Wanking Simulator Announced

Every time we think we've seen it all, something like this comes along to humble us. There's now a listing on Steam for a game called Wanking Simulator, an action/adventure expected in Q3 of this year. As for the subject matter, the title sums it up, so this immature game carries the following mature content warning: "The only sexual content in the game is our main character masturbating. No sexual organs are visible." Here's the reveal trailer along with word on how this will allow players to take matters into their own hands:
You play as Winston Gay, a man whose house was taken away by the corrupt government after being called out for wanking too loud by his neighbours. Now, Winston is on a mission to make everyone in the town pay a price for taking away his home.

Wanking Simulator is a mix of destruction & wanking - you are thrown into a town called Gay Bay consisting of a church (God bless), a number of houses and a few other places, such as high school, a garage etc.
The main goal is to destroy as many things as possible before getting caught by the police and collect points by wanking to the chaos we caused.
You are free to go wherever you want, and destroy anything you want.
Our protagonist is given unlockable superpowers, such as making gravity weaker, spawning a rifle in your panties, teleport etc.

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12.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 14, 2019, 12:24
12.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 12:24
May 14, 2019, 12:24
 
aka_STEVE wrote on May 14, 2019, 07:46:
HOW is this not en EPIC games store exclusive !?!?!?!?
Laugh2
11.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 14, 2019, 10:15
11.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 10:15
May 14, 2019, 10:15
 
Ok this is just trash. It needs to go.
Avatar 12670
10.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 14, 2019, 09:54
10.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 09:54
May 14, 2019, 09:54
 
Fap,Fap,Fap,Fap,Fap,Fap,Fap...
Get your games from GOG DAMMIT!
Avatar 19499
9.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 14, 2019, 07:58
9.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 07:58
May 14, 2019, 07:58
 
aka_STEVE wrote on May 14, 2019, 07:46:
HOW is this not en EPIC games store exclusive !?!?!?!?
lol... exactly.
8.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 14, 2019, 07:46
8.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 07:46
May 14, 2019, 07:46
 
HOW is this not en EPIC games store exclusive !?!?!?!?
Avatar 58495
7.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 14, 2019, 02:29
El Pit
 
7.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 14, 2019, 02:29
May 14, 2019, 02:29
 El Pit
 
We need also another sort of simulator: Braindead Monkey Game Developers!
"There is no right life in the wrong one." (Theodor W. Adorno, philosopher)
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes." (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi)
Founder, president, and only member of the official "Grumpy Old Gamers Club". Please do not apply.
6.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 13, 2019, 22:36
6.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 22:36
May 13, 2019, 22:36
 
OMG WHAT A GAME!!! 10 out of 10
DON'T LIKE MY COMMENTS?!? THEN STOP RELEASING GARBAGE.
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5.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 13, 2019, 21:44
5.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 21:44
May 13, 2019, 21:44
 
They could have been a lot more creative about where to wank a la The Wanker Song.

I've wanked over Italy
I've wanked over Spain
I've wanked in an omibus
I've even had a wank in a train

I've used a badger
And a lemon
And a cat
A inflatable Linda Lovelace
And a Davey Crocket hat
"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake." - Henny Youngman
4.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 13, 2019, 20:47
Dev
4.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 20:47
May 13, 2019, 20:47
Dev
 
I clicked on the steam page out of curiosity... steam tells me below in the similar titles box that I should look at:

Grand Theft Auto V
3.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 13, 2019, 20:38
3.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 20:38
May 13, 2019, 20:38
 
The PC gaming shark has officially been jumped wanked.

Also, I was under the impression that wanking reduced violent tendencies? Maybe the player in an incel.
If Russia stops fighting, the war ends. If Ukraine stops fighting, Ukraine ends. Slava Ukraini!
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2.
 
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced
May 13, 2019, 19:58
2.
Re: Wanking Simulator Announced May 13, 2019, 19:58
May 13, 2019, 19:58
 
I dunno, the preview video made me laugh a few times. Especially grabbing the picture of the old lady then throwing it at the police.
1.
 
Re: Activision Blizzard Record Results, Layoffs
May 13, 2019, 19:52
1.
Re: Activision Blizzard Record Results, Layoffs May 13, 2019, 19:52
May 13, 2019, 19:52
 
I take it this was the result of some competition for "Most Stupid Game Concept".
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