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Out of the Blue

I had a car inspection yesterday that left me across the street from a Smash Burger that I've been curious about since it recently popped up in that spot. Though the burgers I make in Manstovia are half-pound monsters, I have a lifelong affection for the kind of squashed on a flattop type served by places like this. Unfortunately the street I had to traverse was basically a highway, and it took over five minutes to cross three intersections to cover what had to be 100 yards as the crow flies, putting extra pressure on them to serve a good burger. But it did turn out to be pretty satisfactory, and the place had surprising elements of an actual restaurant for a fast-food joint. The only disappointment was the fried pickles. They did them right (chips versus spears), but there was something weirdly wilted about them like they were over-fried or came out of the freezer or something.

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11. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 16:24 Pigeon
 
SlimRam wrote on Feb 1, 2018, 15:31:
Pigeon wrote on Feb 1, 2018, 13:48:
... One of the Five Guys locations I used to go to was like liquid plumber for humans, the one I normally eat at now has no such effects...
Soooo, I GOTTA ASK... like... was one of the reasons you frequented this establishment often was because of it's colon blowing qualities? How would you even justify trying to get your friends to go with you, "Dudes, you GOTTA check out this burger place! If want to be shitting yourself by the time you get home, THIS IS THE PLACE!"

It wasn't my idea to go, but it was my idea to stop going or rather try another location. Sometimes it takes one person speaking up for everyone to realize it's not just them. But hey, if I'm ever backed up I know where to go. I also had to put the stop on Wing Stop.
 
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10. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 15:31 SlimRam
 
Pigeon wrote on Feb 1, 2018, 13:48:
... One of the Five Guys locations I used to go to was like liquid plumber for humans, the one I normally eat at now has no such effects...
Soooo, I GOTTA ASK... like... was one of the reasons you frequented this establishment often was because of it's colon blowing qualities? How would you even justify trying to get your friends to go with you, "Dudes, you GOTTA check out this burger place! If want to be shitting yourself by the time you get home, THIS IS THE PLACE!"
 
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9. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 13:48 Pigeon
 
I generally like five guys and smash burger; as someone else said it’s mostly about the toppings and having a patty that’s better than (regular) fast food places. Like all franchises there’s enough variation between locations to leave a good or bad impression if based on just one experience. One of the Five Guys locations I used to go to was like liquid plumber for humans, the one I normally eat at now has no such effects. I think people get over enthusiastic about these kinds of places, like it’s a 5 star restaurant where the average meal is $10. I remember reading how some lady started crying because she was so happy there was an In and Out in Dallas. If a chain burger joint is eliciting that kind of emotional reaction, it might be time to reevaluate your life’s goals.  
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8. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 13:00 Cutter
 
There's an old school burger joint called Mister Burger I usually go by to get one. Nothing stellar, but not bad, and still cheap - $4. Whereas there's a really good burger place out here name of Justice Burger and it's an effing good hamburger but it's also 10 effing dollars to boot which is just too much. I really wish we had a Big Kahuna burger, that Hawaiian burger joint, however.
 
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7. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 12:46 Burrito of Peace
 
RedEye9 wrote on Feb 1, 2018, 11:42:
You ain't been properly cleaned out until you've eaten at GM Steakhouse on the drag (Guadalupe). {wink}

I luckily dodged that bullet. Had a co-worker at Dell come down with a terrible bout of food poisoning from eating at the Sixth and Lamar location (just after they moved off the Drag). Decided that was probably a place that I would want to skip!

This comment was edited on Feb 1, 2018, 17:25.
 
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6. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 12:33 Peter M. Smith
 
Beamer, we got a Shake Shack out here last year, maybe the year before. The burger was good, but it wasn't "worth the price" good (same problem with Epic Burger, frankly) We've yet to get In-n-Out, the nearest one is a long day's drive each way. So you make do with what you have.  
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5. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 11:42 RedEye9
 
Burrito of Peace wrote on Feb 1, 2018, 11:15:

Five Guys figured out how to give me diarrhea every time I ate there so I don't eat there anymore.

You ain't been properly cleaned out until you've eaten at GM Steakhouse on the drag (Guadalupe). {wink}
 
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4. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 11:22 eRe4s3r
 
Pickles are supposed to be slowly cooked, which takes around 30 minutes same for the meat which you have to warm at 72°C after very very short frying them, and that right there is why I don't go to burger joints. You always get the cheapest made crap or rather the crap that they can make quickly. Yeah it may taste good, but it ain't good good.

Btw, I make my burgers with pickles, and slow cooking them is how you have to do it, doing them any other way makes for some really butt ugly pickles that taste like crap, or rather they don't taste like pickles (Which is the ONLY reason you add pickles, imo ;p)

Edit: Wonder what my spell check was doing but it didn't know slowcooking and turned into steam cooking

 
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3. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 11:15 Burrito of Peace
 
Peter M. Smith wrote on Feb 1, 2018, 10:36:
After having eaten there a few times, I put Smash Burger in the category of "Trying too hard." They just couldn't figure out how to get "it", like Five Guys did.

Five Guys figured out how to give me diarrhea every time I ate there so I don't eat there anymore.

In-n-Out is awesome. Mighty Fine is pretty good while P Terry's is overrated garbage.

Best place I've ever had a burger was this little shack called "Backporch Burgers". They where phenomenal. Guy's name was Dave and he had a little flamebroiler that was tuned to perfection. His beef mix had veal in it. Each single patty was a pound and all his buns were baked by a local bakery and delivered each morning. He easily sold out by 2 each day. His wife was an absolute sweetheart who took orders, ran the cash register, served drinks, etc. Unfortunately, she was stricken with cancer and passed away at the ripe old age of 39. Backporch closed and never reopened.
 
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2. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 10:46 Beamer
 
Peter M. Smith wrote on Feb 1, 2018, 10:36:
After having eaten there a few times, I put Smash Burger in the category of "Trying too hard." They just couldn't figure out how to get "it", like Five Guys did.

Five Guys is all about the toppings. The beef itself is usually bland, overcooked, and dry.

In fairness, fast food burgers kind of need to be overcooked and dry, which is why the squashed types have begun to run wild. I'll take Shake Shack (in Manhattan, ones I've been to elsewhere seemed a bit less ridiculously good) and In-n-Out over Five Guys every single day of the week. There's no comparison as far as taste goes. Of course, no comparison as far as distribution goes, too.

Moving back to NYC was the best burger decision I've ever made. I'd thought I'd had good burgers elsewhere, but man, the quality of the beef here is so far above the other places I've lived. The best place closed, but there's still Minetta Tavern, JG Melon (a bit overrated), Corner Bistro, Gramercy Tavern, etc.
 



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1. Re: Out of the Blue Feb 1, 2018, 10:36 Peter M. Smith
 
After having eaten there a few times, I put Smash Burger in the category of "Trying too hard." They just couldn't figure out how to get "it", like Five Guys did.  
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