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User information for Daniel

Real Name Daniel   
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Nickname CJ_Parker
Email Concealed by request - Send Mail
ICQ None given.
Description
Homepage http://
Signed On Feb 11, 2006, 23:49
Total Comments 1575 (Pro)
User ID 24408
 
User comment history
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News Comments > Dragon Age: Origins Delay
1. Re: Dragon Age: Origins Delay Aug 8, 2009, 11:59 CJ_Parker
 
Let the whiny bitching commence...

 
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News Comments > Ubisoft's Anti-Piracy Plans
73. Re: Ubisoft's Anti-Piracy Jul 28, 2009, 17:26 CJ_Parker
 
I don't really give a shit. I just hope they're going to fuck pirates in the ass. Like real hard. No lube style with a 12 inch boner. You know... with wide open eyes and screams of agony and all that jazz. That'd be fun. For me at least .

 
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News Comments > Dark Salvation Now Available
14. Re: Dark Salvation Now Available Jul 28, 2009, 17:21 CJ_Parker
 
lol@Quake3 engine

 
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News Comments > SOE Cuts
10. Re: SOE Cuts Jul 18, 2009, 13:10 CJ_Parker
 
I was making a genuine request for help to confirm I calculated right. What's your problem?

Dude, lighten up. You gotta admit that it was a pretty fucking retarded question to ask given the fact that... a) as I said, the mathematical problem could easily be solved by elementary school students due to its complete lack of complexity and b) calculators are kinda common these days, ya know, and unless you're posting to Blue's from some seriously weird pure command line OS there is an excellent chance that your OS has a built-in calculator, too!
So the answer to your question was most likely just a couple mouse clicks and a few keystrokes away and certainly a lot less effort even than creating that post of yours. But hey we all have our little dumbass moments some time so iz no big deal. Don't worry about it, pal.

 
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News Comments > SOE Cuts
3. Re: SOE Cuts Jul 17, 2009, 22:10 CJ_Parker
 
If my math is right 5% of 41 would mean they had 820 employees. So now they have 779. Can someone confirm?

Yeah, I can confirm that your math is right. Here. Have a cookie, son. I'm pretty damned proud of you that you mastered the 3rd grader's art of percentage calculation. Impressive!

 
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News Comments > RAGE Teaser Site
15. Re: RAGE Teaser Site Jul 13, 2009, 17:31 CJ_Parker
 
HAHA CATFIGHT U SLUTS!!!11!

 
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News Comments > Command & Conquer 4 Announced
11. Re: C&C4 Announced Jul 9, 2009, 18:37 CJ_Parker
 
Fuck you EA you fucking liars.

I give it 2 years before we see another iteration of this tired and overdone series.

Fuck you Sempai you stupid fuck. Read what they actually said... "bringing the [...] Tiberium series to an epic conclusion". The keyword here is Tiberium series.
Of course, they are not going to stop making C&C games. They are only going to stop making PC-exclusive C&C games within the context of the Tiberium series or universe.
But you bet your ass that they have very detailed plans to bring the next C&C generation to consoles and probably not just stratgey games but also new console-centric action games like Renegade and stuff like that.

PC-exclusive C&C in the Tiberium universe is over though. They're not lying about that at all.

 
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News Comments > Free The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall
9. Re: Free The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfal Jul 9, 2009, 18:20 CJ_Parker
 
Bugginess aside, Daggerfall is in my top 5 list of all-time favorite games

That's like saying "Fugliness aside, Roseanne Barr is in my top 5 list of all-time hottest chicks I've ever seen".

Dude, get real. Daggerfall is one big bug. It's a big, fat, retarded bug in and of itself. It's easily among the five worst games I have ever had the misfortune of playing. I wouldn't touch this free download with a 10ft pole. It's a complete waste of bandwidth.

 
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News Comments > Dragon Age: Origins Trailers
4. Re: Dragon Age: Origins Trailers Jul 9, 2009, 00:45 CJ_Parker
 
A very talented Bioware person once said, ME is going to be the last console focused Bioware game.

Where? Link?

I truly hope they were right, though it was said before ea performed their Hostile takeover of Bioware.

The takeover was not hostile by any stretch of the imagination. Get a fucking clue and learn to read stuff on teh intarwebs before posting more retarded bullshit. kthx.

Dumbass.

 
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News Comments > Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday
40. Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Jul 4, 2009, 19:36 CJ_Parker
 
OK. That's it. Cut.

To all of you fine folks who believe that this might have something to do with the X-Wing series, I have an announcement to make. You are idiots. Yes. Idiots. And I don't mean your regular type of idiot but really huge motherfucking morons, y'know?

