In a situation that reminds me of an old Peanuts comic where someone offers Linus a substitute for his missing blanket and he screams back: "Would you give a starving dog a rubber bone?," I'm pretty sure that the coffee I made this morning is decaffeinated. As you can imagine, this is a fairly frightening situation... hey, maybe I can get the Red Cross to consider this a disaster... after all, they do tend to bring coffee and donuts when they show up. Okay, maybe a trip to the store would be more appropriate, but far less dramatic.

Link of the Day: Hacked! Thanks Whiskey and Ogreboy. Pretty scary, huh kids? Requires MSIE.
Bonus Link: Guys Keyboard. First Qwerty, Then Dvorak, Now Fazekas. Thanks Frottage.
Story of the Day: Robber Swallows Stolen Diamond. Thanks theAntiELVIS. I'd like to read that search warrant.
Bonus Story: Backstreet Boy Nick Carter Busted! Thanks Jaxx. No, don't get your hopes up... crimes against music aren't actually enforceable.
Weird Science: Setting Sail on a Giant, Floating City, with word on the Freedom Ship. Thanks Elvis. Just another step towards the future predicted in Snow Crash.
Weird Science II: Cloned Sheep Dolly Develops Arthritis. Thanks [MP] Wolverine [MP].
Wild Science: Liar, Liar, Eyes on Fire. Thanks again [MP] Wolverine [MP].