So for anyone interested, the story is continuing.... For those of you not interested in my DSL adventures, stop reading HERE <<---

Not only do I still not have service, but last Friday, my phone line was cut off completely until Monday. I can only assume they installed some sort of test loop and forgot about it or something. Yay for miscommunication!

It turns out that they don't have a clue what's wrong and they still can't get a signal. But of course, the only reason that I know any of this is because I have been continually calling them for updates. And on top of this, I am starting to get billed.

Someone is scheduled to make a house call this Friday morning. And because it's a Friday, if they can't find the problem, that means another weekend with no results.

I'll tell you what. If someone emails me with a time and date prediction of when my DSL finally goes live, I'll send the most accurate person something. I don't know what yet, but consider it a small box of random goodies.

So far it's been 35 days since my first call.

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My Adventures In DSL Land

Starring:

- Me

- Speakeasy.net

- and COVAD

A little over a month ago, I decided to get DSL. I did my homework, checked ratings, websites and asked around to find a good DSL provider that wouldn't let me down. After much consideration, I decided on Speakeasy. Afterall, they were rated third for DSL providers in the nation and some friends of mine had very good things to say about them. After checking out thier website, I made the plunge on September 4th and called them. Here begins my story....

Enter Bob. My personal service rep that was intent on getting me hooked up with DSL and being a nice guy in the process. Bob was very helpful and answered all of my questions I could think of. How long it would take, issues with the distance from the CO, whether it matters or not if my name wasn't the name on the phone bill (this is important later), etc, etc. After all was said and done, the order was placed and I hung up the phone excited to soon be getting Speakasy DSL, the third rated DSL provider in the nation.

Speakeasy has this nifty, 'Up to the Minute' status report of your order on thier website. Anxiously, I checked it every day from my office to see how much progress has been made. Each day a new thing happened and it made me feel good to be 'in the loop'. On the third day, all of a sudden, 'Your order has been cancelled' shows up in the list. Along side that, it says that a service rep will contact you shortly to explain to you why your order has been cancelled. So, not wanting to jump the gun, I wait the whole next day for a phone call or email. Nothing. So, not able to wait any longer, I call Bob, my service rep handling my order.

'Bob,' I say, 'My order has been cancelled, what happened?.'

'It has?,' says Bob, 'Oh no.'

The next part of the conversation consisted of him explaining to me that because it was a newly installed phone line, COVAD (who runs the lines) may have submitted it before the phone company could post it. Then Bob says, 'So we will just resubmit the order.....oh, by the way, what phone company are you with?' And i say, 'AT&T, why?'

'Oh, we won't go through them...' Long pause. Information that I could have used YESTERDAY, Bob!

So after grilling him for information yet again, We come to the conclusion that I need to change phone carriers to qualify for Speakeasy DSL. I had just ordered this phone line a week prior, so within two weeks, I'm paying two setup fees and two intial bills for a phone I never ever use just to get DSL. Four days later, I get hooked up with a more suitable phone company and call Bob back to replace the order.

Great! We hit a bump, but we are back on track now and I will be getting DSL soon! Bob replaces the order and again, I wait anxiously checking thier website for the 'Up to the Minute' status. Three days later, I see the message: 'Order has been cancelled due to the customers name not matching the name on the phone bill.' I'm paraphrasing here, but simply, Bob entered my name this time around even though it wasn't my name the first time and we had talked about it this same very issue in our first conversation (see a few paragraphs up). Whoopie!

The next day, I call thier general sales department and explain to them my hardships. Two attempts to get a DSL line and two failures. The person I am talking to now is Joe. Joe says that he can replace the order under him (they work on commision) if I would like to do that. I of course, say yes not caring who gets the sale, I just want my DSL.

SO! My account was now started again by Joe and I am back to square one. Round and round we go and I am back to checking the 'oh so wonderful' 'Up to the Minute' status page. First day I check, the page tells me that 'No DSL order is assosiated with this account'. Ok, no big deal, Joe hadn't put it through yet. I'm patient, I can wait.

Day two: same.

Day three: same.

Day Four: I'm getting worried, so I call Joe on the phone. He's not at his desk, so I leave him a message explaining to him what the website says about my order and I hope that it was a mistake. I was extremely polite because they had been super polite to me so far and felt no reason to be angry. Although, my ears were steaming a bit.

Twenty minutes later, magically before my very eyes, the order goes through. It seems Joe got my message! Too bad he didn't call me back or send me an email explaining that the order sisn't go though because his dog ate his computer or his hand was chopped off in a boating accident or something. I would have believed him....

So here we are. It's September 17th, thirteen days after I initially made my first phone call to the third rated DSL provider in the nation. My order finally goes through....

-cue music- HALLELUJAH!

Finally, I get to the point where it seems every T has been crossed and every I dotted. On September 25th, they send out my modem via UPS. It arrives September 30th.

As a little bit of excitement still exists inside of me despite the Hell I have been experiencing thus far, I set up the modem and wait five minutes (like it says in the instructions). No green light. WHERE'S the fucking green light mother fucker?! A few hours (and a few broken household items) later, I call the third rated DSL provider in the nation, Speakeasy.net.

'Oh Sir, I'm sorry, your line wasn't scheduled to be actiavted until tomorrow.' Well fuck me.

Guess what friends. Today (October 2nd) IS tomorrow and my line has not yet been activated. Again, I call speakasy for some answers. The friendly person on the other line tells me that apparently COVAD has dropped the ball and not activated my line when they were supposed to (APPARENTLY!).

'What can you do?,' I ask.

'Well I submit a 'Trouble Ticket' to COVAD and hope that they see it and it gets worked out,' she says.

'How long will that take?' I say.

'Up to 48 hours....' she says.

And this is where I am right now. It will be a full month for me on Friday while I watch a few of my friends get great DSL service from places like Yahoo and a fricking Digital Satilite place in about 4 days. 4 fucking days!! Third Rated, my ass....