@GSilver
It could be multiple problems.

Supposedly Blue Light is bad. Everything from TV's, phones, Windows 10 and monitors now have a setting to decrease it.

And a friend brought up a lady who was the medical consultant for House.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Sanders

Diagnosis NYTimes columnist also a Netflix show
Dr. Lisa Sanders on hard-to-solve medical mysteries. Using crowd sourcing to aid in diagnosing hard to pin down ailments.

@GSilver

To get yourself into a more dynamic region, I agree with Ant: could you work remotely?

Could fungal mold in your house be the problem causing your symptoms?

Have you tried meditation? Sam Harris' Waking Up App is a bit pricey, but totally worth it (I say this as someone who spent 5 years living in Asia and regularly attended Zen meditations and retreats). While this may not alleviate physical symptoms, it can definitely help improve mood/outlook/concentration.

As for meeting people, are there any local gaming groups (either PC or board gaming) that you could join? What are your other hobbies?

gsilver wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 21:22:

Mr. Tact wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 08:47:
Wow, sorry dude -- sounds like you need a real life Dr. House. It also sounds like finding companionship might need to be down a bit on your list of priorities.

I don't know... if there *isn't* a solution to the fatigue and other issues (and I've tried damn near everything), am I supposed to just live in a cave alone for the rest of my life?

jdreyer wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 15:07:
Have you tried online dating? Online dating is quickly replacing all the traditional ways of meeting people.

I've tried it a number of times, and it's pretty discouraging. Send out a ton of messages. Get few if any replies. On the rare instances that I've managed to go on a date, it hasn't gone anywhere.

Sounds a lot like my sister's complaints -- only missing the "every guy over 40 wants to date a 20 year old". As serious as your health problems seem to be I'm surprised this problem is even on your radar. But hey, whatever makes you happy. As important as it seems to you, you just need to stick with it and keep trying. You are far from alone in this area, especially since more and more people are settling for being single. Best wishes and good luck, seems like you could use some.

This comment was edited on Aug 18, 2019, 23:54.

...It'd also be nice to live near family, but there are precisely zero programming jobs within 150 miles of where my folks live. There are two on Glass Door at a few just over 150 miles, neither of which are a particularly strong match for my background, in a city where wages are about 48% the national average...
My sister lives in New York City, but having visited twice in the last year, uh... dear god no, I'm not moving to NYC.

I assume you looked for remote jobs too?

There's a lot here, so hopefully I don't miss anything:

RedEye9 wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 02:15:
A TED talk by a doctor (surgeon) who had debilitating depression and was cured.

The last idea I can throw out is household chemical exposure. A friend with a bad back got a brand new memory foam mattress. His back never felt better but he developed a bunch of other symptoms including some that manifested in mental health issues.
He did some research and determined it might be related to his high dollar mattress. The company refunded the mattress, his symptoms cleared up, and all is well.

The body is a complex organism and what works for one group may poison another.

I've tapped my life experience on the subject.
I'd hope that somebody, somewhere has been in your identical situation and was properly diagnosed. And that the information is out there and you come across it.

Re: ECT
I've heard of ECT, but as a programmer, my job depends on my executive functioning being as intact as possible. My mom did go through with it with positive results (and some memory loss), but worse case scenario, it destroys my capacity to work at the level that I have and doesn't do anything for my sleep/energy.
I'm also not even sure if I'm depressed... My mood isn't the greatest, but the physical symptoms (fatigue, daytime sleepiness, headaches, etc) are far and away the overriding factor.

Re: Mattresses
Both my current and previous mattress were expensive memory foam mattresses. The last time I used a traditional mattress was way back in college, and while I had fatigue issues then, too, it was certainly a lot less than now. Then again, I was a lot younger then, too. It's worth a shot, though.

I do have an old traditional spring mattress left behind by a friend who used to rent a room from me that I've been meaning to throw out, and I've got an extra room in my house that I can use (at least they pay programmers well...). All I need is a box spring and some sheets of the right size and I could try it.
//Ordered box spring. It should get here on Tuesday

Mr. Tact wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 08:47:
Wow, sorry dude -- sounds like you need a real life Dr. House. It also sounds like finding companionship might need to be down a bit on your list of priorities.

