Out of the Blue

I hate the fact that I can't forget today is the anniversary of my mom's death, since I prefer to focus on the wonderful totality of her life, rather than the sad moment it ended. And this year the occasion comes with an additional strange realization. My mom was 20 when she had me, and she died 21 years ago today. So, recalling a Tommy Lee Jones monologue from No Country for Old Men, I am now older than she ever got to be. Just a little added heaviness for me on what was already a heavy day.

Heavy Round-up
Thanks Ant, Neutronbeam, and Max.

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8.
 
Re: OotB: Heavy (sorry)
Sep 18, 2024, 18:58
8.
Re: OotB: Heavy (sorry) Sep 18, 2024, 18:58
Sep 18, 2024, 18:58
 
I don't really talk much about my family on the internet but today seems like a good day to talk about it and this seems like a good place as any... My dad killed himself in 2009 due to untreated mental illness but because of everything he did to destroy the family before then I don't really miss him. Might sound harsh but life really was better off without him in his final years. My mom is still alive but she is NOT taking care of herself and recently had a heart attack. I don't know how much time she's got left but I figure it's not very long. For the last 10 years or so I've had this internal struggle with my mom and my now step dad. We have completely opposing beliefs in literally everything and they take it to such an extreme that I don't even want to associate with them at all anymore. But then again, it's my mom... sigh... wtf do you do in this situation? It's really hard and something I struggle with on a near weekly basis. I don't really talk to them much anymore. They made a decision a couple years ago to take advantage of the housing boom and sold their house (never even offered it to me) for twice what it was worth and took everything and moved 8 hours away from me. Then my mom is upset I don't visit more often... sigh...

On top of all that within the last couple of years I've learned I've got my own terminal illness that WILL kill me... slowly. There's no cure, and there's no real treatment either aside from making it progress a bit slower. I'm 44 this year and I'll be lucky to make to 55. The only consolation in this is that my doctor told me it was literally just bad luck and a mutation that caused it. It wasn't my diet, it wasn't inherited, or anything else. So at least it wasn't my fault.

Life just fucking sucks sometimes.
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Sep 18, 12:35Sep 18 12:35
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Sep 18, 12:55Sep 18 12:55
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Sep 18, 13:54Sep 18 13:54
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Sep 18, 14:33Sep 18 14:33
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Sep 18, 15:35Sep 18 15:35
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Sep 18, 17:11Sep 18 17:11
 8.
Sep 18, 18:58Sep 18 18:58
  Re: OotB: Heavy (sorry)
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Sep 18, 19:38Sep 18 19:38
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Sep 18, 20:54Sep 18 20:54
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Sep 23, 03:54Sep 23 03:54
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Sep 19, 07:30Sep 19 07:30
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Sep 18, 20:33Sep 18 20:33
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Sep 19, 10:21Sep 19 10:21
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Sep 19, 10:29Sep 19 10:29
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Sep 20, 06:26Sep 20 06:26