So with the pleasantries out of the way, let's get serious for a minute.
Exactly how likely do you think it is for a company that for the last decade has been at the forefront of kiddie games, family friendliness and appealing to the mainstream to publish a space sim when the genre hmmm... well, well, well, let's just say is not really exactly alive, let alone kicking? Right. Veeeeery likely. NOT.

Secondly, OK, sure, let's kick some shrooms, some booze, and hit the pipe, too, and then let us imagine they actually did an X-Wing, well, what the fuck do you think would the game turn out to be like? Weeelll? THX, baby. The audience is listening...
Yeah, right. You think it would be a sim with a realistic flight model, manageable shields, engines, energy, foldable wings and all that good old school stuff, right? Wrrrroooonnng.
Aw man. Shit. We forgot to sober up after that shroom, booze and crack trip, didn't we?

So let's sober up, get real and face the depressing facts. I hope we all do realize that a modern cross-platform X-Wing would be dumbed down so bad that anyone who is a fan of the old games would insta-suicide. Come on.
You really think they would even have as much as a Y-axis in the game? Fucking forget about it! It could ooohhh... make people motion sick and hey we can't have that since we are in gay ass LucasArts family friendly let's hold each other by the penis land.

In summary you should hope and pray that this is in fact NOT an X-Wing announcement (as we explored above the chances are minimal at best anyway). Unless, of course, you are a masochist who is totally into seeing their childhood (or young adult) memories get fucked in the ass. Then LucasArts may be just the gig for you. I'd buy lube in preparation for Monday though. This could end up rough.

 
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News Comments > Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday
6. Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Jul 4, 2009, 12:13 CJ_Parker
 
Well, if it isn't related to a specific IP then maybe it's related to all of them in a way? So maybe they are going to unveil something like a GOG.com service for LucasArts games, i.e. a platform where you can buy and download all of their classic games ready to run on XP and Vista machines? That's what "no specific IP" sounds like to me.

Edit: @Dev - Dude, couldn't you have posted a few seconds later? Now I am the one who looks like a retarded parrot!

This comment was edited on Jul 4, 2009, 12:15.
 
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News Comments > Two Worlds II Announced
1. Re: Two Worlds II Announced Jul 3, 2009, 12:03 CJ_Parker
 
Ladies and Gentlemen, here we are. The winner in the category of "Games that never really needed a sequel" iiiiiiiiiiissssss...

 
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News Comments > StarCraft II LAN Dropped Due to Piracy
125. Re: SC2 LAN & Piracy Jun 30, 2009, 17:26 CJ_Parker
 
There will be a server emulator probably during beta, let alone retail so no idea what you think this is accomplishing CJ.

Well, what it is accomplishing so far is some pretty long ass threads on teh intarwebs (including this one here), some cute online petitions and generally just some good old drama queenage. And I have a stiffy. Seriously. So I'd say it's accomplishing quite a lot in terms of personal amusement for myself at least. Keep it up, guys (no pun intended as for that stiffy ofc hahaha)!

 
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News Comments > StarCraft II LAN Dropped Due to Piracy
123. Re: SC2 LAN & Piracy Jun 30, 2009, 17:17 CJ_Parker
 
In all honesty, I love Blizzard for this awesome move. They are giving all of you torrenting assfucks the big ole finger of love with no gloves and no lube on. I can't stop laughing at all the silly little whining bitches who act like a bunny that just got whacked between the ears. This is comedy gold. Now next thing I hope is that they announce the same for Diablo 3. Or some really harsh DRM at least to piss even more of you thieving fuckers off. That'd be fun beyond any recognition! MWWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 
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News Comments > On Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood Race Relations
8. Re: On Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood Ra Jun 30, 2009, 11:05 CJ_Parker
 
Seriously? Should I just leave mature topics to other sites at this point?

You have come to this realization very quickly. I mean in cosmic terms anyway .

On topic: Sorry to add to the perceived lack of maturity but any consideration of racial issues is in fact "really fucking stupid" as poster no. 1 pointed out quite eloquently. Do we really need big, fat disclaimers in video games from now on that can not be skipped so when you launch a game it says "FICTIONAL CONTENT - ANY SIMILARITY TO PERSONS LIVING OR DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL". Do we really? For frickin' video games? Puhlease...

