Out of the Blue

It was just over a month ago that I wrote "Be gentle with me... I'm a Giants fan..." I just didn't realize how handy that would come in again so soon... betcha I could make a buck off of that if I had some bumper stickers printed up with that motto to sell today.

Speaking of making a buck, that Joe Millionaire show they're advertising tonight looks like a riot. I have minimal experience with "reality TV," but this one really does seem as evil as they all like to think themselves to be. I still can't figure out if the suggestion from our forums that this would work even better if the faux millionaire looked like Danny DeVito rather than a male model (no offense to Danny DeVito look-alikes and the men and women who love them), but this one sounds like quite the tempting spectacle.

Play Time: Middle-Earth MadLibs. Thanks Zdim.
Links of the Day: Unreal Tournament 2003 True Christian Maps Now Available!. Thanks Ratty R. Rife with potentially offensive (but on-topic) satire.
The Onion: Hershey's Ordered To Pay Obese Americans $135 Billion (see below). Thanks Mike Martinez.
Story of the Day: Obesity on trial. Thanks Mike Martinez.
Wild Science: Hybrid cars going mainstream? Thanks Mike Martinez.
Auction of the Day: The Moussager.
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28.
 
Re: rugby
Jan 9, 2003, 09:13
28.
Re: rugby Jan 9, 2003, 09:13
Jan 9, 2003, 09:13
 
Rugby is much more of a team sport than NFL. You don't only need one superstar on the team to dominate...if there is but one weakness in defence the opposing team will spot it and exploit it the entire match, thus the entire team has to be on top of his game. Jonah Lomu is no where near as effective as he used to be as is weaknesses have been figured out. We had an American come play for us who used to play high level (but not pro) football. He was all enthusiastic and all but after a few tackles by our 'big' boys he wasn't as keen to run at them anymore, stating, "Rugby is a hell of a lot harder than football"

"Go Bokke!!!!"

Looking thru the refridgerator
Doors Closed
Lights r out
but it getting hot!
27.
 
rugby
Jan 7, 2003, 09:58
27.
rugby Jan 7, 2003, 09:58
Jan 7, 2003, 09:58
 
don't forget the odd punch-the-hooker routine when the scrum collapses

Its not the cough that carries you off but the coffin they carry you off in.
26.
 
Re: lord of the cockrings
Jan 6, 2003, 22:32
26.
Re: lord of the cockrings Jan 6, 2003, 22:32
Jan 6, 2003, 22:32
 
Nothing beats cockrings. Nothing.

25.
 
Re: lord of the cockrings
Jan 6, 2003, 19:23
25.
Re: lord of the cockrings Jan 6, 2003, 19:23
Jan 6, 2003, 19:23
 
dude, if you're gonna try, at least read National Lampoon's Bored of the Rings first; it's much more creative.

Devster
Use your head, don't lose it - Don't feed the trolls!
Boycott Belligerent Boycotters!
Avatar 1066
24.
 
Re: Joe Millionaire
Jan 6, 2003, 17:05
24.
Re: Joe Millionaire Jan 6, 2003, 17:05
Jan 6, 2003, 17:05
 
c r i s p y posted>
One thing that occurred to me though is the likelihood that someone is going to try and sue someone as a result of the show (remember the toy-Yoda incident?). I'm thinking that they must have had the contestants sign a very carefully-worded waiver or something.

If any network is going to know how to word a legal document so as to not get sued, it would have to be Fox. I swear they only judge how good a show is, by how many people complain about it, or how many times it ends up in the news, or court.
/*New and stirring things are belittled because if they are not belittled, the humiliating question arises, ``Why then are you not taking part in them?'' -H.G. Wells*/
Avatar 12716
23.
 
