Israel Evans
Monolith | Company | May 10, 1999, 18:35:38 (ET) |

*** Monolith Production's Finger Server

User name: israel
Plan modified: Mon May 10 13:10:19 1999


Well, It’s a beautiful morning this fine Monday only five days before my wedding. I have to tell you, I am definitely not nervous, nope not at all. Not one bit do I feel my heart beating just a tad faster than normal. Nor do I feel any sort of dizzying exhilaration at the prospect of vowing to spend the rest of my life with this one Magnificent being who has just by some strange chance caught my eye and feasted upon my Heart.
That brings to mind an interesting suggestion for a wedding ceremony… It might be rather symbolic if the bride and groom were to cut a hearty chunk out of their flesh, cook it up and swallow it down whole… That way both parties would really be a part of the other and, in a sense would become the nutrients which would go towards repairing the ‘wedding wound.’….

Disgusting? Probably…

Oh well.

Wish me luck!


There are those that conspire against me and my illusions. I will not allow them to clarify the situation. One's very mind relies on the fact the one can fool One's self into believing anything imaginable. If this blessed ability were to be flushed out of the human system, all mediocrity would ooze forth and envelope the world with tedium. Have you ever seen a vat of bubbling tedium up close? It’s so utterly horrible that it cannot be imagined. The mere scent of it is enough to drive someone into the fields of micro-management and nose hair plucking. In these fields many breeds of near human cattle graze upon bitter foliage. I was so scarred by my first encounter with a vat of tedium that all I could do for the following year was to watch reruns of Thirty Something and sit on my couch drooling over tax forms. The only thing that saved me was the random emails that my feline filching friend DFB had scattered throughout the bureaucraticallisticisms of my pulpy pile of legalspeak hogswallow. He helped find my happy place, which by the way is on the way to Neverland but instead of turning left at the second light you turn right and follow the wormhole until you get to the furry lump. Say the word owldrahbraghdiim five times fast backwards and you will be instantly transported to the greatest housing development on the East Side of Dream. Once there ask for Manfred. She’ll take care of you. Here is where the greatest revolution against the Dreaded Doldrums, the Wooden Aardvarks, their cousins the Woolen Cardsharques and their evil agents of great fishiness, the vile Fishers of Men Plans and sends forth it's own agents to topple the Tower of Tedium and the evil empire which grows ever stronger in it's shadow.
So beware, all of you, the unfriendly eaters of dreams and their nefarious coterie of colostomy crooks.

Viva la revolution!


It's been years since last we've talked. Sit down. Have a drink. Warm your self by the fires emanating from my friend , The Amazing Edward, The Spontaeously Combustible Weasel. He's from the south side of Seattle and let me tell you what! ...What...

Things here are dandy in the land of Sanity. I spend my nights and those brilliant periods in between creating all sorts of lovely magics and sundry feats of pixel prestidigitation. To keep me company in my tower of arcane experimentation I have filled every corner with very talkative and erudite scholars of the plant world. They are all kings among their species and have bestowed upon me many great honours and interesting tales of their chloropyhlic friends. They have even suggested a variety of uses for the magics I create. I am ever so thankfull for their oxygen giving presence. Maybe I shall have a party to thank them... Maybe I'll have that party right this minute! WHoooooooooo HAAAAAAAAAAAA PARRRTTY!

WHew... Party's over. Man, what a blast, That ivy sure does know how to boogie. I think I'll have a scar from that head butt the lichen gave me, and boy where ever did the cinnamon fern learn to limbo like that? I think I'll go lie down now.

NOLF Team 2003/01/25
Jason Hall 2002/06/25
AvP2 Team 2002/04/05
Andy Mattingly 2002/02/27
Karen Burger 2002/02/27
John Jack 2002/02/27
Brian Goble 2001/05/04
Bill Vandervoort 2001/05/04
Jeremy Blackman 2000/08/04
Mike Dussault 2000/01/29
Kevin Lambert 1999/08/23
Israel Evans 1999/05/10
Paul Renault 1999/03/24
Aaron St. John 1999/03/10
Spencer Maiers 1999/03/05
Rick Winter 1999/02/18
Benny Kee 1999/02/18
Jay Wilson 1999/02/10
Brian Long 1999/01/29
Paul Butterfield 1999/01/29
Kevin Kilstrom 1999/01/29
Joel Reiff 1999/01/26
Craig Hubbard 1999/01/10
Scott Schlegel 1999/01/05
Kevin Stephens 1999/01/04
Peter Arisman 1998/11/12
Nick Newhard 1998/11/12
Toby Gladwell 1998/11/12
Nathan Hendrickson 1998/11/12
Matthew Allen 1998/11/12
Matt Saettler 1998/11/12
Greg Kettell 1998/11/12
Eric Kohler 1998/11/12
Brian Waite 1998/11/12
Brennon Reid 1998/11/12
Brad Pendleton 1998/11/12
Ben Coleman 1998/11/12

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