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Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday

The Lucasartsgames Twitter Feed indicates LucasArts has an announcement planned for Monday (thanks GamingShogun/VG247). Though one of these tweets mentions this will be "awesome news for our old school fans," the most recent post clarifies that "It doesn't have to do with any specific intellectual property..." Here are the relevant updates:

Amazing news coming Monday! Super excited! You have no idea how tough it is not to start yelling about it! But it's secret! Until Monday!

I don't want to tease, it is just tough not to say anything! I might be tempted, however. Have to think about it over the weekend. ;)

Okay, we will do hints. It is awesome news for our old school fans. (anything more direct might get me in trouble)

Monday, early, actually. I suppose if the president of the company messages me to leak it I would. Til then, it is teasing. Sorry guys.

@TTU_VAPOR It doesn't have to do with any specific intellectual property...

View
40. Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Jul 4, 2009, 19:36 CJ_Parker
 
OK. That's it. Cut.

To all of you fine folks who believe that this might have something to do with the X-Wing series, I have an announcement to make. You are idiots. Yes. Idiots. And I don't mean your regular type of idiot but really huge motherfucking morons, y'know?

So with the pleasantries out of the way, let's get serious for a minute.
Exactly how likely do you think it is for a company that for the last decade has been at the forefront of kiddie games, family friendliness and appealing to the mainstream to publish a space sim when the genre hmmm... well, well, well, let's just say is not really exactly alive, let alone kicking? Right. Veeeeery likely. NOT.

Secondly, OK, sure, let's kick some shrooms, some booze, and hit the pipe, too, and then let us imagine they actually did an X-Wing, well, what the fuck do you think would the game turn out to be like? Weeelll? THX, baby. The audience is listening...
Yeah, right. You think it would be a sim with a realistic flight model, manageable shields, engines, energy, foldable wings and all that good old school stuff, right? Wrrrroooonnng.
Aw man. Shit. We forgot to sober up after that shroom, booze and crack trip, didn't we?

So let's sober up, get real and face the depressing facts. I hope we all do realize that a modern cross-platform X-Wing would be dumbed down so bad that anyone who is a fan of the old games would insta-suicide. Come on.
You really think they would even have as much as a Y-axis in the game? Fucking forget about it! It could ooohhh... make people motion sick and hey we can't have that since we are in gay ass LucasArts family friendly let's hold each other by the penis land.

In summary you should hope and pray that this is in fact NOT an X-Wing announcement (as we explored above the chances are minimal at best anyway). Unless, of course, you are a masochist who is totally into seeing their childhood (or young adult) memories get fucked in the ass. Then LucasArts may be just the gig for you. I'd buy lube in preparation for Monday though. This could end up rough.

 
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  1. Jul 4, 11:43 Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Surf
  3. Jul 4, 11:51  Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Fantaz
  6. Jul 4, 12:13  Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday CJ_Parker
  9. Jul 4, 12:45  Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Tavil
  12. Jul 4, 13:33   Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Beamer
  14. Jul 4, 13:35    Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday AnarKane
  31. Jul 4, 17:11    Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Z9000
  64. Jul 5, 12:12     Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Beamer
  66. Jul 5, 12:31      Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Z9000
  67. Jul 5, 14:29       Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Beamer
  86. Jul 6, 13:01        Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Z9000
  87. Jul 6, 13:30         Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Beamer
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  19. Jul 4, 13:55  Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Brubold
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  34. Jul 4, 18:08  Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Madoc Owain
  38. Jul 4, 19:00  Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Keith
  39. Jul 4, 19:16   Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday MMORPGHoD
>> 40. Jul 4, 19:36   Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday CJ_Parker
  46. Jul 4, 21:30    Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Rosco
  47. Jul 4, 21:35     Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Blatz
  48. Jul 4, 21:46      Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Prez
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