I don't know... if there *isn't* a solution to the fatigue and other issues (and I've tried damn near everything), am I supposed to just live in a cave alone for the rest of my life?

Kxmode wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 11:48:
Hi, gsilver. Have you tried Quetiapine? They initially prescribed 50mg, which hit me like a freight truck and made me feel like a zombie in the morning. I requested a lower dosage, and they dropped it to 25mg. The results were better. However, adding a dissoluble 10mg Melatonin tab with the Quetiapine is perfect for my brain chemistry. My doctor said Melatonin is typically safe to mix with Seroquel-based medications; though they advise against 20mg or more. I now get good sleep, and the previous issues I suffered from have subsided for now, at least. One condition I am willing to share here is that I had extremely bad insomnia. Without the medicine, I will lay in bed for six hours and not fall asleep. It would not be uncommon for me to be up for 48-72 hours at a time with full stamina and alertness; sometimes doing programming during those times.

I've done better on Seroquel than other things that I've tried. I recall sleeping better at night on it, but still being fatigued, and mood was unchanged. It might be worth a second go with it. I don't recall it making anything in particular worse.
As for melatonin, I've dabbled in it, and all it seems to do is make me feel an intense pressure in my head, but doesn't result in any more sleep at all (in some cases, much less).

jdreyer wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 15:07:
Have you tried online dating? Online dating is quickly replacing all the traditional ways of meeting people.

I've tried it a number of times, and it's pretty discouraging. Send out a ton of messages. Get few if any replies.
On the rare instances that I've managed to go on a date, it hasn't gone anywhere.
It's mostly a matter of working up the nerve for a high level of rejection.

Though if could have like an actual group of friends who wanted to do stuff, like, ever, that would be huge.
It'd also be nice to live near family, but there are precisely zero programming jobs within 150 miles of where my folks live. There are two on Glass Door at a few just over 150 miles, neither of which are a particularly strong match for my background, in a city where wages are about 48% the national average...
My sister lives in New York City, but having visited twice in the last year, uh... dear god no, I'm not moving to NYC.

RedEye9 wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 15:26:

jdreyer wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 15:12:

I know Burrito of Peace also suffers from insomnia. I wonder how he fixed it...

He mainlines tokes of Jazz Cabbage. And more here.

That's pretty funny.

jdreyer wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 15:12:

I know Burrito of Peace also suffers from insomnia. I wonder how he fixed it...

He mainlines tokes of Jazz Cabbage. And more here.

Kxmode wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 11:48:

gsilver wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 01:16:

RedEye9 wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:38:

Mr. Tact wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:11:

gsilver wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 23:59:
Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

You might want to see a doctor about that, it doesn't sound normal. Do you sleep well? Do you "wake up tired"? Could be anything from you are simply working too hard, or a medical problem of some kind -- lyme disease, sleep apnea, any number of other things... You're not vaping are you? (just kidding..)

Your fatigue issues definitely don't sound normal. Tact mentioned some common culprits and here's a few more. Thyroid, depression and leukemia.

It's time for a thorough checkup and a discussion of your symptoms with a medical professional.

As for loneliness, keep working on that, you would not be the first person to attend church with the express purpose of meeting people.
I wish you the best, on both fronts.

According to my insurance website, I’ve had over $35,000 in medical bills this year.
I’ve tried a host of antidepressants (which at best did nothing and at worst... I try not to think about it), sleeping pills (I always wake up tired, and almost always between 3 and 5)CPAP, Bipap, ASV (after the previous two saw almost exclusively central events, then was told by the doctor to stop after a month of compliance but no improvement), a mandibuar advancement split (since my sleep apnea isn’t all central, and this at least doesn’t increase central events), Provigil, Nuvigil, Adderall, supplements, talk therapy (which ends up being 70% “I’m tired”, 20% “I want to move” and 10% everything else, boatloads of tests, an endocrinologist, a nutritionist, an acupuncturist (not covered by insurance, but I’ll try anything at this point), even more esoteric depression treatments like transcranial magnetic stimulation (which may have helped a little), chiropractors, and who knows what else.
I’m still seeing the acupuncturist and therapist, and may soon subject myself to another round of antidepressants, though I worry about what will happen.

