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User information for Lazarus Long

Real Name Lazarus Long   
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Nickname Burrito of Peace
Email Concealed by request - Send Mail
ICQ None given.
Homepage http://
Signed On Jul 8, 2004, 17:03
Total Comments 2450 (Senior)
User ID 21247
User comment history
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News Comments > Morning Consolidation
3. Re: Morning Consolidation Dec 5, 2014, 22:45 Burrito of Peace
BitWraith wrote on Dec 5, 2014, 09:53:
Man, Elder Scrolls ONline hans't come to consoles yet? I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed and since crashed into a glacier.

Shit, they already rescued Kate Winslet and let James Cameron make a movie about it.
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News Comments > Dying Light Specs Scaled Back
7. Re: Dying Light Specs Scaled Back Dec 5, 2014, 22:39 Burrito of Peace
You know, I've got 32GBs of memory and even I thought the 16GB recommendation was stupidly asinine.

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News Comments > Dying Light Steep Specs Revealed
18. Re: Dying Light Steep Specs Revealed Dec 4, 2014, 21:40 Burrito of Peace
The Half Elf wrote on Dec 4, 2014, 21:34:
Some of us actually LIKED the original 360 controller. Those of us who don't have tiny hands


Only those with the hands of a Frenchman or a little girl liked the S controller.
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News Comments > Game Reviews
25. Re: Game Reviews Dec 4, 2014, 09:01 Burrito of Peace
Wowbagger_TIP wrote on Dec 3, 2014, 22:31:
The combat in DA2 is primarily what killed it for me. Damned enemies just dropping out of nowhere into the middle of your formation all the time pretty much destroyed the idea of tactical combat decisions.

First, thanks to all of you who pointed me in the right direction to getting out of the Hinterlands. I made it to Fallow Mire last night and that was a far more interesting locale. I picked up a nifty axe and a new friend and the veillight beacon puzzle was pretty interesting.

Now, to address that quote...that's still happening in DA:I. One of the things I noticed while stuck in the Hinterlands is that I would be running along and then suddenly BAM...Templars! They would literally just pop-in as they were spawned. Some groups I came across and could see a ways off, which I would expect, but this was obviously a late triggered spawn that threw enemies directly in the middle of my group.
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News Comments > Evening Legal Briefs
3. Re: Evening Legal Briefs Dec 3, 2014, 22:21 Burrito of Peace
As a taxpayer, I'd rather see states cut pork projects, graft, corruption and go back to open public bids instead of giving contracts to their buddies and getting kickbacks.

Once the state government can get its own house in order and stop squandering the tax money it rakes in annually, THEN it can whine and cry about tax revenue from online sales.

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News Comments > Evening Interviews
8. Re: Evening Interviews Dec 3, 2014, 22:18 Burrito of Peace
Iesu Christi! That woman looks like a member of the D-list squad from a seedy strip joint.

If you want to be treated as a professional, you need to present yourself as a professional.
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News Comments > Game Reviews
19. Re: Dragon Age: Inquisition Dec 3, 2014, 22:13 Burrito of Peace
MoreLuckThanSkill wrote on Dec 3, 2014, 20:51:
Based on professional reviews as well as the Bluesnews ones, I feel rather pleased to be waiting for DA:I to drop in price and get some patches, before I drop some coin on it.

Thanks again, early adopters!

Whatever makes your smug ass sleep better at night.
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News Comments > Game Reviews
15. Re: Dragon Age: Inquisition Dec 3, 2014, 14:13 Burrito of Peace
Creston wrote on Dec 3, 2014, 14:00:
It's not the most intuitive system in the world, especially since previous games kind of made you stay in areas and do all the quests since you'd never be able to go back.

Exactly! Which was why I had been toiling in the Hinterlands for so long.
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News Comments > Game Reviews
14. Re: Game Reviews Dec 3, 2014, 14:12 Burrito of Peace
Verno wrote on Dec 3, 2014, 12:37:
It was really shallow/repetitive and the writing was substandard IMO. They had 18 months to make it and it really showed. I never liked how hamfisted the plot setup was for the Mage-Templar conflict but DA:I does a pretty good job with the aftermath here.

I can see your point about the set pieces but my willing suspension of disbelief allowed me to rationalize that I was in and around Kirkwall because the city was under near complete lockdown. As such, I knew I would be running back and forth to Lowtown and whatnot.

