Figures a dick like you would say that!!! GI Joe would just cap their fat homoerotic asses!
Alright, now I gotta jump in here...
Dude, GI Joe couldn't shoot shit! Remember all those battles w/ Cobra? All those lasers going back and forth?! And NOBODY died. Hell, nobody even got SHOT.
Every episode was the damn same: There's be a big shootout at the end, with lasers going back and forth, and Cobra would finally get bored and go home.
GI Joe was a failure. They never stopped the terrorist threat known as Cobra. They kept taking that government funding, and buying all kinds of crazy new weapons, but they never could stop the bad guys. That whole "fictional" $42 toilet seat you always hear about when people talk about government spending? It wasn't fictional at all. According to Scarlet, it was in Duke's private latrine! (How she knew that, I don't want to know. It'd break Snake Eyes' heart anyway.) Speaking of which, Snake Eyes was the only badass in the whole group damn group...
And you know why Cobra was never stopped by GI Joe? Because they were sneaky bastards. Hell, they even had a rock band!
And do you know why Destro and Cobra Commander never got caught? Because they wore masks. A mask is handy. That means you can be a terrorist Monday through Friday, but then on the weekend, if you wanna go to Wal-Mart and pick up some groceries, shop at the mall, or stop at Sonic for a drink, all you had to do was NOT wear your damn mask out in public. As long as they didn't wear their masks, CC or Destro could go through the Burger King drive-thru WITH NO PROBLEMS. It'd be like:
CC: Yesss. I need a number two combo with a biggie side of friesssssss.
Drive-thru attendant: That's an number two combo with biggie fries?
DTA: Your voice kinda sounds familiar. Do you drive through here often, or perhaps lead a vile terrorist organization, bent on taking over the world?
DTA: OK. Your total's $5.42, please pull around to the first window.
And that's why GI Joes sucks.
Alright...rant over. http://tds.nin.com/This comment was edited on Dec 11, 20:24.