Alec Holowka Dead [Sep 01, 2019, 12:12 pm ET] – Share – Viewing Comments
In announcing Holowka’s passing, Eileen Holowka said that she believes “survivors and I have always done everything I can to support survivors, those suffering from mental illnesses, and those with chronic illnesses.” Eileen goes on to say that her brother suffered from abuse and battled mental illness and a personality disorder during his life. She describes her brother as someone “who wanted only to offer people care and kindness. It took him a while to figure out how.”Alec Holowka, my brother and best friend, passed away this morning. pic.twitter.com/NONUNSZ08q
— Eileen Mary Holowka (@derangedpoetess) August 31, 2019Eileen said that Holowka became a new person in recent years, thanks to a combination of therapy and medication. Eileen says that Holowka was “calm and happy, positive and loving.” In the wake of the allegations made by Zoe Quinn, Eileen said that her brother had been receiving support from the Manitoba crisis services. Eileen adds, “[Holowka’s family] tried our best to support Alec, but in the end he felt he had lost too much.” The statement finishes with the words, “For anyone who is in a time of darkness, I encourage you to reach out for support. There are always people who will be there for you.”
Holowka followed up the tweeted message by saying, “And in case it’s not already f****** obvious, Alec *specifically said* he wished the best for Zoë and everyone else, so don’t use our grief as an excuse to harass people. Go outside, take care of someone, and work towards preventing these kinds of things in the first place.” Eileen Holowka also works in gaming as a developer and was given a special thanks credit on “Night in the Woods.” In the fallout from her brother’s suicide, Eileen said that she does not see a future for herself in gaming.
Bhruic wrote on Sep 1, 2019, 20:03:
This is a really sad situation. It's the result of what I would consider a true Kobayashi Maru - a true no-win scenario. It's easy to jump to knee-jerk reactions that seem like they will solve the problem. Cutter for example, suggests that we don't publish the names of accused unless they've been found guilty in a court of law. On the surface, maybe that makes sense. But you then have to balance it with the fact that one accusation often gives strength and comfort to other people who have been abused, and allows them to come forward and share their story. Not being allowed to accuse someone publicly makes it much harder for police to do their jobs and track down evidence. So the simple solution becomes much more complex. How do you balance someone's right to not be falsely accused against the right to find more victims?
In the same vein, rape allegations are an almost impossible no-win scenario. In the vast majority of cases, there is no evidence that can determine if sex was consensual or forced. Leaving things to the courts means that the majority of rapists go unpunished. As someone who believes in justice, and wants the guilty to be held accountable, that's something I find really bothering. But at the same time, I know for a fact that if we simply accept all rape claims as true, there will be people who weaponize that against people they don't like. That is equally unacceptable. But there really are no better solutions. So we end up stuck in this grey area where most people don't bother going to the police, because it's ineffective, but those people who talk about their alleged rapist publicly get attacked for possibly making the whole thing up.
At the end of the day, I'm just sad that someone lost a brother, or a friend, or whoever he was to the people in his life. He may or may not have been an abuser, but he was still a person, and shouldn't have felt like this was his only option.
Don't you bring your sound logic and reasoning to this knee jerk reaction thread!
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