Send News. Want a reply? Read this. More in the FAQ.   News Forum - All Forums - Mobile - PDA - RSS Headlines  RSS Headlines   Twitter  Twitter
Customize
User Settings
Styles:

Wanking Simulator Announced

Every time we think we've seen it all, something like this comes along to humble us. There's now a listing on Steam for a game called Wanking Simulator, an action/adventure expected in Q3 of this year. As for the subject matter, the title sums it up, so this immature game carries the following mature content warning: "The only sexual content in the game is our main character masturbating. No sexual organs are visible." Here's the reveal trailer along with word on how this will allow players to take matters into their own hands:

You play as Winston Gay, a man whose house was taken away by the corrupt government after being called out for wanking too loud by his neighbours. Now, Winston is on a mission to make everyone in the town pay a price for taking away his home.

Wanking Simulator is a mix of destruction & wanking - you are thrown into a town called Gay Bay consisting of a church (God bless), a number of houses and a few other places, such as high school, a garage etc.
The main goal is to destroy as many things as possible before getting caught by the police and collect points by wanking to the chaos we caused.
You are free to go wherever you want, and destroy anything you want.
Our protagonist is given unlockable superpowers, such as making gravity weaker, spawning a rifle in your panties, teleport etc.

View
12 Replies. 1 pages. Viewing page 1.
< Newer [ 1 ] Older >

12. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 12:24 peteham
 
aka_STEVE wrote on May 14, 2019, 07:46:
HOW is this not en EPIC games store exclusive !?!?!?!?
Laugh2
 
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
11. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 10:15 The Half Elf
 
Ok this is just trash. It needs to go.  
Avatar 12670
 
Using a steering wheel on a Burnout game is like using the Space Shuttle controls to fly a kite.
https://www.twitch.tv/the_half_elf
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
10. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 09:54 wtf_man
 
Fap,Fap,Fap,Fap,Fap,Fap,Fap...  
Avatar 19499
 
"Did you even read cutters post or are you just suffering from rectal cranial inversion." - RedEye9
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
9. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 07:58 Pr()ZaC
 
aka_STEVE wrote on May 14, 2019, 07:46:
HOW is this not en EPIC games store exclusive !?!?!?!?
lol... exactly.
 
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
8. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 07:46 aka_STEVE
 
HOW is this not en EPIC games store exclusive !?!?!?!?  
Avatar 58495
 
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
7. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 02:29 El Pit
 
We need also another sort of simulator: Braindead Monkey Game Developers!  
They're waiting for you, Gabe, in the test chamber!
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
6. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 22:36 [VG]Reagle
 
OMG WHAT A GAME!!! 10 out of 10  
Avatar 8515
 
DON'T LIKE MY COMMENTS?!? THEN STOP RELEASING GARBAGE.
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
5. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 21:44 Cutter
 
They could have been a lot more creative about where to wank a la The Wanker Song.

I've wanked over Italy
I've wanked over Spain
I've wanked in an omibus
I've even had a wank in a train

I've used a badger
And a lemon
And a cat
A inflatable Linda Lovelace
And a Davey Crocket hat
 
Avatar 25394
 
"Put the pick in there, Pete, and turn it round real neat."
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
4. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 20:47 Dev
 
I clicked on the steam page out of curiosity... steam tells me below in the similar titles box that I should look at:

Grand Theft Auto V
 
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
3. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 20:38 jdreyer
 
The PC gaming shark has officially been jumped wanked.

Also, I was under the impression that wanking reduced violent tendencies? Maybe the player in an incel.
 
Avatar 22024
 
The land in Minecraft is flat, Minecraft simulates the Earth, ergo the Earth is flat.
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
2. Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 19:58 Saboth
 
I dunno, the preview video made me laugh a few times. Especially grabbing the picture of the old lady then throwing it at the police.  
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
1. Re: Activision Blizzard Record Results, Layoffs May 13, 2019, 19:52 Stormsinger
 
I take it this was the result of some competition for "Most Stupid Game Concept".  
Reply Quote Edit Delete Report
 
12 Replies. 1 pages. Viewing page 1.
< Newer [ 1 ] Older >


footer

Blue's News logo