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User information for Daniel

Real Name Daniel   
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Nickname CJ_Parker
Email Concealed by request - Send Mail
ICQ None given.
Description
Homepage http://
Signed On Feb 11, 2006, 23:49
Total Comments 3701 (Veteran)
User ID 24408
 
User comment history
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News Comments > Torment Stretch Goal Changes
15. Re: Torment Stretch Goal Changes Jan 29, 2017, 16:57 CJ_Parker
 
Jerykk wrote on Jan 29, 2017, 15:56:
If you back a Kickstarter and expect that the release date and stretch goals are part of an ironclad contract, you've already missed the point.

Nope. You just need to read their shitty lies. First sentence on the Torment KS page...

Now it’s up to us to create and deliver the RPG experience we have described, the game you have asked for.

Not much wiggle room in there. It doesn't say "now it's time for us to maybe create and maybe even deliver the RPG experience we might have described, although we reserve the right to make Barbie Adventures instead".

... or specifically under the header "Stretch Goals" it says...

We're putting every dollar raised into Torment's development (and reward fulfillment), while holding true to the pillars we've described. Improvements go beyond what is easily explained in Stretch Goals, but here are some specific ways we'll enhance the game.

Welp, still doesn't say "might" or "maybe" anywhere in there. It even says crazy shit like "holding true" and "pillars" (you know, things that are usually not subject to change).

... or further down the page...

And along these lines we've abandoned the typical developer/publisher model and placed our future in the hands of RPG gamers. We've embraced the crowd in every aspect. YOU are our publisher...and you are the best publisher we've ever worked with!

What a bunch of fucking ass-backwards bullshit. WE are the publisher and THEY get to cancel shit left, right and center? Yup. Sounds legit.

... but it gets even better...

This process allows us to create the games exactly the way you want to see them. There is a purity of development when we can spend 100% of our efforts making the game with an open dialogue throughout the process. We'll start with a strong vision document that details our sensibilities, and from there we'll stay in sync with you, from concept through the execution of the ideas.

L to the O to the L

Finally, check out the Risks & Challenges section. Not a single word about maybe not being able to deliver. Quite the contrary. It is filled with assurances that everything will be awesome and no cuts will have to be made (plus some incredible lies about the schedule in hindsight)...

As you all know, we’re not making widgets—video games are complex projects (not that all widgets are simple). Fortunately, we collectively have more than 80 years of experience in managing them. Given our great progress in developing Wasteland 2, our experience with the technology, and our approach to Torment’s design and production, we are confident in our ability to provide our backers with a quality game deserving of the Torment name.

Torment’s schedule has been designed to maximize both planning (preproduction) and polishing. This extended preproduction period controls costs and increases quality because we’ll have a very well-defined product before production begins. Our target release date of December 2014 allows us 14 months for production and finalization. (In comparison, Wasteland 2 had 12 months, and Mask of the Betrayer had nine.) Furthermore, various systems and tools developed for Wasteland 2 will be used or adapted for Torment, saving development time and budget.

With a longer schedule, you might wonder how we’ll be able to create Torment if it receives less funding than Wasteland 2 did. First, Torment's story is being designed to be highly modular and scalable. This approach not only lets us increase game reactivity and replayability, but it also let us keep the game's scope flexible. At our target funding, we’ll be able to deliver a complete and satisfying game and as funding increases above the target, Torment will continue to grow in depth and size.

So please save your lawyer talk bullshit of "you are just giving them money for a vague idea that might happen or not".

This game is such a massive disappointment. Two decades late, a shitload of cut features, it originally was supposed to come out only on PC, Mac, Linux and now is also a console game (probably no correlation with the cut features at all, no, Sir, of course not), physical CE backers treated like lepers and the list goes on.
Also, lol @ whoever believes this will get a lot of post-release support. It won't. They got a Bard's Tale IV and a Wasteland 3 to "finish" with more cut features.
Even IF some shit still comes out later it's not much of a consolation for the peeps who have been waiting through the two decades of delays and now need to wait longer still for the full game.


P.S.: Some good fun in this thread. Thanks for the laughs!
 