I seriously don’t know what else to do. I’m on my fifth or sixth sleep doctor, and they don’t know what to do.

//No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no caffeine (it makes my sleep even worse and doesn’t do enough to keep me awake during the day), diet is highly monitored (since the wrong foods make me feel even worse, if you can believe that), not overweight
Work schedule isn’t too bad (Just 9-5, for the most part), but even that frequently takes more energy than I have, and I spend the day with thoughts consumed by how many more minutes until I can justify sneaking out to the car to take a quick nap.

Hi, gsilver. Have you tried Quetiapine? They initially prescribed 50mg, which hit me like a freight truck and made me feel like a zombie in the morning. I requested a lower dosage, and they dropped it to 25mg. The results were better. However, adding a dissoluble 10mg Melatonin tab with the Quetiapine is perfect for my brain chemistry. My doctor said Melatonin is typically safe to mix with Seroquel-based medications; though they advise against 20mg or more. I now get good sleep, and the previous issues I suffered from have subsided for now, at least. One condition I am willing to share here is that I had extremely bad insomnia. Without the medicine, I will lay in bed for six hours and not fall asleep. It would not be uncommon for me to be up for 48-72 hours at a time with full stamina and alertness; sometimes doing programming during those times.

I know Burrito of Peace also suffers from insomnia. I wonder how he fixed it...

gsilver wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 01:16:

RedEye9 wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:38:

Mr. Tact wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:11:

gsilver wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 23:59:
Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

You might want to see a doctor about that, it doesn't sound normal. Do you sleep well? Do you "wake up tired"? Could be anything from you are simply working too hard, or a medical problem of some kind -- lyme disease, sleep apnea, any number of other things... You're not vaping are you? (just kidding..)

Your fatigue issues definitely don't sound normal. Tact mentioned some common culprits and here's a few more. Thyroid, depression and leukemia.

It's time for a thorough checkup and a discussion of your symptoms with a medical professional.

As for loneliness, keep working on that, you would not be the first person to attend church with the express purpose of meeting people.
I wish you the best, on both fronts.

According to my insurance website, I’ve had over $35,000 in medical bills this year.
I’ve tried a host of antidepressants (which at best did nothing and at worst... I try not to think about it), sleeping pills (I always wake up tired, and almost always between 3 and 5)CPAP, Bipap, ASV (after the previous two saw almost exclusively central events, then was told by the doctor to stop after a month of compliance but no improvement), a mandibuar advancement split (since my sleep apnea isn’t all central, and this at least doesn’t increase central events), Provigil, Nuvigil, Adderall, supplements, talk therapy (which ends up being 70% “I’m tired”, 20% “I want to move” and 10% everything else, boatloads of tests, an endocrinologist, a nutritionist, an acupuncturist (not covered by insurance, but I’ll try anything at this point), even more esoteric depression treatments like transcranial magnetic stimulation (which may have helped a little), chiropractors, and who knows what else.
I’m still seeing the acupuncturist and therapist, and may soon subject myself to another round of antidepressants, though I worry about what will happen.

I seriously don’t know what else to do. I’m on my fifth or sixth sleep doctor, and they don’t know what to do.

//No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no caffeine (it makes my sleep even worse and doesn’t do enough to keep me awake during the day), diet is highly monitored (since the wrong foods make me feel even worse, if you can believe that), not overweight
Work schedule isn’t too bad (Just 9-5, for the most part), but even that frequently takes more energy than I have, and I spend the day with thoughts consumed by how many more minutes until I can justify sneaking out to the car to take a quick nap.

Wow, that covers a lot. Have you tried meditation?

I hope you figure it out.

gsilver wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 23:59:
I read the article on the pill that may help with loneliness. I really hope that they make some strides with it.

