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User information for Bob Bob

Real Name Bob Bob   
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Nickname BobBob
Email Concealed by request
ICQ None given.
Description Bob Smith
Homepage http://
Signed On Jul 30, 2009, 05:12
Total Comments 2883 (Senior)
User ID 55121
 
User comment history
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
11. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 11, 2016, 19:23 BobBob
 
Someone explain to me this. I have relatives living in Europe, by marriage, that seem compelled to send me articles on American politics. Yet, I could careless about what's happening in their country. Why do they care?  
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
74. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 11, 2016, 16:16 BobBob
 
So Star Trek has ladies in mini-skirts, while Star Wars has lightsabers and furry animals. Hmm ...  
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
48. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 11, 2016, 14:29 BobBob
 
Thank you 1badmf and Sepharo. This is helping me more than I can express. I'm still 'finding my voice' so all this feedback is priceless! Thumbsup

 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
46. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 10, 2016, 02:08 BobBob
 
Okay .. Maybe this is better or worse:

The sun rises in a constant motion. Brilliant light rays are transitorily occluded by motionless clouds; penetrating the translucent white palette; diffracting into a prismatic spectrum of neon purple, red, and orange hues, which subtly blend and envelop the sky. As the sun continues to rise, crepuscular light rays transcend the cloud's boundaries, while a spectrum of opalescent colors begin to diffuse, dissipate, and then fade away. Finally, overcoming the clouds, and superposing a blue sky, the sun's brilliant light rays shine in dominance. The result is a singular color that is most expected of the sunlight - yellow.


Book

This comment was edited on Apr 10, 2016, 02:29.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
45. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 9, 2016, 21:20 BobBob
 
1badmf wrote on Apr 9, 2016, 02:24:
BobBob wrote on Apr 9, 2016, 01:21:
Thank you so much! This is the kind of feedback that is useful! I am going to print your comment for myself and analyze the writing beside it. If there is a way, and you're willing to do so, I can send you more privately, over time.

i would add, ease up on the alliteration. imo it gets distracting from the content behind the words. i did a writing group with a couple of my friends and he abused alliteration like a pharaoh building a pyramid. i tried to tell him the same thing but he was so self-absorbed with his own greatness he bit my head off rather than listen to my criticism, which is the whole point of a writing group no?

anyway, yeah, you have a good vocabulary and your technique is sound. but don't let your ideas get drowned out by your presentation.

Very good input! I appreciate it! Thumbsup
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
37. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 9, 2016, 01:21 BobBob
 
Thank you so much! This is the kind of feedback that is useful! I am going to print your comment for myself and analyze the writing beside it. If there is a way, and you're willing to do so, I can send you more privately, over time.

This comment was edited on Apr 9, 2016, 01:43.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
35. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 9, 2016, 01:13 BobBob
 
Sepharo wrote on Apr 8, 2016, 22:46:
BobBob wrote on Apr 8, 2016, 20:52:
The inescapable light pushes away the surrounding darkness.

The surrounding darkness is pushed away by an inescapable light.

Which phrase sounds better?

Usually "inescapable" is applied to darkness. Though you might be purposefully playing on that by applying it to the light. I think that both constructions, when using "surrounding darkness" and "inescapable light", sort of sound illogical. If the light is inescapable than how is the darkness surrounding? I think I'd go with a different word other than "inescapable" but without the broader context it's hard to say what. Unstoppable, inevitable, incessant (usually neg), penetrating, piercing.

If I'm forced to pick I guess I have to go with the second.

edit: Also the meanings aren't exactly the same the way you have them written there... In the first it's The inescapable light and in the second it's an inescapable light.

Here is the context. He's entering the memories of the dead person. There is an entire story of why he's doing it, but I won't get into that here. The ego of the memory engrams doesn't exist, so there is no he/she/it. Actions are the scripted sequences of the subconscious behavior (go here and there) but description and insight still exist, hence italics. Does that make any sense?

What you'll be reading is just the starting scene of a soon to be epic event. A mild character build-up follows as well.

I'm a super amateur making an attempt at writing, and I'm sure it will show. I hope to get much less wordy over time.

Here's a very rough draft...

Through a tunnel of total darkness, a bright image appears, zooming, enlarging and fully encompassing. The still image starts to animate. Memories, sensations, thoughts and emotions transfuse into the mind. The scene turns into action. Immersion is complete.


