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*** MumboJumbo's Finger Server
User name: scampbell
Plan modified: Mon Sep 10 11:18:56 2001
= = = = = SCOTT'S FUN INFORMATION FINGER = = = = =
What is Scott's Fun Information Finger?
The thing you're reading, stupid!
What is in Scott's Fun Information Finger?
Lots of useless stuff that makes me giggle.
Why should I care about Scott's Fun Information Finger?
Hell if I know. Go read someone else's finger!
LYRICAL ENJOYMENT
Connacht
(with apologies to Isaac Hayes)
Who's the bald hero man
that's a general to Llancarfan?
(Connacht!)
You're damn right
Who is the man
that would chop the head of Myrkridian?
(Connacht!)
Can you dig it?
Who's the 'zerk that will not bow
when he's threatened by a Trow
(Connacht!)
Right on
You see this Connacht is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Connacht
(Then we can dig it)
He's a big barbarian
and all he wears about him is his wolf pelts!
(Conn-acht)
SCIENCE CORNER
How to Discover COld Fusion in TEN Easy Steps!
1) Wake up from a good night sleep
2) Get Dressed
3) Make yourself some coffee (Very important!)
4) Read the Paper
5) Think about how to make money from discovering cold fusion
6) Eat some breakfast
6) Enter your secret laboratory
7) Make sure you have plenty of light
8) Prepare your work area
9) Discover Cold Fusion
10) Become fabulously wealthy
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"Guns don't kill people. Kenetic energy transference kills people."
STARTLING FACT!
Alien life has yet to be discovered! This is despite many statements to the contrary by screenwriters, scientologists, and X-Files fanatics.
This public service message was provided by Zorfblab from stellar cluster X31
WORD OF THE DAY:
Gib.let (jib'lit) n. [ME gibelet]
1. Any various editable parts of a foul, as the heart neck or gizzard, that are cooked separately or are used in making gravy.
2. Any chunk of bloody body tissue resulting from a frag; esp. vital organs or bone fragments emanating from a exploding body. Made popular from comments in the source code of DOOM.
[See also gib, frag, telefrag, dirt-nap, hanging with Elvis, bullet kissing, sudden deceleration trauma, buckshot enema]
USELESS FACT OF THE DAY:
A group of goldfish is collectively called a "troubling".
I don't know why this is, but have you ever seen a tank full of goldfish? Ever notice how they stare back at you? As if they are daring you to start something? Like they're saying, "You and me, punk! Lets go!"
Maybe it's just me.
RANT OF THE DAY:
Does anybody actually read manuals? I believe they are only good for two things: weighing down the box so the buyer thinks they are getting more for their money, and for the customer support numbers to tell them where to get the inevitable game patch.
Do I sound bitter?
That's only because I'm writing our manual now.
I promise to make it REALLY thick and have lots of ways to contact customer support.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Legos are cool. (And they retain their shape when placed in the microwave)
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