Verno wrote on Jun 4, 2012, 12:54:
Have some kids then we'll talk about it. It's really easy to armchair quarterback parenthood without having a grasp on the complexity involved. Vague childhood memories often don't take into account all of the early life lessons and acting out. I know because I did it for a long time too :)
I've been with women who've had kids and they were the reason it didn't work out. Anytime I tried to instill discipline into the kid they'd get all overprotective. So, I'd see at that point it would never work and split. Those kids are going to grow up a mess. I know I was a good kid because my parents and relatives tell me so and my dad was very strict and by extension mom, because even if I tested the boundaries with her all she had to say were those magic words 'Wait till your father gets home.' and I'd be sitting up and flying right in a heartbeat.
I was like you three years ago before I met my GF and her daughter. All I can tell you is that it's a totally different thing than what you think it is and it's incredibly challenging. Discipline isn't a universal solution, in fact often times discipline can feed into attention seeking behavior and cause a child to develop a complex. The fact that you jumped on that told me you have no children because every kid is different. Some respond really well to discipline and some act out more and have to be manipulated/coaxed in a different way.
I disagree. Unless there is something seriously medically wrong with a child than no. For a normal kid all you have to do is apply operant behavior techniques, same as dogs. That's what I was implying with the Ubu line. My bud I mentioned, doesn't have to yell at his kids or even lift a hand he just has to play alpha with them - consistently, as others have said and we all agree on that point. He condemns bad behavior and rewards the good. It's not rocket surgery.
I get where you're coming from because for much of my life I passed judgment on others parenting. You see a video with an annoying child on a plane and assume shitty parent. Hey, maybe the parent is an idiot. Often times though you don't get the background and context, that's all I'm saying. It is a whole different ballgame in person, some kids are just bratty despite your best efforts and need to grow out of it. It's a guy thing to think that we can fix everything but some things just take time and patience. I say that as someone who is known for being pretty strict in our household by the way.
As someone who works in the service industry with the public all the time I constantly get to see those differences in good and bad parents. And it always comes down to the parent. Like eraser said, I've always said the same thing, if I had my way reproduction would be licensed by the state. Some people think I kid when I say that but I'm deadly serious. Far too many people out there breeding that shouldn't be - not even taking into account how bad overpopulation is and how much worse it's going to get. Soylent Green will be a reality one day soon at this rate - thay is is the species survives the resource wars.
"The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip." - Henny Youngman