Eyes open. Facing the office window. Pull a cord. It opens the blinds. Turn around. Walk across the room. Grab the office chair. Roll it to the edge of the window. Sit down. Back straight. Hands facing down. Palms flat on the legs. Look through and beyond the window, gazing at the silent harbor. Docked in a port, the brightly lit cargo ships appear vividly photographic. Still, and without motion, the shining ships, along with the harbor lights, collectively produce a hazy skyglow, bright enough to reveal a cluster of motionless clouds. Deeper into the darkness across the vast and empty ocean, a brilliant glow starts to illuminate the distant sky. Its source slowly manifests itself: the emergence of a fiery-orange sphere, swelling and rising over the horizon. The inescapable light pushes away the surrounding darkness. The sphere's light rays flash and sparkle upon rippling ocean currents; evolving, as an ensemble of light, forming a contiguous reflection that stretches to the shoreline.

The sky looks organic and thoughtful. The rippling effect of the brilliant sunlight upon the ocean surface is hypnotic, as it glistens and sparkles, drawing ones thoughts into a sense of continuity with nature, and a connection to the primary source of all life on the planet.


The sun continues to rise. Brilliant light rays are transitorily occluded by motionless clouds. A translucent white palette transforms into a dispersion of neon purple, red, and orange, which subtly transfuse, blend and then envelope the sky. Constantly in motion, crepuscular light rays transcend the cloud boundaries, while the neon colors begin to diffuse, dissipate, then fade away. Overcoming the clouds, the brilliant sun rays return in dominance. The result is a singular color that is most expected of the sunlight - yellow.

Always beautiful to watch. Though the entire process looks like the prelude to an alien invasion...

A brief glimpse at the yellow sun. It blazes the morning sky. Powerful circumferential rays outwardly radiate a warm and nurturing energy. A scorching spotlight beams at the center, impossible to stare at. It overwhelms and blinds the vision. Close eyes. Stretch. Absorbing the intense radiating warmth; while a cleansing sensation sweats and heats the skin. A powerful glare penetrates the eyelids. The body jolts. It's a soothing timeless escape. The mind is both blank and full. Shielded by the eyelids, concentrate on the sunlight - the cozying warmth, the flashing and strobing light, the fluctuating shapes and colors; a surreal dimension, absent of thought, full of indefinable imagery, for wherever it goes. However, it's a brief mental trip as darkness ensues.

... and here comes the fog...


Water vapors, incubated at night by the cold and salty ocean, later to be evaporated by a blanket of warm morning air, coalesce and crawl upon the land, turning into fog; further obstructing the newly lit sky. It's a battle of tug-of-war. Rays of sunlight shine through sporadic apertures, only to be obscured by the ever-shifting density of the rolling fog. It continuously morphs the atmospheric brightness - light to dark, dark to light, to dark again.

The fog alternates one's feelings between hope and desperation; imbuing a sense of moodiness. It's a struggle for which the sun will finally win. For now, it's still a bit dark outside.


Walk across the room. Push a dimmer switch. Turn a knob. A low-lit chandelier assists in illuminating the room. It provides a sufficient balance to compensate for the hesitant sunlight.

-----

Does the question make more sense now? Feel free to be brutally honest. Perhaps I just suck at writing and that's fine. I should know that before I spend more time on this kind of thing.

This comment was edited on Apr 9, 2016, 01:18.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
31. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 8, 2016, 21:52 BobBob
 
SimplyMonk wrote on Apr 8, 2016, 21:43:
BobBob wrote on Apr 8, 2016, 20:52:
The inescapable light pushes away the surrounding darkness.

The surrounding darkness is pushed away by an inescapable light.

Which phrase sounds better?

I turned the light on.

But God isn't my protagonist!
 
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News Comments > Evening Metaverse
6. Re: Evening Metaverse Apr 8, 2016, 21:46 BobBob
 
Hmm... Amazon Prime has Man in The High Castle. A brilliant and engaging story by Philip K. Dick. Of course, he was a genius and just about everything he wrote was incredible.  
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
29. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 8, 2016, 20:52 BobBob
 
The inescapable light pushes away the surrounding darkness.

The surrounding darkness is pushed away by an inescapable light.

