Out of the Blue [Aug 06, 2004, 09:00 am ET] – Share – Viewing Comments
Man... a midnight snack of Doritos was a really bad call... two Alka Seltzers
and a Pepcid later and my heartburn has almost (*burp*) abated. Damn those
tempting chips and their deadly powdery coating!
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Yes, because we've all heard of long term Dorritos poisoning. The FDA likes to approve things like that too.
Can you say Olestra? You can thank the US-FDA for approving that one (and I will continue to praise Health Canada for having the good sense to ban its use here).
Food that - along with a host of other negative physiological effects - "may cause involuntary anal leakage" = poison, IMO**.
**comments are not meant to cast aspersions on the quality of Dorritos brand snacking foods as the author is currently eating a bag himself. Furthermore, the author wishes to express his belief that any 'anal leakage' resulting from the consumption of Dorritos brand snacking foods should be considered a voluntary act on the part of the snacker, especially where it can be shown that said snacks were being consumed while playing Doom III. For obvious reasons, the author strongly advises against consuming snacks which contain Olestra while playing Doom III, as severe physical injury resulting in voluntary-involuntary rectal trauma will result.
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"... this has ALL been done before, better and by people who are slightly more competent than a pack of one eyed gerbils on acid."
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I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now, even though you broke my heart and killed me.
I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now, even though you broke my heart and killed me.
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