KREMLINCORP Entertainment announces Stalin vs. Martians 4
, calling this
"a new installment in the highly-acclaimed [sic] Stalin vs. Martians franchise."
This is odd on two levels: One is that a quick look at
shows that the original Stalin vs. Martians was poorly received, and not highly
acclaimed at all. The other is that we don't recall Stalin vs. Martians 2 or
Stalin vs. Martians 3, so we're not sure that this was actually a franchise
before this new announcement, or why it would carry the number 4. A final twist
is that while the original was a simplified real-time strategy game, Stalin vs.
Martians 4 is described as a "hybrid of isometric action and Stalinism."
showing a mecha-Stalin dealing death accompanies the news, saying to
expect this in 2020. Here is
KREMLINCORP Entertainment GmbH proudly announces a new installment
in the highly-acclaimed Stalin vs. Martians franchise. Continue here to read the full story
Stalin vs. Martians 4 is dynamic hybrid of isometric action and Stalinism. This
kind of synergy provides unlimited possibilities for the intricacy of
sophisticated ambivalence of synesthesia. Or whatever. Also there are lots of
explosions and you can shoot people from the rocket launcher.
The game is very narrative-based. Kinda like Firewatch, but, you know, better.
It is also very cinematic. So we intend to provide a stable, very cinematic rate
of 24 frames per second... Oh, wait. Okay, maybe more if the audience expects a
certain digital fidelity in this field.
Planned features for Stalin vs. Martians 4:
- Giant Stalin riding a giant mech.
- You can kill Martians (and they can kill you).
- Physics-based destruction of environment. A bit
like Katamari Damacy, but in reverse.
- Lots of weapons. Like railgun that shoots...
- Our trademark intermissions.
- The best soundtrack ever.
- Actual gameplay.
The game may also feature nudity if we'll be able to find someone