Not homemade but a goody:
Fall was upon a remote reservation when the Indian tribe asked their new Chief what the coming winter was going to be like. The Chief had never been taught the secrets of the ancients and when he looked at the sky and local wildlife he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
Better safe than sorry, he said that the winter was indeed expected to be cold and that everyone should stock up on firewood.
After several days, the Chief got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be colder than normal," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever, a record breaker."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."
"I expect death to be nothingness and by removing from me all possible fears of death, I am thankful to atheism." Isaac Asimov