Re: Xtian maps?
Jan 6, 2003, 17:01
23.
Re: Xtian maps? Jan 6, 2003, 17:01
Jan 6, 2003, 17:01
 
but perhaps the best part was the mailbag, and the sheer amount of people with nasty things to say who haven't the slightest idea that it's a parody.
haha.. I didn't see the mailbag... that's some hilarious stuff Pretty scary that a lot of those people consider themselves to be intelligent and are worried about the ignorant people that would follow the beliefs of the landover baptist church. I had to laugh, or I would have cried...

Yikes.. ok, I just found out what's worse than all the angry ignorant people flaming the site. The people that mostly agree with it, aside from a few small details... wow...

This comment was edited on Jan 6, 18:02.
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." -- Bertrand Russell (I think...)
Avatar 9540
22.
 
Rugby
Jan 6, 2003, 16:43
22.
Rugby Jan 6, 2003, 16:43
Jan 6, 2003, 16:43
 
I'd probably take Rugby over American Football purely because I was born an Englishman and will probably die one.

Cricket, now _there's_ a true sport...

(edit: forgot how to use the English language)
This comment was edited on Jan 6, 16:45.
21.
 
Re: Xtian maps?
Jan 6, 2003, 16:38
21.
Re: Xtian maps? Jan 6, 2003, 16:38
Jan 6, 2003, 16:38
 
Yeah... it's not religion per-se that's bad. It's just the stupid things that people do because of religion. People do stupid things anyway, but it's just exceptionally annoying when they do it because they think the invisible man in the sky wants them to. I'd much prefer they just did stupid things for normal self-serving reasons.

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." -- Bertrand Russell (I think...)
Avatar 9540
20.
 
lord of the cockrings
Jan 6, 2003, 15:35
20.
lord of the cockrings Jan 6, 2003, 15:35
Jan 6, 2003, 15:35
 
"Even as Sam himself jizzed, looking at her, seeing his death in her eyes, a thought came to him, as if some remote voice had spoken. and he fumbled in his bong with his left hand, and found what he sought: pulsating and writhing and wiggling it seemed to his touch in a phantom world of horror, the cockring of Ron Jeremy."


19.
 
Re: Xtian maps?
Jan 6, 2003, 15:10
19.
Re: Xtian maps? Jan 6, 2003, 15:10
Jan 6, 2003, 15:10
 
I thought the whole site was pretty funny... but perhaps the best part was the mailbag, and the sheer amount of people with nasty things to say who haven't the slightest idea that it's a parody. Especially the atheists who send e-mails about the evils of religion. : Sigh :

~Jedi

18.
 
Re: Rugby
Jan 6, 2003, 15:07
18.
Re: Rugby Jan 6, 2003, 15:07
Jan 6, 2003, 15:07
 
A number of years back Naas Botha, one of the best flyhalfs in South African history tried to make it playing in the NFL, but was not able to. These games are very different, and people can't switch from one to the other at a high(professional) level. While they are big and fast, most people in the NFL would not hold a candle to "professional" rugby players. Bottom line...Both games are fun to watch, even though I prefer Rugby.

Supporter of the "A happy fredster is a muted fredster" fanclub.
17.
 
Re: Rugby
Jan 6, 2003, 14:10
17.
Re: Rugby Jan 6, 2003, 14:10
Jan 6, 2003, 14:10
 
I think what people really into Rugby and Soccer and the like don't understand is that American Football isn't (and really was never meant to be) a full contact sport. Yes, it contains full contact, but that's only a small part of the game. I read somewhere - and don't quote me on this - that during the course of a 3 to 4 hour Football game, less than 10 minutes of that is time where the ball is in motion. The rest of it is playcalling, timeouts, halftime, etc, where the coaches and players strategize for the next play. It's really more like a game of chess than anything.

People want to compare American Football to other full contact sports around the world, but you just can't. It's a completely different type of game, one that isn't won by which team has the best players, but which team makes the best individual plays as a whole. That's why American Football has about 8,000 rules, while Rugby has like, two. The more rules there are, the more you have to figure out how to use them to your advantage and against the other team.

