Instead of hearing a bunch of people just complaining about Steam (and no I'm not dissing you on this as your complaints sound valid to me), can I hear from those who don't like it what they would like to see instead? What I mean is how would you change Steam so that it met the needs for verification, online distribution, updating, game management and so on? A lot of people here seem really upset about Steam which means to me that you like the game enough to be passionate about it.
As an example, if instead of acting like a game management launcher, like it is setup now, if Steam only launched and then shutdown when it was required, would that suit your needs? Or would having the secondary program launching still upset you? Bioware's Neverwinter Nights launches a secondary program when it needs to be updated, then shuts itself down afterwards. If in launching say Counter-Strike, it detected a newer version, closed CS, launched Steam, downloaded, updated, closed Steam, then relaunched, would this upset you still?
For this to even work though, verification would have to be moved over to the specific game instead so that it could verify while launching/playing. I mean if Steam was changed to just a common API or background app that ran only when the game was launched and closed when the game closed, would this still upset you? If it did then to get around this Valve would have duplicate the exact some code in every single game of theirs which seems kind of ridiculous when you could have one modular system that works in them all.
Hmmm, I wonder if they just changed the default launching options to include launching a specific game only at start would people would still hate it. For example, I never leave Steam running but only launch it when I'm going to play online. I have broadband and usually play CS, so if I launch it and need to update it's usually quick to do so. When I'm done, I shut it down completely. I wonder if this specific game launch option (with an additional option to shut Steam down when closing the game) would suffice people enough. Yes/no?