General Discussion HONEST homemade jokes by yourself (YES I know that jokes overlap, it is inevitable).

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Nov 26, 2023, 10:18
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No subject Nov 26, 2023, 10:18
Nov 26, 2023, 10:18
 
Not homemade but a goody:

Fall was upon a remote reservation when the Indian tribe asked their new Chief what the coming winter was going to be like. The Chief had never been taught the secrets of the ancients and when he looked at the sky and local wildlife he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Better safe than sorry, he said that the winter was indeed expected to be cold and that everyone should stock up on firewood.

After several days, the Chief got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be colder than normal," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever, a record breaker."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

"I expect death to be nothingness and by removing from me all possible fears of death, I am thankful to atheism." Isaac Asimov
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HONEST homemade jokes by yourself (YES I know that jokes overlap, it is inevitable).
Nov 24, 2023, 05:20
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HONEST homemade jokes by yourself (YES I know that jokes overlap, it is inevitable). Nov 24, 2023, 05:20
Nov 24, 2023, 05:20
 
Here are are a few of my own but I can guarantee there will be more. Please submit yours here:

  • My doctor told me to cut fat out of my diet, so now I only eat skinny chicks...

  • I asked my dentist how my girlfriend's appointment went the other day and he said that he had to drill and fill three cavities but she handled the suction and the drooling pretty well.
    He also said her teeth were fine too...

  • I took my car to the mechanic and I told him that everytime I was riding with my girlfriend and she's driving, when she pressed the brake pedal the car made a farting sound. I came back a few hours later to pick up my car and I asked the mechanic what the problem was. He said the car was fine and then handed me a business card for a proctologist he did work for. Confused, I asked him why he was giving me this and he said, "Oh, it's for not you, it's for your girlfriend"...

  • Two guys were stranded on a island together. As they sat down to contemplate their situation the first man turned to the second and said, "You know that show,'Gilligan's Island'?".
    The second guy thought for a second and said,"Sure, I know it".
    The first guy said,"Which one would you have chose, Ginger or Marianne?".
    The second guy looked at the first guy, smiled and said,"The Professor".

This comment was edited on Nov 24, 2023, 06:34.
With a damaged Panzer still hunting 'The Haunted Tank' and Gus out of ammo, Jeb knew there was only one option, "Slim, RAM!"
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