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User information for Lazarus Long

Real Name Lazarus Long   
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Nickname Burrito of Peace
Email Concealed by request - Send Mail
ICQ None given.
Homepage http://
Signed On Jul 8, 2004, 17:03
Total Comments 2203 (Senior)
User ID 21247
User comment history
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News Comments > Evening Consolidation
7. Top 5 Bad Game Movie-Clips. Dec 17, 2013, 08:11 Burrito of Peace
Is this guy supposed to be funny or just an annoying ass clown?  
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News Comments > On Sale
28. Re: On Sale Dec 15, 2013, 22:52 Burrito of Peace
Jerykk, I have to ask:

Are you genuinely reading what I am saying or are you just knee jerk reacting to people who criticize any 2D game, of which there are several genres, because you're a 2D platformer fanboy who has to white knight that particular genre?

Also, stop changing your tune. You specifically pointed out there were AAA titles available leading up to Christmas releases, which I countered with your own list. Then you backpedal really hard and say "Well, publishers have learned to spread release dates." Honestly, no they haven't. Publishers don't give a fuck about the spread if there's more money to be made in one quarter rather than three others. They'd sell their own mothers in to slavery if it meant catching another $10 dollars in DLC sales. I know, I've worked for two of them. The only reason this Christmas is particularly bleak is because we have a platform generation shift, which I also brought up and you completely and absolutely ignored. You also ignored the fact that it is that dearth of titles that is leading Steam to currently plaster shitty, cheaply done "indie" games wall to wall as their only way to generate new revenue, outside of deeply discounting 2+ year old games or games that were very badly received.

"Are there any 2D platformers you actually enjoy? Please list a few if that's the case. If not, my assumptions remain quite valid."

Your assumptions are never valid because they are just that, assumptions, not fact. That may be hard for you to swallow but it is nevertheless true. As for 2D games that I enjoy, sure, Legends of Grimrock is a 2D game. Moving sprites to simulate 3D doesn't make it so. Since you seem to have a particular hard-on for platformers, I have enjoyed Gravity Guy and Jetpack Joyride. They were fun to waste time on when in long, boring meetings.

Teslagrad, on the other hand, is regurgitated crap with its "hook" being very shallow attempts at object and world manipulation through simulated physics. How do I know this? I downloaded the demo off of Steam! Guess what? It was just as shitty, bland and unremarkable as all the other shitty, bland, unremarkable platformers that are shoveled on to Steam by the hundreds month after month.

Is there anything else in this, or previous posts, that you'd care to ignore while you go tilting at windmills in your white knighting of 2D platform games?
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News Comments > On Sale
24. Re: On Sale Dec 15, 2013, 18:52 Burrito of Peace
Jerykk wrote on Dec 15, 2013, 17:11:
So what it basically boils down to is "I don't like 2D platformers."

No it doesn't. Try again.

Jerykk wrote on Dec 15, 2013, 17:11:
Also, you're making a whole bunch of assumptions about Teslagrad based solely on the fact that it's a 2D platformer.

No, I'm not. You're assuming I've made assumptions. Once more, try again.

Jerykk wrote on Dec 15, 2013, 17:11:
As for the lack of AAA games leading up to Christmas, that's not really true. We have Assassin's Creed 4, Batman: Arkham Origins, Splinter Cell: Blacklist, Saints Row IV, GTA5, BF4, CoD: Ghosts, NFS: Rivals, Rome 2, XCOM: Enemy Within, The Wolf Among Us, Walking Dead Season 2, X: Rebirth, etc.

It's absolutely true. I guess if you make the qualifications broad enough, you can claim that games released in August are titles leading up to Christmas, even though August is in the middle of the summer. Oh, wait, you DID list games that were released in August! Let's look at your list.

  • Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
    Release Date: Oct 29, 2013

    Batman: Arkham Origins
    Release Date: October 25, 2013

    Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Blacklist
    Release Date: August 20, 2013

    Saints Row IV
    Release Date: August 20th, 2013

    Grand Theft Auto V
    Release Date: September 17, 2013

    Battlefield 4
    Release Date: Oct 29, 2013

    Call of Duty: Ghosts
    Release Date: November 5, 2013

    Need for Speed: Rivals
    Release Date: Nov 15, 2013

    Total War: Rome II
    Release Date: Sep 3, 2013

    XCOM: Enemy Within
    DISQUALIFIED. Reason: Expansion packs are not AAA games.

    Disqualified episodic titles as they are nowhere near AAA game status:
    The Wolf Among Us
    Walking Dead

    X: Rebirth
    November 15th, 2013

  • Three titles disqualified right off the bat. Seven titles released during months wherein not even stores are yet pimping Christmas shit. That leaves three whole AAA titles released during the Christmas shopping season. One of which has a reputation so bad that even diehard X veterans aren't buying it! Thank you so very much for going out of your way to list titles that support my statement.