I disagree that the writing was substandard. To me, it was no less hackneyed and uninspired than the first one. In the first one you have a rogue Jedi Knight Grey Warden pick up the lone wolf protege to fight the Sith forces of Sauromon Darkspawn before they trigger the Rapture the Apocalypse the end of all humanity humans, elves, dwarves and Qunari. Of course, you have the subplots of King Arthur Alistair being crowned the King of Britain Ferelden and Merlin Flemeth and her daughter Morgan Le Fey Morrigan who, surely by just coincidence, is a constant thorn in the side of Arthur Alistair. Which, of course, is by no means as important as finding The Holy Grain the Ashes of Andraste.

Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed the first two games tremendously but they weren't exactly pinnacles of writing and creativity.

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News Comments > Game Reviews
12. Re: Dragon Age: Inquisition Dec 3, 2014, 13:53 Burrito of Peace
Creston wrote on Dec 3, 2014, 13:45:
The Hinterlands is the tutorial zone. The quests are boring, the monsters are easy, you only have 2 of the most boring party members available (varric becomes better when he doesn't have to try to work off Cassandra and Solas) and it's really not very thrilling.

Unless someone had told me, I didn't know you could bail out of the Hinterlands without fulfilling all the (seemingly) mainline quests thrown at you. One of the first thing that is said is "Help the refugees and establish the Inquisition". This game has done a terrible job of telling you "OK, you're good to go here...move along". Especially when you go back to Haven, meet with the diplomat for example, and they're still talking about things that need to be done where you're already at.

It could just be me, but I got the impression that I was not done with the Hinterlands yet and that I needed to wrap up all the shit I had outstanding there. I'll move along when I get home but, so far, I am deeply unimpressed with this effort.
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News Comments > Target Halts Grand Theft Auto V Sales Down Under
31. Re: Target Halts Grand Theft Auto V Sales Down Under Dec 3, 2014, 13:42 Burrito of Peace
Wraith wrote on Dec 3, 2014, 13:04:
Yeah, the thing is, we banned semi-automatics and cut our gun massacres to zero.

That's because nobody wanted to kill you but you. It's the equivalent of claiming coup on a possum.
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News Comments > Target Halts Grand Theft Auto V Sales Down Under
21. Re: OZ Censorship is on a killing spree Dec 3, 2014, 12:32 Burrito of Peace
This is funny coming from a country where the national pasttime is beating the shit out of each other after drinking far, far too much and screaming insults at each other on the Parliament floor.  
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News Comments > Game Reviews
6. Re: Game Reviews Dec 3, 2014, 12:30 Burrito of Peace
I never really got the hate for DA2. I thought if fit perfectly fine within the DA narrative as a whole. It introduced some great characters and set up the mage-templar war that we're seeing now.  
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News Comments > Game Reviews
4. Re: Dragon Age: Inquisition Dec 3, 2014, 11:50 Burrito of Peace
NegaDeath wrote on Dec 3, 2014, 10:44:

It's a bit of a dumb design that this can happen but they're right, the game gets waaaay better when you leave. You only need to build up 4 "power" to leave.

<Screams in absolute fucking frustration and takes his 9 powered, level 3 Inquistion, level 9 character out of the Hinterlands>

That has go to be the absolute stupidest fucking starting area in any RPG ever, then. The exact OPPOSITE of the games that came prior.
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News Comments > Game Reviews
1. Dragon Age: Inquisition Dec 3, 2014, 09:58 Burrito of Peace
So I picked up DA:I over the Thanksgiving break and...I'm underwhelmed.

The in-game clock says I have about 9 hours of playtime in and I'm just not feeling it like I did with the first two. Cassandra is an absolute pill, Solas is some weird hippie Buddhist wannabe and even Varric seems to have lost his fun, amusing swagger and banter from DA2. I'm still in the Hinterlands, which is fine, but what is up with the quests? They all seem like they're ripped straight from a second tier MMO. Deliver this ring here, drop off this phylactery there, run this cough syrup back to Mom and please mine and loot the shit out of everything in sight because you, and only you, are apparently capable of outfitting this allegedly grand Inquisition army.

What, of the dozens or so people I have seen so far standing around in camps with their thumbs up their ass, NO ONE ELSE IS CAPABLE OF MAKING SOME FUCKING BLANKETS AND TENTS??? "Oh, hey, Herald of Andraste, look I know you're busy and all with closing these generic rift openings which are totes in no way direct ripoffs of the Oblivion Gates at all but I lost my puppy and I have a splinter in my pinky. Can you help me with those?" is absurd. Also, what the actual fuck do I have scouts for if I have to scout locations and set up scout camps?

