I have comms disabled in any online multiplayer game I play with randos. I do not need to hear bullshit, I do not need to hear sound boards, I do not need to hear racist speech, and I do not need to hear children.

If the game is designed properly, and players are competent, there is no need for comms. Some games excel at this. Deep Rock Galactic for instance has a pointer. That's all you need. In Killing Floor 2 I have a few text macros for important things.

My crew and I have been having a great time playing Black Ops Cold War, and have had no need for comms with the other players. We just hang out on our own Discord.

Yes, if players think you're a woman, you're going to hear sexually suggestive shit, and harassment. It's unfortunate, but it's the way it is. The women gamers I know deal with it in one of two ways: Either they disable comms, or they just don't give a fuck.