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User information for Paul

Real Name Paul   
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Nickname Creston
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Homepage http://
Signed On Dec 23, 2002, 22:32
Total Comments 24505 (Jedi)
User ID 15604
 
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News Comments > Respawn on Titanfall on Origin vs. Steam
17. Re: Respawn on Titanfall on Origin vs. Steam Dec 20, 2014, 00:59 Creston
 
Everyone could have told you that from day one, but all you could see was OMG EA MONIES!!!

Hope you enjoy the dead game you built.
 
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News Comments > World Wide Funder Refutes STALKER Apocalypse Collusion
20. Re: World Wide Funder Refutes STALKER Apocalypse Collusion Dec 19, 2014, 16:31 Creston
 
siapnar wrote on Dec 19, 2014, 16:22:
Creston wrote on Dec 19, 2014, 14:02:
*extremely thorough satirical press release write-up*
Damn Creston, you ARE bored aren't you..

You have no idea...
 
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News Comments > World Wide Funder Refutes STALKER Apocalypse Collusion
11. Re: World Wide Funder Refutes STALKER Apocalypse Collusion Dec 19, 2014, 14:02 Creston
 
I was thinking, we really need something akin to "Honest Reviews." It could be called like "Honest Press Releases."

Ubisoft's press release for AC:Unity would read:

"AC:Unity is in a terribly unfinished state, but we're worried that if we allow the game media to say so (the few we can't buy off anyway), that most people won't buy it and will wait for it to both be fixed and be on sale for five bucks. So we're just putting an embargo on the whole review thing until after it's been released. Also, when we 'fix' it with future patches, we really mean that we're going to gimp it until it barely looks like the game we promised.

Yes, we know, we know, we should have just done that prematurely, like we did with Watchdogs. Lesson learned, okay?!"



This press release here could read as follows:

"We are the team behind Theft website WFUNDER. We're here to clear up some confusion. One of the blatant scams on our website, Stalker Apocalypse has stirred up a lot of controversy lately, as well as absolute thousands of spot-on accusations of it not being a game, but a blatant case of attempted fraud. We've had nobody try to hack out website, because 99% of our visitors visit exactly one page before, presumably, just exiting out with an immediate knowledge that we're nothing but a bunch of pathetically desperate thief-wannabes.

Some have said we are the same company. Well, the company West Games did not make our website. (We hired some jackass to do it for 30 rubles and a gallon of gas.) Other than that, yeah, we really are just the same people. Leonid Kovtun is a member of our company, and also the asshat that's been trying to steal money from as many people as he can for years now. This is simply his latest attempt to do so.

TheftFUNDER is a platform that gives people unique ways to steal money. Unlike most of these other websites, that force you to actually raise your entire goal before you get a dime, or the ones that allow you to raise just a part of it and still get the money, but that better curate whether you're an actual project versus a quick money-grab, we allow you to put any kind of bullshit up and get money for it! Really, we only did that because it really fucking sucked when we'd gotten like 20 grand in pledges on Kickstarter for our non-game Stalker Apocalypse, and then the bastards wouldn't give us that money. WE HAD EARNED THAT MONEY! WE HAD STOLEN IT FAIR AND SQUARE!

We also allow people from around the world to post projects on our website, and we take money from everywhere too. When your entire existence is built on blatantly obvious theft, why limit yourself to just the US and Europe, knowwutimsayin'?

We've implemented some bullshit features that have nothing to do with crowdsourcing in an attempt to make it appear as if we're legit. We call these features unique, even if they are anything but. Hey, you never know. Some illiterate housewife in darker Zambia might read it and think it's genuine! She could potentially donate a couple of bucks!

Many people have asked us to shut Stalker Apocalypse down. The simple answer is that we won't, because
A) It's our own scam
B) We put a lot of effort into this scam (it's hard work to take stock assets from Unity and make screenshots of them and pretend it's your own game, you know? Leonid spent like two hours horseshitting those 'screenshots' together!)
C) We haven't made a fucking dime off this scam yet, you assholes!