And then there's the "crafting". Magically, I find "schematics" in pots sitting out in the middle of the wilderness that I have to then take back to a blacksmith who can't apparently forge a fucking thing without me gathering all the raw materials requirements, schematics and then sing him a lullaby before he'll actually make something worthwhile? Why the Hell is he even a blacksmith then? What is he actually smithing? Nails? Hinges? Cute little clasps for his diary?

What am I missing? Right now, this game feels like the worst of the series that was cobbled together out of a failed attempt at an instanced MMO with the DA name on it.

This comment was edited on Dec 3, 2014, 10:19.
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News Comments > Total War: ATTILA Trailer
2. Re: Total War: ATTILA Trailer Dec 3, 2014, 09:31 Burrito of Peace
Here's my problems with the TW franchise as it stands right now:

The engine is still an unoptimized, buggy mess. Even in this video, you can see the stuttering and choppiness and I assume they recorded that on something powered by the tears of Chuck Norris to try and show how pretty it is.

The AI is still fundamentally braindead, no matter how many hundreds of people CA claims to have working on it. In the now "Emperor's Edition" of R:TW 2, the NPCs still make monumentally stupid decisions in both diplomacy and in troop use and deployment in actual battles. Sure, in history there are examples of humans doing the same thing, but in the game itself that's commonplace and expected.

Shogun seems to have been the exception to the rule in terms of recent TW releases but even that pales in comparison to the original Rome and even Medieval 2. Was there a different team that worked on Shogun?

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News Comments > Broken Age Part Two Next Year
12. Re: Broken Age Part Two Next Year Nov 30, 2014, 22:10 Burrito of Peace
Fuck Double Fine. May they crash and burn.  
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News Comments > On Sale
6. Re: On Sale Nov 29, 2014, 13:55 Burrito of Peace
Buy it, play it and then start figuring out how you're going to afford a boat to become a pirate in real life.

Honestly, the AC series never grabbed me until Black Flag. Absolutely worth it. The DLC isn't bad, too. I picked it up on Steam a while back as a bundle deal for $24.99. Steam says I have 500+ hours in it.
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
30. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 26, 2014, 09:59 Burrito of Peace
jdreyer wrote on Nov 26, 2014, 02:36:
Blah blah blah I'm going to completely ignore the fact that technology designed to move people actually kills more than twice as many people in the US as technology that is designed to kill people because it doesn't fit my agenda.

No matter how much you try to muddy the issue, the facts as they pertain to the US remain. Your anti-gun hysteria is just that, hysteria. It has no basis in reality and shows your absolute lack of understanding of firearms, their purpose and their use by rational people.

What you, and most anti-gun people, can never seem to wrap their head around is that crime will exist without legal gun ownership. Those who choose to commit violent crimes will do so regardless of what tools are at hand. Remove one and they'll simply pick another. It will not magically go down, no matter how hard you clutch your skirt or wring your hands.

Unless you've been in a situation where you've had to use a firearm to defend yourself, you're talking through your hat. Clearly Prez has, for example, even though he wishes it wasn't necessary but he understands the reality that criminal actors will act. I, too, have been in a situation where having a firearm on my hip didn't just save my life but also saved my father's and we were on our own property. I didn't feel like Rambo, actually I felt terrible after it was all said and done. Nevertheless, I'm glad I had the legal option of owning, carrying and using a firearm in self defense.
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
25. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 25, 2014, 23:07 Burrito of Peace
jdreyer wrote on Nov 25, 2014, 22:24:
I could go on and on.

Please do, I'm intrigued by your ability to cognitively disconnect from the fact that you are more likely to be killed in an auto accident than by a gun and that there are far more actual and real deaths per year involving automobiles than guns. Source 1. Source 2.

In fact, roughly averaging the numbers across the whole of the nation shows that you are twice as likely to be killed in an auto accident. Data shows that there are apparently a very large amount of gun owners whom are responsible, law abiding citizens whereas a large amount of automobile owners are mouth breathing idiots who can't stop eating, talking on the cell phone or turning around to scream at Junior long enough not to plow in to someone and kill them.

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2450 Comments. 123 pages. Viewing page 38.
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