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User information for Lazarus Long

Real Name Lazarus Long   
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Nickname Burrito of Peace
Email Concealed by request - Send Mail
ICQ None given.
Description
Homepage http://
Signed On Jul 8, 2004, 17:03
Total Comments 1856 (Pro)
User ID 21247
 
User comment history
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News Comments > Game Reviews
1. Dragon Age: Inquisition Dec 3, 2014, 09:58 Burrito of Peace
 
So I picked up DA:I over the Thanksgiving break and...I'm underwhelmed.

The in-game clock says I have about 9 hours of playtime in and I'm just not feeling it like I did with the first two. Cassandra is an absolute pill, Solas is some weird hippie Buddhist wannabe and even Varric seems to have lost his fun, amusing swagger and banter from DA2. I'm still in the Hinterlands, which is fine, but what is up with the quests? They all seem like they're ripped straight from a second tier MMO. Deliver this ring here, drop off this phylactery there, run this cough syrup back to Mom and please mine and loot the shit out of everything in sight because you, and only you, are apparently capable of outfitting this allegedly grand Inquisition army.

What, of the dozens or so people I have seen so far standing around in camps with their thumbs up their ass, NO ONE ELSE IS CAPABLE OF MAKING SOME FUCKING BLANKETS AND TENTS??? "Oh, hey, Herald of Andraste, look I know you're busy and all with closing these generic rift openings which are totes in no way direct ripoffs of the Oblivion Gates at all but I lost my puppy and I have a splinter in my pinky. Can you help me with those?" is absurd. Also, what the actual fuck do I have scouts for if I have to scout locations and set up scout camps?

And then there's the "crafting". Magically, I find "schematics" in pots sitting out in the middle of the wilderness that I have to then take back to a blacksmith who can't apparently forge a fucking thing without me gathering all the raw materials requirements, schematics and then sing him a lullaby before he'll actually make something worthwhile? Why the Hell is he even a blacksmith then? What is he actually smithing? Nails? Hinges? Cute little clasps for his diary?

What am I missing? Right now, this game feels like the worst of the series that was cobbled together out of a failed attempt at an instanced MMO with the DA name on it.

This comment was edited on Dec 3, 2014, 10:19.
 
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News Comments > Total War: ATTILA Trailer
2. Re: Total War: ATTILA Trailer Dec 3, 2014, 09:31 Burrito of Peace
 
Here's my problems with the TW franchise as it stands right now:

The engine is still an unoptimized, buggy mess. Even in this video, you can see the stuttering and choppiness and I assume they recorded that on something powered by the tears of Chuck Norris to try and show how pretty it is.

The AI is still fundamentally braindead, no matter how many hundreds of people CA claims to have working on it. In the now "Emperor's Edition" of R:TW 2, the NPCs still make monumentally stupid decisions in both diplomacy and in troop use and deployment in actual battles. Sure, in history there are examples of humans doing the same thing, but in the game itself that's commonplace and expected.

Shogun seems to have been the exception to the rule in terms of recent TW releases but even that pales in comparison to the original Rome and even Medieval 2. Was there a different team that worked on Shogun?

 
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News Comments > Broken Age Part Two Next Year
12. Re: Broken Age Part Two Next Year Nov 30, 2014, 22:10 Burrito of Peace
 
Fuck Double Fine. May they crash and burn.  
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News Comments > On Sale
6. Re: On Sale Nov 29, 2014, 13:55 Burrito of Peace
 
Buy it, play it and then start figuring out how you're going to afford a boat to become a pirate in real life.

Honestly, the AC series never grabbed me until Black Flag. Absolutely worth it. The DLC isn't bad, too. I picked it up on Steam a while back as a bundle deal for $24.99. Steam says I have 500+ hours in it.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
30. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 26, 2014, 09:59 Burrito of Peace
 
jdreyer wrote on Nov 26, 2014, 02:36:
Blah blah blah I'm going to completely ignore the fact that technology designed to move people actually kills more than twice as many people in the US as technology that is designed to kill people because it doesn't fit my agenda.

