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*** Ritual Entertainment's Finger Server
User name: janitorbob
Plan modified: Fri Nov 30 14:37:17 2001
Position: Sicko, but my job is Maintance Supreme Holy Dictator
Yer about to read the wisdom of the stud-god named: Janitor Bob.
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* NOTE: Any views expressed here do not reflect the official opinion
* of Ritual Entertainment. I am a GOD and am WAY above any of the other
* weirdos that work here. I do not work for a hunting & fishing Show.
* armpit hair will not be tolerated you dirty bastard also if you've gots
* a rat, i gots a quik and easy meel that serves four to nine!
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Lte Novmbr erly Dec.
Did ya'll have a good Thanksgiving? I sure as hell did, went down (on my sis but thats a different story) to the family in Kentayucky.
My ma and pa were servin up some of mean old gizzard pie with a big fatass stuffed squirrel. Ya evr eat squirrel?
Kinda tastes like chcken. My sis was there too and damn we had a good time together. See my sis is hot piece of ass and since I want to get laid every chance I get, we had a tumble in the barn after the big feast. What is it about good sex that makes a man want to take a dump?
well i'm back now and Ritual's still a WONDERFUL place to work. (Damn Rob stop sticking that big ass dildo of yours in my ass.)
I am still god's gift to artistry and I still have a girl under my desk. It's great to be king.
BOB
Sometime in Dec, 2000 I think
A new year has come and gone... more then one I guess.
I've been locked in the closet for the last year and a half. them damned
perverted ritualits sodamized my ass and kept me for a gimp sex slave...
You all seen Pulp Fiction right? I won't call for it, I'm taking action.
I'm suing for sexual haressment! Think I'll get more money if I tell the
judge what they did with the broom handle?
june 17 98 - who the ho
everybody is talking about duke nukum using the unreal engine. no one is
talking about how tight my ass is from hours of mop grindin', chick
ridin'... kentucky fried chickin greasen fun. why is that?
saw on ritualistic (btw, lithium needs to take gingsing) that ritual wants
to hire an artist. he forgot to mention that you've got to be a (hot) chick
and be able to enjoy long rides in the country side bareback. i of course
could be an artist but for sum reason the guys didnt like my artwork so
what if it doesnt pass health standards because it uses fluids and stuff
the other nihte i beat the hell out of that wussy boy paul steed in the
parking lot outside ritual. just thought id mention that. i dont no why
he was here probaly to try to play sin or maybe see how many chicks are
under my desk this week
********QUOTE OF THE WEEK *****
every once in a whiel ie take a quote i saw and paste it in but
i clarify it a little to make it easier to understand
from todd h (idee software guys plan)
http://finger.planetquake.com/plan.asp?userid=toddh&id=8321
====
It looks like [Jimmy's house of whores] is going to
outdo [ho chi mins escort service] in the bargain department.
[Jimmy's house of whores] is running a promotion this week
on [two diseas free gauranteed-not-to-bite-it-so-hard
-you-end-up-unable-to-pee whores] for $14.99. Those of
you who tried to get a [whore] last week at [ho chi mins escort service]
but couldn't (I got an email from [raven softwares' Robert Love] saying
[ho chi mins escort service] had an unexpected run after someone
[gave away viagra for free and] put up [a picture of john romero
licking cattle] on the 'Net :) are in luck.
====
i am your god and i am the best game dvelper ever suck me down
oh ya... think i gave my special jbob texas oil drilling to every
clase of '98 homecuming queen in texas.if i missed you emai me and
ill be over like jed clampet (i did elly mae in the cement pond
by the way)
that is all
june 8 98 - brian hook fills his pants
been watching the freaks here at ritual work on sin. ive been up a long
time cleaning up after them and doing whorizontal line dancing with some
of the chicks at the cuntree music bar downstairs andi think i just
thought that mark docthermann looks like a fish. well not like a fish
but like a spotted owl i think.
well sin. it is a awesome game even tho it doesnt have any lubercants. i
looooveeeee shooting the guys and watching the blood and not having to
worry about cleaning itup its like a strip club in an ice cream
truck ifyou know what boaat im sailing
what is with id software they make some games and think they are good
well i worked there and let em tell you that they have an ugly monster
building and i am a better programmer than brian hook. ya i have
programmed many a program to keep track of all the women i have
knocked the mop with. i know many languages like windows and
excel and word and vb (that is virtual basic for you losers)
ya i am not only a drop dead sexy fantasy for all the women of the world
but i can programm like aprogrmmaning fool. i know my metric system
and exe file, if you can dig that
i had to kick that lana croft chick i picked up at e3 out of my
apartement today. she begged and cried for one more clean out but
i am too sexy for my own good i guess
what im listening too
====================
- the moaning and screaming of many a class of '98 gruadate
(over 721 served as of five minutes ago)
- albanian accordian corps: bring the ruckus
most badass polka band around they take no shit and eat animals on stage
(chicken)
that is all i am your god
***next***: apple pie and how blue and i tag teamed durning his mtv days (ya
remember joan rivers bluester...ya man bobby is the quicker picker upper),
hog fat is educational, my sexual education prophosal, driving minnie
driver, 191 uses for twist ties & wd-40 and why john romero likes cake
june 1 98 - i'm back like last nights enchilladias
ya you heard me
janitor bob is back. think i went in to porno? ya, i got in to a lot of
stuff (greasy perv) but see i dont need porno 'cause im a walking
artificial incementation guy. see i got a edukation while i was making
cheap dirty porn with the suvinving cast memebers of The Jeffersons
but i could not excape my true love
even cleaning up the massive amounts of love liquids didnt do it for me
get my electric vacum a'suckin' and what not. got to come back and clean
up for the greasiest bunch of two bit con men in the world
hipnotic
goddamm its ritual now. whatever
anyway they had a rat attack and a fire and transvetite country music singer
while i was gone so they asked me to come back. after i got thru with pat,
i decided to stick around to clean and stuff. i got my old mop back, Ernest
back and we go together like lamama lamma llmama Mr. clean carpet cleaner
ok i am sick of typing and i think its time for jim dozes dialy weddgie so here
is a peom i wrote inspierred by my first nite back at the ritual office
- late nite at the office
- man comes into the office and removes his pants
- man takes a dump on the floor
- no more late nights in the office
also i see my old friend germany mcgee dont work for the company i helped founded
(idee) anymore. i saw him greasing up disco dancers in a small suberb outside
larsoda and selling himself for bic pens
rituals new site kicks my ass like the e3 booth babes at the annual "big bob's
big breasted booth babe bonnanza" (BBBBBBB) that was held once again this year in
my ho-tel (HAR!) room. if thoz easter island heads dont give you the horn i dont know
what will
thats is all for now. u may mail me at janitorbob@ritual.com
i am your god
and redwood is the cheapest date youll ever find
***next***: why they call him onethumb and rebel boat rocker? i thought you said
chick with big knockers (HAR! HAR!) also i did that titanic chick in a tug
boat 90 times, why sin squeezes my balls like a sponge and how to get all the free
handiwipes u want
read my byo at http://www.ritual.com/inside_ritual/team_mopfo.html
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