Please read the entire post, as it does actually have a possible answer, albeit not one that would happen quickly. The "you're fucked" bit is dependent on whether or not the rest of the town you live in (if you live in one, and not way out where you can't even see your neighbor's house) is ALSO interested in decent high speed Internet/tv.
Also, if your house is half a mile from your neighbor, that pretty much makes you impossible to get good service to with current tech. Everyone wants super high speed Internet, but only where it's monetarily feasable will they do it. Getting fiber 5 miles down a road for one person would cost more than they'd ever make in that customer's entire lifetime of paying for the service.