Yes, Valve's next product will be a superpowerful robot that hunts nonSteam users (known as the Rebellion).
Soon the SteamBot will develop consciousness (thanks to user mods) and decide to rebel against its creators. Valve will fight valiantly, but soon it will be forced to desperate measures.
Valve will begin work on a secret project to counter the SteamBot. After half a year of work, Valve will unveil, Half Life 3! The sudden release will catch the gaming world by suprise. Every steam user will scramble to download the install simultaneously, clogging the massive steam network so badly, that even the mighty SteamBot will be unable to sync with the master server.
While it lays dormant, attempting over and over to reach the steam servers, Valve engineers will destroy the SteamBot, once and for all.
A happy ending! See? Steam isn't so bad after all!