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News Comments > Sunday Tech Bits
1. Re: Sunday Tech Bits Jan 29, 2017, 13:56 CJ_Parker
 
Nice job, MSI. Really intelligent and well tested product design there. Sad thing is the stupid gamer kiddies will still buy into this shit.  
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News Comments > Torment Stretch Goal Changes
1. Re: Torment Stretch Goal Changes Jan 29, 2017, 13:53 CJ_Parker
 
Bwaaahahaha are they sucking ferious??? They delay da game by about two decades and then still deliver only half the shit? Sounds legit ho-humm.  
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News Comments > Saturday Mobilization
8. Re: Saturday Mobilization Jan 28, 2017, 20:46 CJ_Parker
 
afka Rossini wrote on Jan 28, 2017, 19:00:
CJ_Parker wrote on Jan 28, 2017, 18:26:
Ah, yes. The greatest quarterback of all times. 49ers 4ever!!!
At least until next Sunday. As much as I hate to admit it, if Brady wins next week, he'll supplant Montana as number one.

Not possible, dude. There is more to it than statistics and yards thrown and all that shit. There is also personality, presence on the field and charisma. Montana was a one of a kind leader and extremely versatile with nary a weakness. The guy is rightfully a fookin' legend.

Brady is an awesome QB but he ain't Montana. He's also not as versatile and thanks to how football has developed probably way less natural than Montana, i.e. I'm talking about doping. I'm not saying that Montana never did drugs but Brady has access to much better shit these days so Montana's achievements rate higher from a historical perspective.

The same goes for physical therapy and nutrition plans etc.
Everything is just so much more professional these days. Modern QBs have it a lot easier than Montana's generation and still most ain't able to hold a candle to JM's achievements or even if they can and get close, well, there's the insurmountable personality barrier. The modern clowns don't even begin to compare to DA LEGEND!
 
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News Comments > Saturday Mobilization
5. Re: Saturday Mobilization Jan 28, 2017, 18:26 CJ_Parker
 
Ah, yes. The greatest quarterback of all times. 49ers 4ever!!!  
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News Comments > Mass Effect Andromeda Trailers
8. Re: Mass Effect Andromeda Trailers Jan 26, 2017, 21:26 CJ_Parker
 
Cutter wrote on Jan 26, 2017, 20:56:
I was hoping some of the major pubs/devs would take a page from Witcher 3 to learn how to do a CRPG properly, but I guess not.

Of course not. That would mean actual work and investment (both financially and dedication). Why put a lot of effort into something if you can also be lazy, use a popular franchise as bait and still get stellar reviews from bribing all the streamers and reviewers or by simply counting on the fanboi factor?

Almost no matter how mediocre this shit will end up being, it will get 9/10 and 10/10 reviews by default unless it is a complete bug-ridden mess (which it won't be). Why try harder if you can get top scores for mediocrity and laziness?

EA/Bio (and many others) have gotten top scores for mediocre shit for decades by now. No need for actual Witcher-like work and dedication. They just squeeze out the next turd and the money still comes rolling in from all the mouthbreathing fantards...
 
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News Comments > Mass Effect Andromeda Trailers
4. Re: Mass Effect Andromeda Trailers Jan 26, 2017, 20:22 CJ_Parker
 
This has Krogan-sized turd written all over it. Bargain bin buy at best...  
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News Comments > Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire Announced
7. Re: Morning Legal Briefs Jan 26, 2017, 20:11 CJ_Parker
 
Nope. Never again, Obsidian. Y'all broke promises and deadlines left, right and center and delivered a very mediocre product on release that got only a little less mediocre with patches. Fuck your lofty promises bait, your lies and your mediocrity. Not backing this shit.  
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News Comments > Apocalypse Now - the Game Kickstarter
21. Re: Apocalypse Now - the Game Kickstarter Jan 26, 2017, 17:11 CJ_Parker
 
HorrorScope wrote on Jan 26, 2017, 10:59:
Don't blow all your Kickstarter money on this one, we have Pillars of Eternity 2 Kickstarter coming up real quick!

Hahahaha like anyone with half a brain would seriously consider backing more buggy Obsidian garbage!
 
