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July 28,1999 -- Previous Mailbag
Letters are edited
for spelling errors only (occasionally), and may contain profanity. Commentary
by Jason "loonyboi" Bergman.
Who says we suck?
Subject: Sucking blows
Just a small note concerning
this piece of news
Vampire Preview [Blue-7:36 AM EDT]
Thresh's FiringSquad's Vampire: The Masquerade Preview is up, looking
Nihilistic's upcoming third-person action/adventure game where the
suck, the better you are.
Of course I couldn't
keep from chuckling after reading it (he said suck, heh-heh-heh),
but it isn't entirely accurate. In Vampire universe, the more blood
you suck (particularly if you suck a man dry) the less of a human
and more of a monster you become. Which is considered bad. So, even
in Vampire, the more you suck the more you suck. There's no way
around it :-).
Woah. Dude, that sucks.
ever lovin' end.
Subject: Not Quite The End
this is definitely nitpicking of some stripe, but I
just couldn't let id be maligned for bad endings without
One of the things added during one of the very early
Quake II patches was the ending sequence. I had already
played all the way through to the horrible "The
End" screen, but when I read that they had added
the real ending, I set the map to the last level, defeated
the boss again, and viola! Ending sequence. It's a shot
of the escape pod landing on some planet (Stroggos?)
in rocky terrain, and a hand emerging from the wreckage.
Not bad, especially for id.
that's what I get for playing through the game before
the point release, eh? :)
why didn't I think of that?
You know, if you
printed the telephone number for looney's phone company on your
site.. they'd probably have his ISDN turned on in a few hours
right. Oh well...it was turned on eventually, at least. :)
- the real definition.
Subject: Halo Interview
You know what "halo"
means to a military guy? High Altitude Low Opening - This is when
you jump out of a plane at really high altitude, over 30,000 feet,
and rocket towards the ground like a meat rocket, and open your
chute only a 1000 feet up. Come to think of it, that would make
a great scene in a military game.
- the actor?
Subject: Quake 2 N64 commercial
I recently saw the
n64 quake 2 conmmercial, and I swear John Carmack is in it,
although I can't be sure with out some sort of credits of which
I've been unable to locate, but then I'm not the web surfer
that you or Loony are. maybe it really is John, maybe not. Perhaps
you want to look into this one just for kicks.
I couldn't find
anything about the commercial, but hey...did you know that Carmack's
listed in the Internet
Movie Database as "miscellaneous crew" on Quake?
Furthermore, Quake's got its
own page, which lists Romero
as "Production Designer" on the game. Weeeird.
James G Sheldrew
Subject: Female DEMOS
Where is Kornelia? Were
are all the other chicks, dammit? I like looking through a chick's
Dudes left and right. Is there an explanation?
DEMOS DEMOS DEMOS!!
Subject: Please Do Not Post Trash!
Your page is informative and usually is chock full of great stuff.
But Please!!!!....Don't post downloads like "Absolute Terror".
That was the most pathetic excuse for a game I have ever seen! It
almost makes me wonder if there was another motive to install the
demo. Terrible Terrible stuff.
words about Mortyr.
Paul R Wendt Jr
Subject: FPS -- sometimes new is not better
This is a message regarding
Mortyr in particular, but some others actually come to mind. Think,
avid gamers, back to the wonderful days of Wolfenstein ... killing
nazi's blah blah, the whole nine yards. Now think of the 3d environments
that Quake offered. Now think about pretty graphics in current id
games. What Mortyr has done is combined all three ... and I mean
combined all three. There is not one scrap of new material here
whatsoever. Actually, I wondered if this were an official id port
because just about everything matched id's style. The levels of
difficulty ... they almost perfectly match id's humor "little
kids and grandmas" etc. There are more details, but it's 430
am and I'm getting tired. As I sat there, playing that internet
demo, I was laughing to myself, saying "this is the worst game
I've ever played".
The basic theme for the
first demo level is [from what I've seen] kill the guard with the
key and get it to unlock the door. Other than that, the first level
is completely linear. At least Unreal had REALLY great graphics
... this game doesn't even really have that. I'm not an id-nut;
in fact, one of the games I'm playing right now is Descent 3 ...
but come on, people enough is enough.