Which phrase sounds better?
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
68. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 8, 2016, 20:25 BobBob
 
Beat this Star Wars!
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
57. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 8, 2016, 01:30 BobBob
 
Wow. Cool! I just noticed my lens replacement card. My new lenses have UV and blue light protection built in!

Thumbsup
 
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News Comments > DOOM Open Beta Next Week; DLC/Season Pass Plans
28. Re: DOOM Open Beta Next Week; DLC/Season Pass Plans Apr 7, 2016, 14:57 BobBob
 
I've pretty much given up on AAA titles for enjoyment. Cash cows of repetitive and simplified nonsense. Maybe someone will make an indie FPS that hearkens back to the golden era - Duke Nukem, Tribes, QuakeWorld, Quake 3, and derivatives. I've seen attempts but they typically get distracted and add gimmicks. I hope said developer focuses 100% on skill based gameplay. I don't need all the advanced graphics. I'd probably just turn them off anyways.

Still patiently waiting...

 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
30. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 7, 2016, 14:19 BobBob
 
I would like to see a Star Wars story revolving around a scientist or engineer responsible for the space flight technology, light sabers, or droid AI. -- Oh, wait, my bad. Star Wars isn't science fiction.

Hmm... Perhaps a philosopher or theologian deeply discusses the dark and light side; interpreting its impact on life's meaning and the purpose of existence. -- Ah, nope, will confuse the target audience.

How about a Star Wars story about normal person building all those infrastructures or simply living out a day in the life. Showing how the society operates and where it's heading. -- Oh my bad, unless it's a space battle, arena setting, or long drone political speech, the universe doesn't exist in that galaxy far far away.

What's my point?

Star Trek > Star Wars



This comment was edited on Apr 7, 2016, 14:30.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
20. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 7, 2016, 13:33 BobBob
 
Is the blue light filtering a gimmick or is it real? Will we find out in a couple of years that blue light is healthy for sleeping?

I was checking out reading glasses with blue light filters but I noticed that they tend to reflect my eyes back to me. Creepy.

 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
19. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 6, 2016, 18:44 BobBob
 
Never understood the whole celebrity thing. Hollywood feels extremely ghetto and scares me. I avoid that area entirely.  
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
9. Re: Judge rules Porsche not to blame for Paul Walker's death. Apr 6, 2016, 14:01 BobBob
 
I've been tempted to purchase a piece of land in the middle of nowhere but the cold weather and snow would just make me want to die. When I was in Europe the weather was constantly bad. No matter how busy I kept myself, I felt like the world was collapsing. Bad weather is psychologically crushing. Whoever finds a way to control the weather or build dome cities will make for the most drastic quality of life change in human history. Meanwhile, I'll just continue to complain about tourists.  
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News Comments > Oculus Rift Privacy Concerns
49. Re: Oculus Rift Privacy Concerns Apr 4, 2016, 20:42 BobBob
 
I don't want VR. I want a holodeck. Thumbsup  
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
35. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 2, 2016, 14:36 BobBob
 
Eating healthy is good but you also need to move constantly. It's part of why I push myself to take my work to the beaches and parks. It forces me to get on the bike and go. Besides regular home excercise, I usually cycle about 20 to 30 miles (up and down hills and around the peninsula, and along the beach bike paths).

My resting pulse is mid 50'ish; trying to get it lower.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
82. Re: Out of the Blue Apr 1, 2016, 11:29 BobBob
 
I have faith and I don't have faith. It's extremely complicated in my mind. Logic says there must be a creator and another logic refutes it. One is based on the watching of all things, seeming to have a purpose of means - a beginning and an end - yet also without final purpose for it's all just a recycle; and yet, there is a beginning and an end, and there is a creation process. So I'm in a constant state of confusion and bewilderment. I actually hope there is a God (capital G out of respect for believers) because I want this seemingly futile and fleeting existence to have a true purpose, but at the same time eternity negates true purpose because it lacks an ultimate goal. *spin*

I can tell you one thing on a very personal level. If I go to a church, I don't feel God, instead I feel the prying eyes of people critiquing and judging each other. When I sit in the sunlight on the beach, walk through a trail of rustling trees, or watch animals in their natural environments, then I feel "God'. I wonder if that makes me non-religious or something else. I dunno.

This comment was edited on Apr 1, 2016, 11:40.
 
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2883 Comments. 145 pages. Viewing page 11.
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