You wish WoW was more casual? Hell with my ADD even I have a 60.
On my server (Khadgar) we have quite a bit of PVP that takes place out of the Battlegrounds the problem with that is you get uber 60's attacking someplace like the Crossroads and generally making life hell for lowbies.
As for assaults on Ironforge... So far the game heavily favors the Alliance. Each Horde City has 2 entrances that are pretty piss poorly guarded, while getting into Ironforge (either due to guards, players, or the initial freezing up loading up that many people) pretty much nills any chance of raiding it.
As for PVP Grinding? If ya don't like it then go play on a PVP Server, as I have found 'grinding' in WoW to be pretty much non-existant unless your farming, doing a trade skill, or looking for a pattern/schematic for trade skills.