The AI looks like it
was ripped from Wolfenstein too.... The sad part is, with the FPS
genre becoming so popular [ie: moneymaking], I think this is just
the latest development in an ongoing trend that will dilute the
market with crummy games. For the record [and possible rebuttals
for some of you Mortyr fans] I fully enjoy what id has done so far
with Q3Test. I'll buy Q3 based off of what I've seen so far; I can't
say the same of Mortyr.
was only during the day yesterday that I realized that
> and not Q3ATest.
I thought you were doing it on purpose... :)
our Blue, ladies and gentlemen. Quite a goofball, ain't
Subject: oh, shit, I *really* didn't need that
in Outcast are somewhat anatomically correct
>(your ostrich like riding animals have large and
>and further into the game I have heard hints that
>will be explored.
*really* hope there's no connection here...
Subject: Romero Sucks it Down
know why Romero lost? He makes 3d games. Chris Taylor
not only created Total Annihilation but he also wrote
a book on strategy in Total Annihilation as well as
a book for strategy games in general. Aoe II being a
strategy game, Romero had no chance.
but we still can get a kick out of it, can't we? :)
Subject: Do not make fun of the Irish!
Sunday is not something to be mocked...
just assume you're referring to the "Sinday,
Bloody Sinday" anniversary. As much as
I love to offend people, I can't take credit
for that one - it was a promotional thing that
Activision cooked up to promote the Sin demo
whole lot of PS.
Subject: "Scratch and Win"
"Scratch and Win" ad's you
have at the bottom of your pages (middle
of your main news page) are evil. Every
time I see one, I have to "scratch"
it. When I'm done scratching it, it
goes to the darn page! The stop button
is useless against it. It just keeps
Also, when I'm loading the main news
page, my browser freezes up for a couple
of seconds while it loads the Java classes
necessary to display the ad. That's
not good at all.
A de-fragmentation of my HD would remedy
this, but doing that takes forever.
I think a solution that everyone would
benefit from would be to put sex banners
up instead of all those fancy ad's.
Because we all know that Blue's News
is really a sex site disguised as a
video game site.
PS: Something else that's similar to
the current system and might also work
would be to put up "Scratch and
Sniff" banners. Of course, then
we'd have to be able to transfer digital
smells via the Internet.
PPS: I think Al Gore (Tree-Face) is
trying to invent a system like that.
PPPS: I like cherries.
PPPPS: I'm going to go back to using
my Brain Wave program (www.bwgen.com).
PPPPPS: Does loonyboi wear Fruit of
the Loom undies?
PPPPPPS: When my spell checker (Microsoft)
came to the word "undies"
above, it suggested "nudies."
true, that banner is too much fun. I'll
admit to scratching it every time I
see it as well, although for some reason
I'm able to scratch it without clicking
on it, so I don't get forwarded to a
different page when I'm done. Which
of course, makes Blue horribly jealous,
since we're both using the same browser
(IE5) but he can't seem to do it.
Wing Chun (VR) tonight?
Subject: mailbag fodder
time I see that new Unreal engine
game, Extreme Wing Chun VR,
that you mentioned today, I
always see the words Extreme
Wang Chung VR instead.
I suppose some one will need
to do a Q3A powered Flock of
Seagulls. Mmmm, just imagine
the shader work that can be
done on the hair. But of course
we'll need to see a Lithtech2
engine under the hood of Men
Without Hats. "We can frag
if we want to.."
least it wasn't Vogon poetry...
Alaric G. Weigle
pop culture reference
in the mailbag!?!
it's the answer to life,
the universe, and everything!
what was the question?
some little pip-squeak
figured out actually
works under base 13.
which Douglas Admas
replied: "You have
far, far to much time
on your hands."
Douglas Admas signed
my copy of Mostly Harmless
"We apologize for
can call it a pop culture
reference if you like,
but if you ask me, The
Hitchhiker's Guide to
the Galaxy (the complete
series) is a canonical
work of literature.
My hope is that by the
time my kids go through
school, the people who
decide these things
will have replaced Beowulf
(quite possibly the
most horrid piece of
literature I've ever
read) with the works
of Douglas Adams.
sucks? (Think I see a running
ZDNet and Quicktime
Expo in both
is because ZDNet
sucks. All of
for this event
DEATH TO MICROSOFT
Real Audio and
Player are both
Long Live Quicktime!
- A Mac User
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