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    News Comments > Saturday Tech Bits
    6. Re: Saturday Tech Bits Dec 15, 2013, 18:34 Burrito of Peace
    I'm afraid that SteamOS is too late to really change the course of PC dynamics. While I understand why it didn't happen, this would have been a real game changer a decade ago.  
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    News Comments > On Sale
    21. Re: On Sale Dec 15, 2013, 09:19 Burrito of Peace
    Jerykk wrote on Dec 15, 2013, 06:45:
    Gameplay is not defined by presentation and to automatically dismiss a game because of its camera perspective is woefully shortsighted.

    I disagree. How entertainment presents itself is its first, last and only chance they get to separate you from your money. People who put in a raft of top shelf parts didn't do so because they want to play yet another 2D side scroller with shitty graphics and shitty audio because some cheap jackass "developer" wants to jerk off to the "glory" days of 8 bit hardware. I'm not running Xeons and Titans because I think it's awesome to pretend like I'm playing the same games as I did more than 20 years ago. The oft used refrain of "Well, it's about the story" is often bullshit as well. Most of the indie games are shit when it comes to quality writing too. They are no better than the same kind of shovelware crap that we saw back in the days of shareware and newsgroups. The only difference now is the Internet has matured, as have content delivery systems, which allows more deluded, talentless hacks to get their shit in front of the eyeballs of more people.

    While I agree that there can be great indie titles, I think they fall under the same statistical breakdown as more expensive AAA titles do. 95% are either derivative or complete crap while the few remaining 5% really stand out because they were a labor of love by some incredibly talented people. Kerbal Space Program, Legend of Grimrock, Lunar Flight and Artemis Space Bridge Simulator (which I grant is a VERY niche title) are all excellent examples of indie games that can and do get it right. However, they all have a very unique hook that grabs their intended audience and drags them in them cheerfully.

    Earlier, Blue reported that Teslagrad had been released. I commented "Yawn. One out of 900 released. Saturated market." 2D side scroller puzzle platformer has, what, a couple of hundred entries now on Steam that all behave exactly the same way? They all do their best to show you just how puzzly and platformy they are but...who cares? What makes your one title standout from the 1066 titles that are currently listed on Steam as indie games? The answer is...NOTHING! Oh, your wacky, off-beat "humor" in your ridiculously generic and samey game is supposed to? Sorry, I saw that in 492 other titles, too.

    Further, Steam lately HAS been making the store awash in indie games but I understand why, not a lot of AAA titles to market when they're all being worked on for the XBox One and PS4. Since those are oft ported to the PC, all Steam has to offer right now is indie games to keep generating income. I haven't seen so few AAA titles for a Christmas release in a long time.

    Finally, I agree with the sentiment of "Enough with the saturation". I don't need to see a news release here or a splash screen on Steam every time a 10 year old farts during a "Let's Make" session with Scratch.
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    News Comments > Steamships Ahoy - Stick it to The Man!
    2. Re: Steamships Ahoy - Stick it to The Man! Dec 14, 2013, 08:13 Burrito of Peace
    I keep reading it as "Stick it in The Man!"
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    News Comments > Ships Ahoy - Teslagrad
    1. Re: Ships Ahoy - Teslagrad Dec 13, 2013, 21:44 Burrito of Peace
    "Teslagrad is a 2D puzzle platformer..."

    Yawn. You and 900 other releases this year. Saturated market.
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    News Comments > SteamOS Beta Released
    2. Re: SteamOS Beta Released Dec 13, 2013, 21:43 Burrito of Peace
    FUCK YEAH! Downloading to install in a VM now.  
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    News Comments > Morning Consolidation
    3. Who's Really Ahead, PS4 or Xbox One? Dec 12, 2013, 10:41 Burrito of Peace
    Who fucking cares? Buy whichever one you like or both. I don't care, I'm not the fucking console police.

    It's shit like that that makes the stupidity of fanboyism even more rampant.
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    News Comments > Fallout 1, 2, and Tactics Free in Winter Sale
    14. Re: Fallout 1, 2, and Tactics Free in Winter Sale Dec 12, 2013, 10:33 Burrito of Peace
    I liked Tactics. I liked the idea of taking raw recruits to the BoS and turning them in to badass Paladin. Paladin Radchek's speech at the opening, found here, was awesome and reminded me of Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann from Full Metal Jacket.

    To me, it was a nice tack away from the now tired "Vault Dweller" opening of every Fallout up until New Vegas.
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    News Comments > SteamOS on Friday
    16. Re: SteamOS on Friday Dec 12, 2013, 09:21 Burrito of Peace
    I'll be trying it tomorrow as well.