I'm at an age and location where there are extremely few singles (the fewest in the US of any mid-sized or larger city) that's extremely religious, and I just can't work through the mental gymnastics that being religious requires (though I sure have tried... Maybe Religion is another "fake it till you make it" thing?)

I'm literally shot down every time I ask anyone to hang out, can't even tell you the last time I met someone I'd be interested in (and it's rare to find anyone who's even single +/- 10 years of my age; The singles meetups are filled with the elderly, and the local college is, well, a college) People from work don't want to hang out. I had a small group of friends who I watched anime with occasionally that has all but fallen apart, and I'm going to a number of meetup groups, but no real connections there, and most of them are an hour each way (since most are in a neighboring larger city).

I want to move, but most jobs in my field (programming) are also in places that are ungodly expensive (though thankfully... less godly in the literal sense, in that not 90% people are in the predominant religion)

If I could just count on eating a freaking meal with another human being a couple of times a month, I'd probably feel a lot better.

Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

Have you tried online dating? Online dating is quickly replacing all the traditional ways of meeting people.

gsilver wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 01:16:

RedEye9 wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:38:

Mr. Tact wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:11:

gsilver wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 23:59:
Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

You might want to see a doctor about that, it doesn't sound normal. Do you sleep well? Do you "wake up tired"? Could be anything from you are simply working too hard, or a medical problem of some kind -- lyme disease, sleep apnea, any number of other things... You're not vaping are you? (just kidding..)

Your fatigue issues definitely don't sound normal. Tact mentioned some common culprits and here's a few more. Thyroid, depression and leukemia.

It's time for a thorough checkup and a discussion of your symptoms with a medical professional.

As for loneliness, keep working on that, you would not be the first person to attend church with the express purpose of meeting people.
I wish you the best, on both fronts.

According to my insurance website, I’ve had over $35,000 in medical bills this year.
I’ve tried a host of antidepressants (which at best did nothing and at worst... I try not to think about it), sleeping pills (I always wake up tired, and almost always between 3 and 5)CPAP, Bipap, ASV (after the previous two saw almost exclusively central events, then was told by the doctor to stop after a month of compliance but no improvement), a mandibuar advancement split (since my sleep apnea isn’t all central, and this at least doesn’t increase central events), Provigil, Nuvigil, Adderall, supplements, talk therapy (which ends up being 70% “I’m tired”, 20% “I want to move” and 10% everything else, boatloads of tests, an endocrinologist, a nutritionist, an acupuncturist (not covered by insurance, but I’ll try anything at this point), even more esoteric depression treatments like transcranial magnetic stimulation (which may have helped a little), chiropractors, and who knows what else.
I’m still seeing the acupuncturist and therapist, and may soon subject myself to another round of antidepressants, though I worry about what will happen.

I seriously don’t know what else to do. I’m on my fifth or sixth sleep doctor, and they don’t know what to do.

//No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no caffeine (it makes my sleep even worse and doesn’t do enough to keep me awake during the day), diet is highly monitored (since the wrong foods make me feel even worse, if you can believe that), not overweight
Work schedule isn’t too bad (Just 9-5, for the most part), but even that frequently takes more energy than I have, and I spend the day with thoughts consumed by how many more minutes until I can justify sneaking out to the car to take a quick nap.

Hi, gsilver. Have you tried Quetiapine? They initially prescribed 50mg, which hit me like a freight truck and made me feel like a zombie in the morning. I requested a lower dosage, and they dropped it to 25mg. The results were better. However, adding a dissoluble 10mg Melatonin tab with the Quetiapine is perfect for my brain chemistry. My doctor said Melatonin is typically safe to mix with Seroquel-based medications; though they advise against 20mg or more. I now get good sleep, and the previous issues I suffered from have subsided for now, at least. One condition I am willing to share here is that I had extremely bad insomnia. Without the medicine, I will lay in bed for six hours and not fall asleep. It would not be uncommon for me to be up for 48-72 hours at a time with full stamina and alertness; sometimes doing programming during those times.

RedEye9 wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 02:15:
A TED talk by a doctor (surgeon) who had debilitating depression and was cured.

