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The Cake is a Lie

As noted here, The Valve Store now offers the promised plush Weighted Companion Cube as well as new Aperture Labs Mugs and such. Actually offered, as they have apparently already sold out of all the cubes that first emerged through the Vital Apparatus Vent. I'm making a note here: huge success.

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41 Replies. 3 pages. Viewing page 1.
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41. Re: Dorks Dec 17, 2007, 10:50 shul
 
If you think LIFE is cool, wait for LIFE 2.0

I hear Orielly's are saying its the next big thing

 
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40. Re: No subject Dec 17, 2007, 09:33 kanniballl
 
I still think the mug should read:

We do what we must...
Because we can



This comment was edited on Dec 17, 09:33.
 
"Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you."
-Fry, Futurama
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39. Re: No subject Dec 17, 2007, 08:44 Ecthelion
 
Getting gold would be a LOT more impressive if people had to actually figure out how on their own. As it is, there are walkthrough videos for all of them that dictate exactly how to do it. That removes at least half the challenge.
I wasn't aware of that, but I guess I should have expected as much. You're right - that does make the achievement less impressive.

Well, I can at least say that I beat the few Challenge Maps I did without using walkthroughs. But it took me forever even to get that far with them. I blame FPS games - they've made my brain have trouble with "real" puzzles.

 
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38. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 20:16 Evil Timmy
 
MacD, with the way every datacenter works, you've always got the option of temporarily expanding your bandwidth, and generally hardware services as well, whether you're paying per TB transferred or just bumping up general capacity. It doesn't help that everyone's trying to download and authenticate in the same 5-15 minutes (and seeing those stats would be very interesting), but for such a huge event, you'd think they could cough up for extra capacity, even for 24 hours. The first experience people who've pre-paid and pre-loaded should have is clicking New Game and enjoying, not repeatedly authenticating.

Think about it like an RSVP-only birthday party: if you've got 30 people expected to show up, you don't say "Well, since some people will leave early, there'll only be an average of 20 people for the day, so I'll just get 20 chairs." That leaves people standing around, pissed off. No, you borrow chairs from your neighbors, or go buy some more. Valve is famous for their detailed stat tracking and insight into how people interact with their games, so why can't that apply to their service as well?

I was a moderator for the (then) HL2Fallout forums on launch day for HL2, and the whole staff went into crisis mode. Of course, people who were playing weren't on the forums complaining, but the authentication delays combined with the cache problems (I was part of that ~20% that had a screwy preload, ended up talking with Erik Johnson on the phone and sending a copy of my cache to help them fix it) meant that all the glowing reviews were posted right alongside tales of waiting hours or days to be able to play what was supposed to be available to the whole world in the same instant. They've improved their launches quite a bit since then, but I also don't think they've had that big of a launch since.

Also, I wanna plushie! I wish Valve had a physical store in Seattle, I'd get some relatives to send me one. Oh well, I guess my Fuzzy Companion Mammals (cats) will have to do for snuggling and puzzle-solving this Christmas.

 
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37. No subject Dec 16, 2007, 17:28 cronik
 
Argghh, level 18 advanced is a nightmare!

 
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36. Re: Dorks Dec 16, 2007, 17:19 Brian
 
I can't play LIFE yet. I need to upgrade.

 
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35. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 16:50 Skoll
 
That last one was pretty damn hard, but if you really want a huge E-Penis you need to beat the Challenge Maps. I got Bronze on 3 or 4 and Silver on one of them and gave up. I wonder how many people have actually gotten Gold on all of them.

Getting gold would be a LOT more impressive if people had to actually figure out how on their own. As it is, there are walkthrough videos for all of them that dictate exactly how to do it. That removes at least half the challenge.

You still have to put in the time to get it perfectly right, but I don't really find that very impressive. It's like teaching your dog to toss a biscuit off his nose and into his mouth. It takes lots of repetition, but it doesn't make your dog any smarter than you.

http://www.bandega.com - Never miss a show again
 
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34. Re: Dorks Dec 16, 2007, 15:59 Jonny5
 

STFU... I work 50 hours a week and workout 5 days a week... Currently I am dating 3 differnet woman , and I have time to game. Fuck you, your just bitter because your moms computer cant run any decent games.

