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The Incredible But True Story of Christopher Robin Incubus

 

The Incredible But True Story of Christopher Robin Incubus
February 16, 2001
by jason "loonyboi" bergman

(As told to Jason "loonyboi" Bergman by Clive Barker)

loonyboi: There's a story about you that I've been trying to find out the truth behind for about ten years now. Every time I've heard it, it's been one of those "friend of a friend" type things, so I've started to think it's an urban legend. There's a story that says you were at a signing in New York, and one of your fans sliced open their hand, held it out to you and you signed your book in his blood.

Clive Barker: Here's what happened. It's important you get the facts right. I was at Forbidden Planet [a comic book, sci-fi and horror store in New York city], it was raining very hard, and I had a huge crowd. [The signing was for] a Simon & Schuster book, so it was perhaps the Damnation Game...no, it was a Putnam book. A fellow comes up to me, a very good looking young man, so I noticed him. And he was very wet. He was wearing a T-shirt soaked to the skin, and he had beautiful tattoos on his arms. And I said, "those are beautiful." Oh, I know what the book was, it was Cabal - and he gave me Cabal, so it was Simon & Schuster. And he passed it over to me and said, "could you sign this" and I said "yes" and "who should I sign it to?" He said, "would you sign it to Christopher Robin Incubus." Which should have given me a clue right there.

Anyway, I looked up at him and said, "those really are wonderful tattoos." He looked down as I signed and said, "this is for you." I looked up and he took a straight razor and he cut open his tattoos. And my security men had already gone because we'd been signing for four hours. And my loving fans...fled. I was sitting here at the table and Christopher Robin Incubus was standing with a razor and blood pouring out of his arm. I said, "do you want that in your book?" He said, "yes." So I took his arm, and I put my hand [on it]. There was blood right there, and I gave him a huge Clive Barker hand print in his book. I signed it, and the medics took him away.

There is a follow-up: he appeared again at another signing, even more tattooed than he had ever been before. He came up, he didn't have a book, looking a little older, but still looking good. And took my hand, and kissed the inside of my palm and left. And that's the true story.

 



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