I received a surprise invitation from the Illumnati! They say: "Hello, Do you wish to be famous, wealthy and powerful? Be part of this elite organization called Illuminati filled with world leaders, business authorities, innovators, artists, and other influential members of this apply for membership contact us now and Join Our Global Unity. This is a limited offer!!" At first I was surprised that the Illumnati would even be aware of me, but then I realized, hey, they're the Illumnati! They know everything! So there, now I'm going to finally be in on the big picture of how the globe actually operates. I'm guessing I'll be sworn to secrecy, so apologies in advance for not filling you in!

Illuminated Links: Thanks Ant and Neutronbeam.
Links: Zoo will name a rat or roach after your ex and feed it to a snake on Valentine.
The Story of Huey Lewis Is Not a Tragedy. Thanks Cutter.
Preparing For The End Of The World, On A Budget.
Science: Michael Pollan Explains Caffeine Cravings (And Why You Don't Have To Quit).
Dog Training Methods Affect Attachment to the Owner. Thanks Max.
Doing this many push-ups reduces heart disease risk by 96%. This many being 40.
Media: How one dog won Westminster three times.
Wrestler dives off shopping mall balcony. Admit it, you've thought about it too.
Encounter with Koala. They get all the girls.