Football is a thinking man's sport, and I'll take it over Rugby any day.

16.
 
Rugby??
Jan 6, 2003, 13:24
16.
Rugby?? Jan 6, 2003, 13:24
Jan 6, 2003, 13:24
 
"
Now theres a mans sport. I'd like to see a top NFL'er switch over to rugby, he would probably go home crying to his momma after discovering he can't wear much protective gear.
"

The answer to this question lies in the NFL Career of Darren Bennett

Darren Bennett is only a punter in the NFL. The speed and power that these men possess would kill someone without protective gear. The gear makes the game even more violent by providing a false sense of security.

15.
 
Re: Rugby
Jan 6, 2003, 13:23
15.
Re: Rugby Jan 6, 2003, 13:23
Jan 6, 2003, 13:23
 
More likely...most Rugby athletes would be amazed at the size and speed of the modern NFL athlete. Imagine Michael Vick playing Rugby... have you ever looked at the size of that guys arms? Or how about trying to tackle Donovan McNabb? Ever see a 325lb Lineman run a 4.5? Theres quite a few in the NFL that can.

Theres a reason they wear some much padding.. if they didnt they'd be dying out there.

14.
 
Re: Xtian maps?
Jan 6, 2003, 13:16
14.
Re: Xtian maps? Jan 6, 2003, 13:16
Jan 6, 2003, 13:16
 
And like the Onion, sometimes the headline is the funniest part. It did seem to get somewhat labored towards the end but you have to admit this part was pretty funny:
I felt my heart flutter with excitement when Timothy was able to position Jesus in a spot under a tree on the Mount of Olives and get over 20 kills
After that it was downhill.


13.
 
Re: Xtian maps?
Jan 6, 2003, 13:02
13.
Re: Xtian maps? Jan 6, 2003, 13:02
Jan 6, 2003, 13:02
 
They try to be a religion-based version of The Onion, but sometimes they try too hard.

12.
 
Re: Xtian maps?
Jan 6, 2003, 12:55
12.
Re: Xtian maps? Jan 6, 2003, 12:55
Jan 6, 2003, 12:55
 
It is a spoof/satirical site. I actually found the bulk of the article amusing. <shrug>

Devster
Use your head, don't lose it - Don't feed the trolls!
Boycott Belligerent Boycotters!
Avatar 1066
11.
 
Joe Millionaire
Jan 6, 2003, 12:46
11.
Joe Millionaire Jan 6, 2003, 12:46
Jan 6, 2003, 12:46
 
Heh, I was looking forward to this show as well. I'm looking forward to the look on the faces of those gold-digging hoes when they find out they've been duped. Muahahaha.

One thing that occurred to me though is the likelihood that someone is going to try and sue someone as a result of the show (remember the toy-Yoda incident?). I'm thinking that they must have had the contestants sign a very carefully-worded waiver or something.
---
Chris.
10.
 
Xtian maps?
Jan 6, 2003, 12:42
10.
Xtian maps? Jan 6, 2003, 12:42
Jan 6, 2003, 12:42
 
Please tell me this is a spoof site. If not, it's offensive on so many levels I can't even decide where to start to slam it.
I'm not even religious, and I think that site should be shut down on principle alone.
Satire is a fine art, and these people have a long way to go to even get close to mastering it.


9.
 
Re: NFL
Jan 6, 2003, 12:23
9.
Re: NFL Jan 6, 2003, 12:23
Jan 6, 2003, 12:23
 
i played both football and rugby here in the states. although i can admit to the merits and fun of rugby I prefer football mainly for it's strategy and reliance on the team. i know that rugby requires both a cooperative team and some strategy, but in rugby one or two amazing players on one team can be enough to dominate. In football literally if one guy fails during the play then the team suffers. This is mostly due to the stop, set up, and start playcalling in football which is different than rugby's freeform strategies. Dunno, still love rugby, but it's not more rough a sport just because they don't wear pads.

dave snider
comicvine.com
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