I had already listened to this TED talk on NPR. Incredible story.

Here is another cool health story from Radiolab. The issue in this case was acute though, not chronic. (first 12 minutes of the program is the story I am talking about)

Radiolab

This comment was edited on Aug 18, 2019, 12:59.

Wow, sorry dude -- sounds like you need a real life Dr. House. It also sounds like finding companionship might need to be down a bit on your list of priorities.

gsilver wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 01:16:

RedEye9 wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:38:

Mr. Tact wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:11:

gsilver wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 23:59:
Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

You might want to see a doctor about that, it doesn't sound normal. Do you sleep well? Do you "wake up tired"? Could be anything from you are simply working too hard, or a medical problem of some kind -- lyme disease, sleep apnea, any number of other things... You're not vaping are you? (just kidding..)

Your fatigue issues definitely don't sound normal. Tact mentioned some common culprits and here's a few more. Thyroid, depression and leukemia.

It's time for a thorough checkup and a discussion of your symptoms with a medical professional.

As for loneliness, keep working on that, you would not be the first person to attend church with the express purpose of meeting people.
I wish you the best, on both fronts.

According to my insurance website, I’ve had over $35,000 in medical bills this year.
I’ve tried a host of antidepressants (which at best did nothing and at worst... I try not to think about it), sleeping pills (I always wake up tired, and almost always between 3 and 5)CPAP, Bipap, ASV (after the previous two saw almost exclusively central events, then was told by the doctor to stop after a month of compliance but no improvement), a mandibuar advancement split (since my sleep apnea isn’t all central, and this at least doesn’t increase central events), Provigil, Nuvigil, Adderall, supplements, talk therapy (which ends up being 70% “I’m tired”, 20% “I want to move” and 10% everything else, boatloads of tests, an endocrinologist, a nutritionist, an acupuncturist (not covered by insurance, but I’ll try anything at this point), even more esoteric depression treatments like transcranial magnetic stimulation (which may have helped a little), chiropractors, and who knows what else.
I’m still seeing the acupuncturist and therapist, and may soon subject myself to another round of antidepressants, though I worry about what will happen.

I seriously don’t know what else to do. I’m on my fifth or sixth sleep doctor, and they don’t know what to do.

//No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no caffeine (it makes my sleep even worse and doesn’t do enough to keep me awake during the day), diet is highly monitored (since the wrong foods make me feel even worse, if you can believe that), not overweight
Work schedule isn’t too bad (Just 9-5, for the most part), but even that frequently takes more energy than I have, and I spend the day with thoughts consumed by how many more minutes until I can justify sneaking out to the car to take a quick nap.

A TED talk by a doctor (surgeon) who had debilitating depression and was cured.

The last idea I can throw out is household chemical exposure. A friend with a bad back got a brand new memory foam mattress. His back never felt better but he developed a bunch of other symptoms including some that manifested in mental health issues.
He did some research and determined it might be related to his high dollar mattress. The company refunded the mattress, his symptoms cleared up, and all is well.

The body is a complex organism and what works for one group may poison another.

I've tapped my life experience on the subject.
I'd hope that somebody, somewhere has been in your identical situation and was properly diagnosed. And that the information is out there and you come across it.

Dup

This comment was edited on Aug 18, 2019, 02:16.

RedEye9 wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:38:

Mr. Tact wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:11:

gsilver wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 23:59:
Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

You might want to see a doctor about that, it doesn't sound normal. Do you sleep well? Do you "wake up tired"? Could be anything from you are simply working too hard, or a medical problem of some kind -- lyme disease, sleep apnea, any number of other things... You're not vaping are you? (just kidding..)

Your fatigue issues definitely don't sound normal. Tact mentioned some common culprits and here's a few more. Thyroid, depression and leukemia.

It's time for a thorough checkup and a discussion of your symptoms with a medical professional.

As for loneliness, keep working on that, you would not be the first person to attend church with the express purpose of meeting people.
I wish you the best, on both fronts.

