Re-posted from the other Oblivion thread...
An overheard conversation at Bethesda a few months prior to the game's release...
Bethesda Executive: So, update me. How’s Oblivion coming?
Oblivion Lead Designer: So far, so good. Unfortunately, though, we’re over budget.
Executive: Over budget? Well, we’re gonna have to see about cutting some corners then.
Designer: I agree. We pretty much got everything in, though. Graphics, most of the quests, housing, horses, the towns, horse armor, guilds, the works. We’re just finishing up now.
Executive: Great! Anything else?
Designer: Yeah, we just brought in our PC Optimization Team. Right now we’re still using the UI of the X-box version, along with some really bad LOD textures we had to throw in there that we actually got from Quake 1. But don’t worry, the team is going to fix all of that.
Executive: Excellent! Fire them.
Designer: What? Why?
Executive: Well, you said we’re overbudget. We can do without them. Trust me, they did this with that second Deus Ex game. And no one even noticed!
Designer: Sir, that game was pretty bad-
Executive: Nonsense! It’ll be fine. Next?
Designer: Uh… the Radiant AI. Yeah, heh, it’s a little bit harder than we thought.
Executive: Oh man. What can the AI do right now?
Designer: Well… they can walk around and stuff. But nothing we really promised. But we’re working on it!
Executive: Forget it. Trust me, the players won’t even be looking at the AI. They’ll be so fascinated with the graphics that they’ll forget they’re even in a game! You have the deer in already, right?
Designer: Yeah, the deer are in right now.
Executive: Good! We’ll just make a huge deal about that and everything will think our AI is great. “Look, we have DEER!” We can also script up some video and make everyone think that our AI is tremendous.
Designer: Well, if you say so. Now, about the voice actors.
Executive: Yes! We did get Patrick Stewart and Sean Bean, right?
Designer: Yes sir, we did. Two of our designers had to sell their first born children, and one of our sound artists actually had to sell his soul, but we got them!
Executive: That’s so cool. Imagine, you’re in the game, and you go talk to Patrick Stewart anytime you want-
Designer: Ten minutes.
Executive: Ten minutes? What?
Designer: Yeah, he’s only in the game for about ten minutes. Maybe twenty, if you stretch it enough.
Executive: Oh, man. I guess we can still make a big deal of him being in it though. Well, we still got Bean, right?
Designer: Yeah, him we managed to get for the whole game. That’s why the guy had to sell his soul. Agents are a [censored], you know.
Executive: Right on. Now, I noticed we got a lot of NPCs in the game, so I figure we have about thirty actors, right?
Designer: Kinda. More like five.
Executive: Five actors?
Designer: Yeah. But don’t worry, they can do different accents. It’ll be fine. We think the player would never actually notice it.
Executive: Well, as long as you say so. Now, what about patches?
Designer: Patches?
Executive: Good answer. So, anything else?
Designer: Not really. But we’re still heavily over budget. We have to get a lot more money for this game.
Executive: Really? Wow. Well… wait, you said horse armor was already in the game?
Designer: Yep, it’s fully functional.
Executive: I think I have an idea…