No matter how much you try to muddy the issue, the facts as they pertain to the US remain. Your anti-gun hysteria is just that, hysteria. It has no basis in reality and shows your absolute lack of understanding of firearms, their purpose and their use by rational people.

What you, and most anti-gun people, can never seem to wrap their head around is that crime will exist without legal gun ownership. Those who choose to commit violent crimes will do so regardless of what tools are at hand. Remove one and they'll simply pick another. It will not magically go down, no matter how hard you clutch your skirt or wring your hands.

Unless you've been in a situation where you've had to use a firearm to defend yourself, you're talking through your hat. Clearly Prez has, for example, even though he wishes it wasn't necessary but he understands the reality that criminal actors will act. I, too, have been in a situation where having a firearm on my hip didn't just save my life but also saved my father's and we were on our own property. I didn't feel like Rambo, actually I felt terrible after it was all said and done. Nevertheless, I'm glad I had the legal option of owning, carrying and using a firearm in self defense.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
25. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 25, 2014, 23:07 Burrito of Peace
 
jdreyer wrote on Nov 25, 2014, 22:24:
I could go on and on.

Please do, I'm intrigued by your ability to cognitively disconnect from the fact that you are more likely to be killed in an auto accident than by a gun and that there are far more actual and real deaths per year involving automobiles than guns. Source 1. Source 2.

In fact, roughly averaging the numbers across the whole of the nation shows that you are twice as likely to be killed in an auto accident. Data shows that there are apparently a very large amount of gun owners whom are responsible, law abiding citizens whereas a large amount of automobile owners are mouth breathing idiots who can't stop eating, talking on the cell phone or turning around to scream at Junior long enough not to plow in to someone and kill them.

 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
22. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 25, 2014, 22:17 Burrito of Peace
 
jimnms wrote on Nov 25, 2014, 19:49:
I own guns, have a carry permit and carry when and where I can. When I get into a discussion with anti-gunners, they always assume people that carry guns want to shoot someone. I explain that I carry a gun for the same reason I have home owners insurance, car insurance and health insurance. I don't want to use it, but I have it in case I need it and just like insurance, I'd rather have it and never need to use it than not have it and wish I did.

Bingo and ditto.

One of the things I try to teach young and new shooters is that safety is a mindset, not a mechanism. The best weapon you can have sits right between your ears.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
11. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 25, 2014, 14:49 Burrito of Peace
 
xXBatmanXx wrote on Nov 25, 2014, 14:15:
The law states you must flee your own home. Unreal. No one has ever been charged, but it is on the books as basically saying if you can leave your home during an attack, you should.....

That is so fucked up, Bats. I'm glad I live in Texas. There's zero fucking snowball's chance in Hell that I am giving up my home, its contents, my pets and the people inside it to some crackhead invader because someone else thinks that would be a safer choice.

 
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News Comments > Elite: Dangerous Refunds Reconsidered
29. Re: Elite: Dangerous Refunds Reconsidered Nov 22, 2014, 11:20 Burrito of Peace
 
FD has certainly made me reconsider purchasing this game.  
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News Comments > etc., etc.
3. Re: etc., etc. Nov 22, 2014, 10:28 Burrito of Peace
 
Krovven wrote on Nov 22, 2014, 00:54:
...good lord, what will they ever do?


Cry in to the bolted on tits of their bleach blonde skank girlfriends/wives on a bed made from a pile of thousand dollar bills which itself is on their 750 foot private yacht floating off the Caymans?

Just a guess.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
14. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 20, 2014, 16:13 Burrito of Peace
 
Creston wrote on Nov 20, 2014, 15:55:
jdreyer wrote on Nov 20, 2014, 13:55:
My cases tend to rust out after a few years, especially the USB ports.

Try tightening the clamps on your water cooling

Or at least wiping down the front after some "alone time".
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
8. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 20, 2014, 13:34 Burrito of Peace
 
Cutter wrote on Nov 20, 2014, 13:16:
Does anyone here smoke sausage?


