How to get the "tinkle" out of the chamberpot:
"Hold nose", "Reach in chamberpot", "Stop holding nose" (if you omit this last step you will suffocate and the game will make fun of you.
Also in your cell:
"Take hay" to find some moldy bread
What to do in the magistrate's office:
Use the key from the chamberpot to unlock the drawer. Take the map. Leave. The magistrate will confront you. "Talk to magistrate" to get by him.
How to get into the maze:
"Talk to Percy", then go right in
How to get through the maze:
Follow the map instructions. There is one error on the map though. Instead of north twice, you need to do it three times. Don't worry, you won't have a choice. To kill the creatures, attack "middlin", except for the third, which you attack, "high".
How not to die of the plauge:
When you are close to dieing, eat the moldy bread. I believe it resets the plague timer (high fiveth!)
Ok, I'm out of the maze, now what?
That's what I'd like to know. When I go in the infirmery, I just get asked a bunch of strange questions by a satyr playing a sitar and eventually die of the plauge. D'oh!