Yaogun wrote on Oct 28, 2011, 14:02:
For those of you, like Eldaron, who complain that gay people need thicker skin or "more balls" to deal with slurs, I wonder how much of your thick skin isn't so much thick as untested. I submit that it takes WAY more "balls" to live in this world as a non-white or non-straight or non-male person than most of us white dudes will ever have. It also takes "balls" to stand up for yourself when you know you'll get shouted down, as the gay community did here.

As a white dude in this society it's so easy to look around and say "well, none of this affects ME, so it must not be a problem." I'm just as guilty of this as y'all, or at least I was. I too used to get on message boards (or usenet pre-1993 - yes I'm old) and explain to everyone at length how they were wrong, how they had no right to be offended. "I'm a white man who will never face your problems, so let me tell you how you should deal with them." I hope I never said anything as hopelessly privileged as "black people don't have to deal with racism anymore," but I wouldn't put it past my early-20s-self.

As the years went by I started to realize just how privileged and ignorant I was. The truth is we straight white cis-gendered dudes will NEVER have to put up with what gay people, black people, women, etc. deal with on a daily basis. I also realized a little empathy toward my fellow man isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It's not like one group getting treated better means my group gets treated worse. It's not a zero-sum game. A rising tide lifts ALL boats. It doesn't affect me directly if gay people get some respect, but I care because maybe it'll be important for my son, grandchildren, students, etc.