According to my insurance website, I’ve had over $35,000 in medical bills this year.
I’ve tried a host of antidepressants (which at best did nothing and at worst... I try not to think about it), sleeping pills (I always wake up tired, and almost always between 3 and 5)CPAP, Bipap, ASV (after the previous two saw almost exclusively central events, then was told by the doctor to stop after a month of compliance but no improvement), a mandibuar advancement split (since my sleep apnea isn’t all central, and this at least doesn’t increase central events), Provigil, Nuvigil, Adderall, supplements, talk therapy (which ends up being 70% “I’m tired”, 20% “I want to move” and 10% everything else, boatloads of tests, an endocrinologist, a nutritionist, an acupuncturist (not covered by insurance, but I’ll try anything at this point), even more esoteric depression treatments like transcranial magnetic stimulation (which may have helped a little), chiropractors, and who knows what else.
I’m still seeing the acupuncturist and therapist, and may soon subject myself to another round of antidepressants, though I worry about what will happen.

I seriously don’t know what else to do. I’m on my fifth or sixth sleep doctor, and they don’t know what to do.

//No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no caffeine (it makes my sleep even worse and doesn’t do enough to keep me awake during the day), diet is highly monitored (since the wrong foods make me feel even worse, if you can believe that), not overweight
Work schedule isn’t too bad (Just 9-5, for the most part), but even that frequently takes more energy than I have, and I spend the day with thoughts consumed by how many more minutes until I can justify sneaking out to the car to take a quick nap.

Mr. Tact wrote on Aug 18, 2019, 00:11:

gsilver wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 23:59:
Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

You might want to see a doctor about that, it doesn't sound normal. Do you sleep well? Do you "wake up tired"? Could be anything from you are simply working too hard, or a medical problem of some kind -- lyme disease, sleep apnea, any number of other things... You're not vaping are you? (just kidding..)

Your fatigue issues definitely don't sound normal. Tact mentioned some common culprits and here's a few more. Thyroid, depression and leukemia.

It's time for a thorough checkup and a discussion of your symptoms with a medical professional.

As for loneliness, keep working on that, you would not be the first person to attend church with the express purpose of meeting people.
I wish you the best, on both fronts.

gsilver wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 23:59:
Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

You might want to see a doctor about that, it doesn't sound normal. Do you sleep well? Do you "wake up tired"? Could be anything from you are simply working too hard, or a medical problem of some kind -- lyme disease, sleep apnea, any number of other things... You're not vaping are you? (just kidding..)

I read the article on the pill that may help with loneliness. I really hope that they make some strides with it.

I'm at an age and location where there are extremely few singles (the fewest in the US of any mid-sized or larger city) that's extremely religious, and I just can't work through the mental gymnastics that being religious requires (though I sure have tried... Maybe Religion is another "fake it till you make it" thing?)

I'm literally shot down every time I ask anyone to hang out, can't even tell you the last time I met someone I'd be interested in (and it's rare to find anyone who's even single +/- 10 years of my age; The singles meetups are filled with the elderly, and the local college is, well, a college) People from work don't want to hang out. I had a small group of friends who I watched anime with occasionally that has all but fallen apart, and I'm going to a number of meetup groups, but no real connections there, and most of them are an hour each way (since most are in a neighboring larger city).

I want to move, but most jobs in my field (programming) are also in places that are ungodly expensive (though thankfully... less godly in the literal sense, in that not 90% people are in the predominant religion)

If I could just count on eating a freaking meal with another human being a couple of times a month, I'd probably feel a lot better.

Though energy is another factor. I've got some bad fatigue issues, and have to lie down for much of the time not spent working. It really makes the hour-each-way to meetup groups after work seem daunting.

Sepharo wrote on Aug 17, 2019, 00:43:
I've never seen a vaping commercial. That's a thing?

Yep. The one I've seen a couple of times now touts how "technology has made everything better, why not your smoking? Now it has!" And shows a vape stick (or whatever they are called) being assembled as it slowly tumbles through the air. The very first time I saw it, I heard a slightly different audio in my head, something like "We have figured out a better way to deliver deadly, cancer causing, materials to you!"