 
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33. Dorks Dec 16, 2007, 15:42 Surf
 
Give me a break. Go outside and check out this new game guys called LIFE.

 
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32. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 14:26 Enahs
 
For all you companion cube lovers, get my GreaseMonkey alternating logo script. The current one in rotation (which, yes I know has been in rotation too long) is of the Companion Cube!



Alternating Logo (GreaseMonkey script):
http://www.ualr.edu/szsullivan/scripts_/BluesNewslogo.user.js
 
Avatar 15513
 
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- W. C. Fields
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31. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 14:22 Hump
 
i went to the store the other day and found these games on the shelf and i took all 3 and put them on the ground and then jumped and stomped on them and they all broke cause they suck sooo bad! AHHAHAHAHAA

yeah, we all saw your first post that no one responded to. We get it, your the "edgy" rebel troll. OH NOES! watch out for that guy, he's a NUT!!

douchebag.

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I am a Blues Nazi.
 
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"Both the “left” and the “right” pretend they have the answer, but they are mere flippers on the same thalidomide baby, and the truth is that neither side has a clue."

- Jim Goad
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30. No subject Dec 16, 2007, 13:52 Mundinator
 
SOLD OUT!!! I'm sad!

 
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29. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 13:22 Tony!!!
 
Well said Cutter. So Snuggly.  
-Tony!!!;)
my 360 user name is Robo Pop
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28. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 13:21 Cutter
 
Am I the only one who thinks the plush cubes are stupid? Why plush? Why not just a 4" tall plastic paperweight? It would look like the same material used in the game, and actually retain its cube shape, which the plush ones do not do at all.

Because plush is cuddly, and we love the Companion Cube! We wanna' love it, and hug it, and kiss it, and never let it go. So much better plush than cold, hard plastic.


"Grab a napkin, homie. You just got served."
- Wolowitz
 
Avatar 25394
 
"The South will boogie again!" - Disco Stu
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27. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 12:40 Buttercup
 
Am I the only one who thinks the plush cubes are stupid? Why plush? Why not just a 4" tall plastic paperweight? It would look like the same material used in the game, and actually retain its cube shape, which the plush ones do not do at all.

Anything under 14oz is a waste of a trip to the coffee pot.

That's why you put a portal under the coffee pot, and one next to your mug. "A trip to the coffee pot?" Come on. Get your head in the game.

 
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26. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 11:45 Beamer
 
Yeah...I hope Valve continues to push new IP's. Portal was fantastic.

Portal's kinda only half a new IP.
 
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25. No subject Dec 16, 2007, 11:44 zirik
 
am i the only one who wants a life like full sized plastic alyx blow up doll?

 
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24. And threw each piece into a fire Dec 16, 2007, 11:35 Brian
 
While the entire Orange Box was excellent, Portal stands head and shoulders above it all. It's easily one of the best PC titles every made, in my opinion. GLaDOS and the WCC will live in my heart for years to come. And while I'm usually very cynical about game merchandising, I will *proudly* buy myself an Aperture Science mug. "We do what must because we can." :-)

 
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23. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 10:58 Tumbler
 
Maybe because it's a good, unhyped, and innovative game. Like the old days.

Yeah...I hope Valve continues to push new IP's. Portal was fantastic.

Ending Song on Portal:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjGfgV7rJHI
 
99gamers.com-Game trading site, PC digital trading!
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22. Re: No subject Dec 16, 2007, 10:40 Sepharo
 
That last one was pretty damn hard, but if you really want a huge E-Penis you need to beat the Challenge Maps. I got Bronze on 3 or 4 and Silver on one of them and gave up. I wonder how many people have actually gotten Gold on all of them.

I got gold on all the "least amount of portal" challenges. Hell I even beat one with less portals than the gold required. My e-penis was dangling out my pant leg that day.

 
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41 Replies. 3 pages. Viewing page 1.
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