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User information for Daniel

Real Name Daniel   
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Nickname CJ_Parker
Email Concealed by request - Send Mail
ICQ None given.
Description
Homepage http://
Signed On Feb 11, 2006, 23:49
Total Comments 1508 (Pro)
User ID 24408
 
User comment history
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News Comments > Free The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall
9. Re: Free The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfal Jul 9, 2009, 18:20 CJ_Parker
 
Bugginess aside, Daggerfall is in my top 5 list of all-time favorite games

That's like saying "Fugliness aside, Roseanne Barr is in my top 5 list of all-time hottest chicks I've ever seen".

Dude, get real. Daggerfall is one big bug. It's a big, fat, retarded bug in and of itself. It's easily among the five worst games I have ever had the misfortune of playing. I wouldn't touch this free download with a 10ft pole. It's a complete waste of bandwidth.

 
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News Comments > Dragon Age: Origins Trailers
4. Re: Dragon Age: Origins Trailers Jul 9, 2009, 00:45 CJ_Parker
 
A very talented Bioware person once said, ME is going to be the last console focused Bioware game.

Where? Link?

I truly hope they were right, though it was said before ea performed their Hostile takeover of Bioware.

The takeover was not hostile by any stretch of the imagination. Get a fucking clue and learn to read stuff on teh intarwebs before posting more retarded bullshit. kthx.

Dumbass.

 
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News Comments > Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday
40. Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Jul 4, 2009, 19:36 CJ_Parker
 
OK. That's it. Cut.

To all of you fine folks who believe that this might have something to do with the X-Wing series, I have an announcement to make. You are idiots. Yes. Idiots. And I don't mean your regular type of idiot but really huge motherfucking morons, y'know?

So with the pleasantries out of the way, let's get serious for a minute.
Exactly how likely do you think it is for a company that for the last decade has been at the forefront of kiddie games, family friendliness and appealing to the mainstream to publish a space sim when the genre hmmm... well, well, well, let's just say is not really exactly alive, let alone kicking? Right. Veeeeery likely. NOT.

Secondly, OK, sure, let's kick some shrooms, some booze, and hit the pipe, too, and then let us imagine they actually did an X-Wing, well, what the fuck do you think would the game turn out to be like? Weeelll? THX, baby. The audience is listening...
Yeah, right. You think it would be a sim with a realistic flight model, manageable shields, engines, energy, foldable wings and all that good old school stuff, right? Wrrrroooonnng.
Aw man. Shit. We forgot to sober up after that shroom, booze and crack trip, didn't we?

So let's sober up, get real and face the depressing facts. I hope we all do realize that a modern cross-platform X-Wing would be dumbed down so bad that anyone who is a fan of the old games would insta-suicide. Come on.
You really think they would even have as much as a Y-axis in the game? Fucking forget about it! It could ooohhh... make people motion sick and hey we can't have that since we are in gay ass LucasArts family friendly let's hold each other by the penis land.

In summary you should hope and pray that this is in fact NOT an X-Wing announcement (as we explored above the chances are minimal at best anyway). Unless, of course, you are a masochist who is totally into seeing their childhood (or young adult) memories get fucked in the ass. Then LucasArts may be just the gig for you. I'd buy lube in preparation for Monday though. This could end up rough.

 
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News Comments > Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday
6. Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Jul 4, 2009, 12:13 CJ_Parker
 
Well, if it isn't related to a specific IP then maybe it's related to all of them in a way? So maybe they are going to unveil something like a GOG.com service for LucasArts games, i.e. a platform where you can buy and download all of their classic games ready to run on XP and Vista machines? That's what "no specific IP" sounds like to me.

Edit: @Dev - Dude, couldn't you have posted a few seconds later? Now I am the one who looks like a retarded parrot!

This comment was edited on Jul 4, 2009, 12:15.
 
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News Comments > Two Worlds II Announced
1. Re: Two Worlds II Announced Jul 3, 2009, 12:03 CJ_Parker
 
Ladies and Gentlemen, here we are. The winner in the category of "Games that never really needed a sequel" iiiiiiiiiiissssss...

 
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News Comments > StarCraft II LAN Dropped Due to Piracy
125. Re: SC2 LAN & Piracy Jun 30, 2009, 17:26 CJ_Parker
 
There will be a server emulator probably during beta, let alone retail so no idea what you think this is accomplishing CJ.

Well, what it is accomplishing so far is some pretty long ass threads on teh intarwebs (including this one here), some cute online petitions and generally just some good old drama queenage. And I have a stiffy. Seriously. So I'd say it's accomplishing quite a lot in terms of personal amusement for myself at least. Keep it up, guys (no pun intended as for that stiffy ofc hahaha)!

 
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News Comments > StarCraft II LAN Dropped Due to Piracy
123. Re: SC2 LAN & Piracy Jun 30, 2009, 17:17 CJ_Parker
 
In all honesty, I love Blizzard for this awesome move. They are giving all of you torrenting assfucks the big ole finger of love with no gloves and no lube on. I can't stop laughing at all the silly little whining bitches who act like a bunny that just got whacked between the ears. This is comedy gold. Now next thing I hope is that they announce the same for Diablo 3. Or some really harsh DRM at least to piss even more of you thieving fuckers off. That'd be fun beyond any recognition! MWWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 
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News Comments > On Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood Race Relations
8. Re: On Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood Ra Jun 30, 2009, 11:05 CJ_Parker
 
Seriously? Should I just leave mature topics to other sites at this point?