But you know what? Actually we do. We really fucking do because of all the fucktard kiddies who will gobble up all the shit from those WW2 games or a game like CoJ: BiB and base their entire historical knowledge of those conflicts just on these games instead of their history class or aaarrrgghhh... *blasphemy alert* BOOKS.
You know what? They should make non-skippable history lessons a requirement to watch before you play a game about WW2 or the Civil War (or any other historical crap).
You know, like hide the serial number in screens that are only shown for half a second during the video lesson, and if you miss one, well, tough then you're just going to have to watch it all again.
OK, cool. So how do we prevent people from plugging their ears? Simple. Half of the 96-digit serial number will be given to you via the half second screens and for the other half there'll be a Kermit voice in the background whispering a letter at random intervals. Man, I got it all figured out don'cha think?

Yeah. You may from now on call me 'God' for this true masterplan. No, really. Don't mention it. I'm full of awesome and practical ideas like that.

 
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News Comments > Op Ed
5. Re: Op Ed Jun 26, 2009, 12:30 CJ_Parker
 
ya let me bounce ma balls in ya face and I'll show u how many ways there are!!!11 BWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 
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News Comments > Anno 1404/Dawn of Discovery Preorders
5. Re: Anno 1404/Dawn of Discovery Preorder Jun 20, 2009, 22:39 CJ_Parker
 
I don't know why they'd suddenly add ultra-restrictive DRM for Anno 1404.

You don't know why? A simple look in the mirror is your answer, pal. Ubi have probably found out the hard way by less restrictive DRM on the titles you mentioned that thieving assholes like yourself are hurting them more than more restrictive DRM so there ya go.

 
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News Comments > Evening Tech Bits
2. Re: Intel's new Core branding Jun 19, 2009, 22:18 CJ_Parker
 
This shit is uber-retarded. Every few months these assclowns announce an initiative to simplify their naming/numbering scheme and then... this kinda COMPLETE SHIT happens?!? WTF?? I'm not worried 'bout myself as I'm informed enough to tell a real (socket 1366) i7 from a "fake" i7 (socket 1156) but how the FUCK do they come up with this utter SHIT? OK, guys. Sure. Please feel free to make it as confusing as FUCK for us customers but PLEASE at least stop them feeble attempts at lying to us about how your all new naming scheme is making it oh-so much easier for consumers because this kind of SHIT is achieving FUCK ALL in that regard. What a complete bunch of fucktards. You'd think that at some point they'd really get a clue and agree on a transparent, consumer friendly scheme. Like in the good old days where we had a P5-60, P5-90, P5-100, P5-120, P5-133, P5-150, P5-166, P5-200 and so forth (OK, the fact that some of these had a 60MHz and some a 66MHz FSB was semi-confusing, too, but it was by far not as bad as having different sockets and features like i5 vs i7). Anyway, we're a decade past P5-200 and despite numerous promises and attempts absolutely NOTHING has changed or improved. Just plain sad...

 
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News Comments > Game Reviews
3. Re: Arcania Jun 15, 2009, 09:56 CJ_Parker
 
Gone are the times where you actually had to block, dodge and time your attacks.

WTF are you even talking about? The Gothics have always had a very basic and simplistic combat system. Dodging was never even an option. In none of the games. An option or a key to dodge just plain never existed in any of the Gothic games. Are you on drugs?
And blocking, while at least an option, was just a massive waste of time that only a complete n00b would have made use of. I never used it on any of my numerous replays of the Gothic games (cuz I am in fact not a n00b).
Seriously, attacking with well timed, quick left/right blows has always been much more effective as you could basically put your opponent in a stun-lock that way. There are videos of people who went to kill the black troll (for those who don't know that's one of the most powerful beasts in Gothic 2 NotR) in NotR with just left/right swinging as newbie characters on level 1. You can easily get through all three games just using two keys in combat.
Feel free to praise the classic Gothics for all sorts of good shit and I will very likely agree with you since they are (among) my most favorite games ever but a complex or intricate combat system has never been a trademark of the series. Combat has in fact always been one of the few weak points of the series.

 
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News Comments > Max Payne 3 Details?
32. Re: Max Payne 3 Details? Jun 11, 2009, 12:08 CJ_Parker
 
The fact that Max is bald and pudgy worries me more than a cover system.

What worries me even more is that all you tards are so severely limited in your thinking. Now imagine if Max would actually *GAAASSSSPPPP* change appearance during the course of the game and turn from a fat, bald Max Payne into a... well, OK, he's probably not going to grow hair but into a physically fit Bruce Willis "Die Hard" type of dude. I'd say that's a definite possibility and would add a nice creative touch to the game. Maybe getting rid of his addiction and fighting drug lords is even going to be a central element of the gameplay and story. You know like this one Rocky movie when Rocky was fat and totally out of shape and then struggled his way back to the top. With what has been revealed here, I have a hunch that MP3 will be heavily borrowing from that kind of theme.

 
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1575 Comments. 79 pages. Viewing page 43.
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