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I'm working on cultivating a friendship with the ducks that waddle past my office. I previously tried to feed them some cut-up grapes, but despite what Google says about them liking these, they did not seem to (they'd pick them up and spit them out). Bread is the obvious choice, but is said to be bad for them, so that's out. Based on the advice of a neighbor, yesterday I tried offering oatmeal, something else that is said to be good duck food. This worked like a charm, and a pair of female ducks happily pecked up all of it I tossed on the grass for them. Today I tried to befriend a pair of males, but they were far less impressed. I think they would probably like the oatmeal well enough, but they seemed much more suspicious of my motives, so I just let them be. So I'm batting .500 with the oatmeal so far. The number one suggestion for what to feed them is corn, so I will pick some up and see how I do with that.

Corny Links: Thanks Ant.
Stories: People are still drinking bleach—and vomiting and pooping their guts out. Darwin juice. Thanks RedEye9.
Kremlin lauds 'heroes' who landed plane in cornfield after gull strike.
Science: What Makes a Red Sky at Night (and at Morning). XKCD! Thanks j.c.f.
Media: Gamers Vs. Mario Maker Levels Designed By Kids.
People who do awkward animal voices in public. That would be me.
Dog Statues.
Temper tantrum. U mad bro?

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