I'd like to post a comment about the actual post, if I may.
This is the greatest press release ever! The plot summary is fantastic! What a background story! And the character? A trooper of the government army! What depth! What scope! This has never been done before! The premise itself simply boggles the mind! You play a nondescript, generic soldier who has to -get this- KILL ALIEN MUTANTS! With weapons and equipment!
And the features just make my mouth water in vaguely sexual anticipation! There's support of Multiplayer! Do you know what that means? It means lots of people can play together! I can see it now: 16 generic soldiers, all shooting each other with 16 fantastic deadly weapons, in the future of our Universe! It's visionary! And really, who hasn't been craving a game with Terrific 3d action? You just can't find that anywhere else but here! Operation:Matriarchy, people! Probably a poor imitation of an oversaturated genre! Where do I sign up to preorder?
(Following is a transcript of the events leading up to the press release)
Buka(in Russian): Hey, Clyde, we're making this game. It's an FPS, and really it's nothing new, and it doesn't work that well. I don't really like it. Can you write up a press release to hype it up to Americans?
Clyde: Sh*t Buka, another one? I haven't seen Janice in 3 months, and I haven't slept in 2 weeks! Also, the bandaid you told me to put around this compoud fracture is starting to smell funny.
Buka: Shut up, Clyde. OK, it's about... um... it's about aliens. Yah, aliens. They turn all the chicks into mutants. Strong ones. But with big hooters. Think up a cool name for the aliens, Clyde. Yah, so you're this elite trooper guy and you kill the aliens. And you get guns and stuff. OK, go to it.
Clyde: Wait! What about the hook?
Buka: Dude, I just gave it to you! OK, how bout this. We got some multiplayer, but the netcode's kind of funky. Oh, and there's lots of levels. Sammy said 15 or something. More than 15. Oh yah, when you shoot a guy, make that a hideous but still strangely attractive alien mutant girl, when you shoot him... her... in the head, she dies right away. That's new, isn't it? We picked it up from this other game called SiN. Cutting edge stuff. OK, shut up and get to work.