    The only reason I have a Windows install is to play games.
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    News Comments > Morning Tech Bits
    22. Re: Morning Tech Bits Dec 10, 2013, 09:47 Burrito of Peace
    Armengar wrote on Dec 9, 2013, 17:08:
    Then you should be taken out and shot for using a 4 drive raid 0

    Fuck that noise. Why else would I have a locally attached 4 bay if not for speed? For data security, you replicate to an iSCSI driven rackmount.
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    News Comments > Morning Tech Bits
    4. Re: Morning Tech Bits Dec 9, 2013, 15:38 Burrito of Peace
    Creston wrote on Dec 9, 2013, 11:32:
    There isn't a single external device out there that maxes a USB 2.0 bus.

    4 bay NAS configured in RAID 0 moving a single 3TB file across a USB 2.0 connection will dime that USB connection and make it cry like a prison bitch.

    Uncompressed video coming in through an external capture rig will saturate a USB 2.0 bus.

    Hell, have enough peripherals attached and functioning all at the same time and you can easily saturate a bus to a fault state.
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    News Comments > Star Lords Early Access
    16. Re: Star Lords Early Access Dec 6, 2013, 17:43 Burrito of Peace
    I will add my own voice of support for Stardrive. I have really enjoyed my time with it and, as LiTh says, it could have more/better/refined features. However, I didn't feel lost in it at all nor did I feel that I got ripped off in any way.

    Also, it is INCREDIBLY mod friendly and there are at least a dozen really good mods available for it. Further, the dev has used two of those mods and rolled them in to the game, after asking permission of the mod creators and giving them full credit.

    Buy it or not, up to you, but one guy with an axe to grind shouldn't be taken as gospel.
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    News Comments > Out of the Blue
    33. Re: Out of the Blue Dec 6, 2013, 15:20 Burrito of Peace
    BobBob wrote on Dec 6, 2013, 12:10:
    Why all the recent foul language in this forum?

    Why the fuck not?
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    News Comments > Star Lords Early Access
    8. Re: Star Lords Early Access Dec 6, 2013, 12:29 Burrito of Peace
    I'm very tempted, after all it's just $20, but the screenshots show that the in-game view is just crammed with assloads of windows of information. That's more a MOO3 thing than MOO2.

    I don't want to handhold every ship captain and squad leader, but I also don't want a glib approach to empire management.
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    News Comments > Evening Tech Bits
    2. Re: Evening Tech Bits Dec 5, 2013, 21:45 Burrito of Peace
    jdreyer wrote on Dec 5, 2013, 21:22:
    Four mons in a 2x2 array MAKES NO SENSE.

    It makes absolute sense if you use multiple monitors for something other than gaming. I run 4 monitors in a 2x2 setup. The bottom two are for all my work. The upper two serve as status boards. iDRAC, CNCM, heartbeat daemon monitor, ad infinitum. All the incredibly useful information I need at a glance. I found constantly scanning left and right in a 4x1 pattern gave me a sore neck and headaches. In a 2x2 scenario, I can just flick my eyes upward and see the information I need.

    I know for a fact that I am far from the only one with this setup and usually for the same reasons. Quick access to vital information as quickly as possible in a natural range of motion.

    The 2x2 monitor setups in the Phoronix article are just fucking horrible, though. Why not just go frameless and be done with it?
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    News Comments > Starbound Beta This Week
    5. Re: RE: Follow up Dec 2, 2013, 08:30 Burrito of Peace
    If only there was the capability to mulithread, cache in memory and perform read-aheads. If only...

    Then again, that would imply there was some effort being placed in to actual production value.
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    News Comments > Saturday Tech Bits
    8. Re: Saturday Tech Bits Dec 1, 2013, 09:58 Burrito of Peace
    Jensen wrote on Dec 1, 2013, 00:00:
    You can put Windows on a Macbook.

    So? The ecosystem is more than just the OS. It's also about the ease of hardware repair and upgrade, too. Apple has always come in last place with that. I think the only laptop to ever score worse than an Apple laptop on CRU was the Dell Latitude 2100.
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    News Comments > Saturday Tech Bits
    5. Re: Saturday Tech Bits Nov 30, 2013, 22:08 Burrito of Peace
    Jensen wrote on Nov 30, 2013, 15:40:
    ...just about any tech site will recommend Apple laptops over any PC laptop.

    None of the objective, honest ones do. Not one of them will recommend a closed, draconian ecosystem over the open standard that is a non-OSX laptop (whether it be Linux or Windows).
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    2203 Comments. 111 pages. Viewing page 41.
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