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News Comments > Ghost Recon Wildlands Beta Next Week
9. Re: Ghost Recon Wildlands Beta Next Week Jan 25, 2017, 23:42 CJ_Parker
 
Garbage consolized cover shooter is what this is but no Ghost Recon. Yet another massive abuse of a franchise. Is today "rape a franchise" day or something? Prey, Ghost Recon, Apocalypse Now!... what's next?  
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News Comments > Prey in May
4. Re: Prey in May Jan 25, 2017, 23:34 CJ_Parker
 

Not buying this out of principle over the franchise abuse or at least not for more than a tenner but only if reviews are unanimously through the roof. Looks like a cheap HL clone anyway. An experiment gone wrong and aliens. Wow. How utterly original. Not.
 
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News Comments > Apocalypse Now - the Game Kickstarter
6. Re: Apocalypse Now - the Game Kickstarter Jan 25, 2017, 23:31 CJ_Parker
 
lol@Kickstarter

Fuck that shit!


And lolevenharder@the_dev_cast

Rob Auten has served as a lead writer on video game franchises like Gears of War and Battlefield, as an experience designer for Disney, and as a creative director on several forthcoming VR projects.

^ Yep. That's exactly what that dopehead looks like... like a "lead writer" for GoW and BF (*** LEAD WRITER *** BWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA).

Josh Sawyer is the Design Director at Obsidian Entertainment and is providing external counsel to the team in a special advisory capacity in the area of gameplay design...

^ OK. Those guys are officially fucked. May God have mercy on this game.

This comment was edited on Jan 25, 2017, 23:49.
 
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News Comments > Resident Evil 7 biohazard Released
9. Re: Resident Evil 7 biohazard Released Jan 24, 2017, 14:22 CJ_Parker
 
Bundy wrote on Jan 24, 2017, 14:10:
... so I can crap my pants.

Game about shit confirmed. Thanks, bruh!
 
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News Comments > Resident Evil 7 biohazard Released
4. Re: Resident Evil 7 biohazard Released Jan 24, 2017, 12:43 CJ_Parker
 
HAHAHAHA "biohazard" reminds me of my triple flushing morning dump!

So, is this a game about multi-flushing morning dumps? A game of shit supreme? Who can lay the greatest eggs and all that? Or wut???
 
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News Comments > Diablo III Postmortem
11. Re: Diablo III Postmortem Jan 24, 2017, 02:46 CJ_Parker
 
...and he discusses some of the highlights and lowlights...

The highlight to lowlight ratio with fucking Diablo III is 1:1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
 
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News Comments > etc., etc.
11. Re: etc., etc. Jan 20, 2017, 08:34 CJ_Parker
 
El Pit wrote on Jan 20, 2017, 03:05:
I have just started my first playthrough of vanilla XCOM2 and, maaaan, it is hard! I have not lost any soldiers in the field, but lots of wounded in action, had to hire a new recruit, but now I am already totally underpowered in missions... It seems you have to follow a pretty strict queue of research or you will have to start the whole game again. Sorry, this is not fun to me. I like the missions and that hey are harder and the time pressure is just right, but less pressure outside the missions and a bit more time to develop your teams and armor and guns would be great.


Oooooooorrrrr.... you could simply stop playing like a n00bie n00bpecker!
 
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News Comments > Might & Magic Showdown Early Access
1. Re: Might & Magic Showdown Early Access Jan 19, 2017, 21:30 CJ_Parker
 
The end is nigh.  
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News Comments > Morning Tech Bits
5. Re: Morning Tech Bits Jan 19, 2017, 11:54 CJ_Parker
 
@Slick: Dude, aren't you, like, this competitive FPS player? But you're playing on a TV??? AFAIK, there isn't a single TV out there that comes even close to the shitty LCDs in terms of latency. TV = latency hell, no? WTF bruh?? I thought you were skewling da n00bz on 1337ness or something???!  
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News Comments > Morning Tech Bits
2. Re: Morning Tech Bits Jan 19, 2017, 11:32 CJ_Parker
 
Yep. I am also really looking forward to more spyware, the inevitable reset of privacy settings and to Microsoft reinstalling their fucking store and their retarded shit apps without my consent once again. Can't wait.  
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News Comments > Morning Interviews
33. Re: Morning Interviews Jan 18, 2017, 18:20 CJ_Parker
 
Aaaahhh hullo there, my groupies!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we call "triggered" after a very successful bait dispersal. What a catch! Two in a row!
 
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3701 Comments. 186 pages. Viewing page 11.
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