Part of the problem with the Arma community is American players (some of the most selfish and childish gamers on the planet). As a general rule I recommend gaming with Brits, or other Europeans if you are looking for quality players. They generally are better team players and more polite and humble.
Thats a myth.
I have to play on European servers most of the time. While of course the ArmA/OFP community is far more mature than the say CoD4 community, its still much more filled with arrogant, elitist and idiot players than any American servers I join when I play with my friends in America.
Thats also the reason I ALWAYS chose American MMO servers. I had such bad experiences with European ones...
Brits and Germans (I am German) are the worst of all. Swedish guys and some other northern ones are actually ok.
I have given up on waiting for BIS to come back to their senses and do a real ArmA 2 successor.