You have come to this realization very quickly. I mean in cosmic terms anyway .

On topic: Sorry to add to the perceived lack of maturity but any consideration of racial issues is in fact "really fucking stupid" as poster no. 1 pointed out quite eloquently. Do we really need big, fat disclaimers in video games from now on that can not be skipped so when you launch a game it says "FICTIONAL CONTENT - ANY SIMILARITY TO PERSONS LIVING OR DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL". Do we really? For frickin' video games? Puhlease...

But you know what? Actually we do. We really fucking do because of all the fucktard kiddies who will gobble up all the shit from those WW2 games or a game like CoJ: BiB and base their entire historical knowledge of those conflicts just on these games instead of their history class or aaarrrgghhh... *blasphemy alert* BOOKS.
You know what? They should make non-skippable history lessons a requirement to watch before you play a game about WW2 or the Civil War (or any other historical crap).
You know, like hide the serial number in screens that are only shown for half a second during the video lesson, and if you miss one, well, tough then you're just going to have to watch it all again.
OK, cool. So how do we prevent people from plugging their ears? Simple. Half of the 96-digit serial number will be given to you via the half second screens and for the other half there'll be a Kermit voice in the background whispering a letter at random intervals. Man, I got it all figured out don'cha think?

Yeah. You may from now on call me 'God' for this true masterplan. No, really. Don't mention it. I'm full of awesome and practical ideas like that.

 
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News Comments > Op Ed
5. Re: Op Ed Jun 26, 2009, 12:30 CJ_Parker
 
ya let me bounce ma balls in ya face and I'll show u how many ways there are!!!11 BWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 
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News Comments > Anno 1404/Dawn of Discovery Preorders
5. Re: Anno 1404/Dawn of Discovery Preorder Jun 20, 2009, 22:39 CJ_Parker
 
I don't know why they'd suddenly add ultra-restrictive DRM for Anno 1404.

You don't know why? A simple look in the mirror is your answer, pal. Ubi have probably found out the hard way by less restrictive DRM on the titles you mentioned that thieving assholes like yourself are hurting them more than more restrictive DRM so there ya go.

 
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News Comments > Evening Tech Bits
2. Re: Intel's new Core branding Jun 19, 2009, 22:18 CJ_Parker
 
This shit is uber-retarded. Every few months these assclowns announce an initiative to simplify their naming/numbering scheme and then... this kinda COMPLETE SHIT happens?!? WTF?? I'm not worried 'bout myself as I'm informed enough to tell a real (socket 1366) i7 from a "fake" i7 (socket 1156) but how the FUCK do they come up with this utter SHIT? OK, guys. Sure. Please feel free to make it as confusing as FUCK for us customers but PLEASE at least stop them feeble attempts at lying to us about how your all new naming scheme is making it oh-so much easier for consumers because this kind of SHIT is achieving FUCK ALL in that regard. What a complete bunch of fucktards. You'd think that at some point they'd really get a clue and agree on a transparent, consumer friendly scheme. Like in the good old days where we had a P5-60, P5-90, P5-100, P5-120, P5-133, P5-150, P5-166, P5-200 and so forth (OK, the fact that some of these had a 60MHz and some a 66MHz FSB was semi-confusing, too, but it was by far not as bad as having different sockets and features like i5 vs i7). Anyway, we're a decade past P5-200 and despite numerous promises and attempts absolutely NOTHING has changed or improved. Just plain sad...

 
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News Comments > Game Reviews
3. Re: Arcania Jun 15, 2009, 09:56 CJ_Parker
 
Gone are the times where you actually had to block, dodge and time your attacks.

WTF are you even talking about? The Gothics have always had a very basic and simplistic combat system. Dodging was never even an option. In none of the games. An option or a key to dodge just plain never existed in any of the Gothic games. Are you on drugs?
And blocking, while at least an option, was just a massive waste of time that only a complete n00b would have made use of. I never used it on any of my numerous replays of the Gothic games (cuz I am in fact not a n00b).
Seriously, attacking with well timed, quick left/right blows has always been much more effective as you could basically put your opponent in a stun-lock that way. There are videos of people who went to kill the black troll (for those who don't know that's one of the most powerful beasts in Gothic 2 NotR) in NotR with just left/right swinging as newbie characters on level 1. You can easily get through all three games just using two keys in combat.
Feel free to praise the classic Gothics for all sorts of good shit and I will very likely agree with you since they are (among) my most favorite games ever but a complex or intricate combat system has never been a trademark of the series. Combat has in fact always been one of the few weak points of the series.

 
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News Comments > Max Payne 3 Details?
32. Re: Max Payne 3 Details? Jun 11, 2009, 12:08 CJ_Parker
 
The fact that Max is bald and pudgy worries me more than a cover system.

