(The following is Satire for Adults
). Unborn children, and/or the stonehead monoliths on Easter Island, will definitely not
i, I'm "Suck it Down" John Romero, here. Decades ago I designed a couple of levels in the John Carmack/id software release, "Doom," and ever since then I've been trying very hard to convince people it was my game
, all mine--ground up, every level, every line of code--eg, who was
J. Carmack, and who cares
I mean, seriously, if you bought Daikatana
then I've already "made you my bitch
" (catchy, eh?) once, right? Second time's the charm! So get ready to go, meh bitches!
...Your Mast-ah (Is it a wig or is it Romero?
) calls! He commands
his legion of mindless thralls
to rise from the dead once again! Because...*off-key drum roll*...*sour trumpet blast*...If
I get enough paid
preorders, and I say if
, I might
actually develop a game, maybe even Daikatana Remastered 2020
, and note that I say this without promising anything
--or at least, I might hire the people who will develop the game--or I might wriggle in and ingratiate myself with the people who will actually develop the game--so long as I get all the credit, of course! It's all the same--someone
has to take the credit for things that get produced--so why not me? I've found that is a motto that works well for me, personally--always has, if you can't tell.
What? What's that you say? What was my all-time hunky-dory delicious-mostest
favorite thing about Daikatana
that to this day remains most loved by my swooning ocean of fans? Here's a hint--because if you haven't yet bought my masterpiece of yesteryear, here is all I will say
: Talk to the frog
It is well known universally that I do not make mistakes--so, if you should happen across an error in that which I have written, please be assured that *I* did not write it!...:)