Morning, I though you lads would like an update to my testimonial. Im not tearing my heart out anymore and my acts of desperation have subsided. I must admit my last testimonial was a bit vuage, so I would like and take this opportunity to clear it up. When I said I confronted her, I meant I bludgeoned her in bed, and by fraud I simply meant whore.

Now i'm off to walk Oliver, my schnauzer.

Note that they are not for real, it's part of an experiment in viral marketing or something.

There's a guarenteed gift to get you out of a relationship lickity-split.


"....and goddamit tuck up those pajamas!"
- Neidermeyer

Summer times here, probably got hot enough to pop open, is the top of it bulging out?

If you look at the can in the picture, halfway up you can see a big dent and a hole in the side..

When I say your dumb name please stand up briefly, but then quickly drop to your knees and forsake all others before me.

When sticky brown liquid starts leaking from the ceiling you gotta be happy it's just chocolate sauce.

REALLY!!!





If you look at your reflection, is that all you want to be? http://www.nin.com

Summer times here, probably got hot enough to pop open, is the top of it bulging out?


This comment was edited on May 29, 19:14.

You forgot to mention the most important thing: is it still good?!

Based on your original description (before you investigated) I would have guessed some type of roofing sealant ...

I want to wipe them off the face of the earth with the fury of God's own thunder ...

When sticky brown liquid starts leaking from the ceiling you gotta be happy it's just chocolate sauce.

If the ceiling of your house suddenly starting “leaking” this odd black liquidly substance that solidifies into a semi hard substance on your floor…what would you think it is…what would you do?

Well, my house did, so I went to investigate.

http://www.ualr.edu/szsullivan/chocsyrup.jpg

For those of you that need me to describe it… that is an unlabeled can of chocolate syrup that was sitting in the attic on top of a Little Caesars pizza box.

How and why it got up there is going to be one of those mysteries that will never be solved. But just as odd, is how after so many years did it manage to get a hole in it and start leaking?


Isn’t my life filled with wondrous excitement and drama?!



When I say your dumb name please stand up briefly, but then quickly drop to your knees and forsake all others before me.

This comment was edited on May 29, 18:12.

I've lived here (In a small town close by the shore) all 29 years of my life and I've never considered it a problem. Of course, if people take the time to walk, there are actual restrooms everywhere. Either in the boardwalk eateries (If anyone ever goes to Ocean City, Try Prep's Pizza...AMAZING) or every half mile or so in the form of giant super-restrooms with about 10 stalls and nearly as many urinals. Sure, you have to walk, but if you have it so bad that you can't wait a few minutes to get to a bathroom, you probably shouldn't be swimming in the ocean (Or a public pool) in the first place.

To be honest, I stopped swimming in the ocean about 17 years ago. The water is too dirty, and I get tired of babies walking out in the water with brown-stained diapers.

I guess there were other people walking the beach? If not the obvious solution would have been to pee in the sea while not standing inside the water (and your own urine...).
On a sidenote, I guess from an analytical point of view there's really nothing wrong with it in such a situation, with nobody in the water. With all the crap that gets flushed into the ocean, highly diluted pee should be the least concerning.

"You see people walk in up to their waist and sit there for 10 or 15 seconds and then splash themselves in that region,"

Hehe, reminds me of when I was much younger. We used to vacation on the shore in Maine. So one morning we took a walk up the beach looking for seashells and I get the urge. We're light years from the motel and I couldn't wait, so my Dad says just go in up to your waist. Don't you know how cold the water is in Maine? Even in August its quite frigid. I never managed to get past my ankles so my Dad gave me the room key and I made light speed back to the motel