Uh...no, but a tranny might be able to help you with that.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
3. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 20, 2014, 12:06 Burrito of Peace
 
Vape it if you got it.  
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News Comments > Morning Safety Dance
1. USB Armory is the Swiss army knife of security devices. Nov 20, 2014, 10:06 Burrito of Peace
 
That is simply awesome. The ability to trust any device, anywhere on the planet, simply by using your own secure, encrypted USB key is long overdue. The only downside is if the system itself is locked down in BIOS or EFI to prevent boot to USB.  
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News Comments > Evening Mobilization
4. Re: Evening Mobilization Nov 20, 2014, 09:17 Burrito of Peace
 
Pigeon wrote on Nov 20, 2014, 08:49:
Beamer wrote on Nov 19, 2014, 22:24:
HorrorScope wrote on Nov 19, 2014, 22:10:
A large +1 to Apple for a change.

Makes sense. Those games are the devil.

You mean the Canadian Devil Beelzaboot Devil

Take off ya hoser, eh.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
21. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 19, 2014, 15:16 Burrito of Peace
 
SimplyMonk wrote on Nov 19, 2014, 14:53:
Burrito of Peace wrote on Nov 19, 2014, 14:01:
You don't buy a full sized truck, or by an extension, an SUV if you're worried about gas mileage or can't afford the gas.

Probably need to qualify that statement with "If you are smart..."

The spike in SUV/Truck sales since the gas price drop would indicate that high gas prices was the reason people were not buying SUVs/Trucks.

Or maybe not. It's not uncommon to find massive sales on vehicles during November and December. There's that old adage of correlation is not causation.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
18. Re: Out of the Blue Nov 19, 2014, 14:01 Burrito of Peace
 
Creston wrote on Nov 19, 2014, 13:11:
Sales of SUVs and trucks have soared since gas dipped below $3/G a month or so ago. Long term thinking is the not the American citizen's forte.

I own a truck and drive it daily to and from work on a 108 mile round trip commute. You don't buy a full sized truck, or by an extension, an SUV if you're worried about gas mileage or can't afford the gas.

This comment was edited on Nov 19, 2014, 14:10.
 
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News Comments > Starpoint Gemini 2 Patch Adds Missions
2. Re: Starpoint Gemini 2 Patch Adds Missions Nov 19, 2014, 09:40 Burrito of Peace
 
I'm trying to think of a game that has had as many patches in so short of a time and I'm coming up empty. Kudos to the developer for continuing to progress the state of the game but every time I open Steam, I know there's going to be an SG2 update queued for download.  
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News Comments > Far Cry 4 Piracy Perspective
47. Re: Far Cry 4 Piracy Perspective Nov 19, 2014, 09:13 Burrito of Peace
 
Beamer wrote on Nov 19, 2014, 00:55:

Silent Hunter 4 was an abomination. But it was 2007.

But Silent Hunter 4 was one thing 8 years ago. It isn't like every game since has kept doing it.

Every Silent Hunter game in the series since IV has been a total anal rape without lube since 2007. Silent Hunter V still isn't what any reasonable person would call "useable". The sad part is that due to the DRM that Ubisoft crippled it with, it never will be.

Lose your connection? Game crashes. Ubisoft's other games suck down a huge amount of bandwidth from Ubisoft's servers? Game crashes. Oh, you wanted to save your game but Ubisoft's servers don't respond in time? Game crashes, setting you back possibly hours of careful planning, deployment and sunk tonnage.

Ubi's games aren't that interesting to me anymore because of both their hostile actions as a company towards their customers and their yearly title churn. The last game I truly enjoyed from Ubi was Black Flag due to the piracy theme. If they released a game that was solely piratically based without the Assassin's Creed name attached, I'd buy the shit out of it. I think, however, that I am in the minority on that.
 
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News Comments > Ships Ahoy - Dragon Age: Inquisition
15. Re: Ships Ahoy - Dragon Age Inquisition Nov 18, 2014, 14:14 Burrito of Peace
 
This uses Denuvo, so no thanks. I don't care how good it looks. Steam/Origin is DRM enough. There's no goddamned need to decrypt, read/write in to memory and then re-encrypt on the fly. This a game, not a fucking NSA database.  
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1856 Comments. 93 pages. Viewing page 9.
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