I [name edited for privacy reasons] by sound body and 50% shit faced, here by declare war on the mice in my house.
I will use all means necessary to eradicate you from this planet.
It was ok when I could hear you scratching here and there, you would come and go as you please over the last few weeks, but I haven't seen you, nor have you made any messes in plain sight.....but you have now crossed the line. You have made a home on my desk, more than 1x, more than 1 location.
I appreciate the fact that you cleaned up the misc doggy bits of food here and there that get tracked through the house, but I don't need them in a nice neat pile on my custom desk with a pile of mouse shit right next to it.
Your life is over. You thought it was funny when I was taking down your cousin the squirrel, well, now, it will be focused on you bitch. You will cease to exist in this house.
Squirrel Mouse Killer.
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
This comment was edited on Oct 23, 20:41.