What worries me even more is that all you tards are so severely limited in your thinking. Now imagine if Max would actually *GAAASSSSPPPP* change appearance during the course of the game and turn from a fat, bald Max Payne into a... well, OK, he's probably not going to grow hair but into a physically fit Bruce Willis "Die Hard" type of dude. I'd say that's a definite possibility and would add a nice creative touch to the game. Maybe getting rid of his addiction and fighting drug lords is even going to be a central element of the gameplay and story. You know like this one Rocky movie when Rocky was fat and totally out of shape and then struggled his way back to the top. With what has been revealed here, I have a hunch that MP3 will be heavily borrowing from that kind of theme.

 
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News Comments > German Violent Game Ban?
15. Re: German Violent Game Ban? Jun 6, 2009, 18:38 CJ_Parker
 
The number 1 reason for this ban is that we got elections coming up in September 2009 and that the recent amok run of Winnenden is still fresh on people's minds (where a 17 year old shot 15 people and himself). This ban is an easy way for our politicians to prove that they are able to act and not just talk. Even stricter gun laws are also in the making. This video game ban is just a small part of a post-Winnenden public care package. It probably also helps that players of violent video games are in the vast minority or simply not old enough to vote.

 
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News Comments > German Violent Game Ban?
5. Re: German Violent Game Ban? Jun 6, 2009, 17:40 CJ_Parker
 
Regress of freedom par excellence. Actually it fits quite good into the other shit thats going on in Germany right now. Some people even compare it to the time when the nazis established similar restrictions and such comparisons arent even that far fetched anymore...

What a dumb comment. I am German and I have absolutely no idea what that "other shit" is that you are referring to. And I don't think there are words to describe just how utterly retarded the Nazi comparison is.

 
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News Comments > German Violent Game Ban?
4. Re: German Violent Game Ban? Jun 6, 2009, 17:35 CJ_Parker
 
but it will have to be edited cos Barbie likes wears her short skirt & low cut tops.

What part of "violent" did you not understand? You can show as much tits and ass in German games, on German free TV and in German magazines as you like. This ban is about violence and gore, not nekkid chiXX.

 
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News Comments > 3D Realms Denies Buyout Offer
2. The horse is dead, Jim May 16, 2009, 13:44 CJ_Parker
 
[DEAD HORSE]

Sick of this life
Not that you'd care
I'm not the only one with
whom these feelings I share


Nobody understands, quite why we're here
We're searchin' for answers
That never appear


But maybe if I looked real hard I'd
I'd see your tryin' too
To understand this life,
That we're all goin' through
(Then when she said she was gonna like
wreck my car...I didn't know what to do)


Sometimes I feel like I'm beatin' a dead horse
An I don't know why you'd be bringin' me down
I'd like to think that our love's
worth a tad more
It may sound funny but you'd think by now
I'd be smilin'
I guess some things never change
Never change


I met an old cowboy
I saw the look in his eyes
Somethin' tells me he's been here before
'Cause experience makes you wise
I was only a small child
When the thought first came to me
That I'm a son of a gun and the gun of a son
That brought back the devil in me


Sometimes I feel like I'm beatin' a dead horse
An I don't know why you'd be bringin' me down
I'd like to think that our love's
worth a tad more
It may sound funny but you'd think by now
I'd be smilin'
I guess some things never change
Never change


I ain't quite what you'd call an old soul
Still wet behind the ears
I been around this track a couple o' times
But now the dust is startin' to clear
Oh yeah!!!


Sometimes I feel like I'm beatin' a dead horse
An I don't know why you'd be bringin' me down
I'd like to think that our love's
worth a tad more
It may sound funny but you'd think by now
I'd be smilin'
Ooh yeah, I'd be smilin'
No way I'd be smilin'
Ooh smilin'


Sick of this life
Not that you'd care
I'm not the only one
With whom these feelings I share

 
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News Comments > Mass Effect 2 Movie
17. Re: Mass Effect 2 Movie May 16, 2009, 08:31 CJ_Parker
 
Hey, this is Blues... any flaw in the game means it's HORRIBLE, not even worth $20, and deserves to be pirated.

Yeah, unless it's a Blizzard or BioWare game. Bio and Blizz could piss and poop these assclowns in the face and they'd still say it's just raining milk and honey from the heavens above.

 
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News Comments > Light of Altair Demo
1. Re: Light of Altair Demo May 11, 2009, 11:15 CJ_Parker
 
lolz @ ze graffiX  
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News Comments > DNF Footage?
5. Re: DNF Footage? May 10, 2009, 12:51 CJ_Parker
 
boobs

This message was edited on May 10, 2009, 12:42.

Dude?!? WTF?!? Did you seriously make a typo spelling "boobs" or what was that editing for?

As for the footage that looks like generic shooter garbage and not like something that should've taken them years. They also should have evolved the gameplay and the character of Duke and not just have made a DN3D clone. Finally they should just STFU and die and quit leaking. It's fucking disgusting.

 
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1508 Comments. 76 pages. Viewing page 40.
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