We've reached out to West Games, ie, ourselves, and we showed ourselves that we totally have the rights to use this name for this project. By which we mean that IF the guys from the real S.T.A.L.K.E.R thought for a second that we were actually in any danger of making this game, they would sue our asses off, and any judge would look at this case for roughly five seconds before declaring in their favor and ordering us to shut down.

We're not worried about that, though, because we have no intention of actually making a game. We just want money. So all of you who are worried about a non-official Stalker game being released, just relax! We're NEVER going to make this game. Once we get another 20K, we're gone, and we'll take our shitty website with us.

Discover projects, join discussions and create your own projects Click on the donate button now at www.wfunder.com. To make it easier for you to donate, we've included an option where you just mail us your credit card. We promise to only charge whatever level you want to fund at, and then we'll cut it up. Scout's honor."



(Yes, I'm bored.)
 
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News Comments > World Wide Funder Refutes STALKER Apocalypse Collusion
10. Re: World Wide Funder Refutes STALKER Apocalypse Collusion Dec 19, 2014, 12:49 Creston
 
It's an impressive amount of lies in such a short statement.  
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News Comments > Notch Buys $70M Beverly Hills Mansion
19. Re: Notch Buys $70M Beverly Hills Mansion Dec 19, 2014, 01:14 Creston
 
BobBob wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 21:03:
ViRGE wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 19:57:
I'm a bit surprised that Notch is moving out of Sweden though.

What part surprises you?

http://www.accuweather.com/en/se/stockholm/314929/december-weather/314929

http://www.accuweather.com/en/us/beverly-hills-ca/90210/december-weather/332045


How did I know who posted that without even looking at the name?
 
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News Comments > Notch Buys $70M Beverly Hills Mansion
18. Re: Notch Buys $70M Beverly Hills Mansion Dec 19, 2014, 01:12 Creston
 
Dang, son. LeBron is jealous.  
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News Comments > Morning Legal Briefs
6. Re: Morning Legal Briefs Dec 18, 2014, 17:27 Creston
 
TheEmissary wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 14:34:
The KillZone SF lawsuit isn't really going to go anywhere. I think there is a fundamental misunderstanding of what resolution actually means in this case.

I barely understood what the article said with regards to 'native', and I've been playing games for almost 40 years. The odds of some random judge somewhere being able to make an informed and logical decision about the issue seem really damn small.
 
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News Comments > Steam Holiday Sale Begins
24. Re: Steam Holiday Sale Begins Dec 18, 2014, 15:55 Creston
 
Desalus wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 15:49:
Between my PC and PS3, I'm up to 60+ games that I have yet to play at any length or I have yet to finish. Too many games and too little time. I made a vow to myself that I wouldn't buy anymore until I knock that list down by at least half.

I actually started a system where I can't buy a new game unless I finish 2 games off my "Still to play" list. Works out pretty well. Of course, I've just bought another new game, so I probably need to play 2 games again. Sigh
 
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News Comments > Steam Holiday Sale Begins
23. Re: Steam Holiday Sale Begins Dec 18, 2014, 15:53 Creston
 
Flatline wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 14:04:
I'm hoping for either a Far Cry 4 sale or a Dragon Age Inquisition sale.

I'd like to play either of them but money's tight due to the holidays.

DA:I isn't sold on Steam, so unless you mean on another distributor's sale list, you won't see it. (edit, multiple people already said that.)

FC4... It's possible, but won't go down much more than 10 bucks.

I picked up the Last Remnant for 5 bucks.
 
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News Comments > Steam Holiday Sale Begins
3. Re: Steam Holiday Sale Begins Dec 18, 2014, 13:56 Creston
 
We need Abed to go "Steam SAAAAAAAAAAAAALE"

 
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News Comments > Morning Safety Dance
5. Re: Morning Safety Dance Dec 18, 2014, 13:54 Creston
 
jdreyer wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 12:39:
Sony leaks reveal Hollywood is trying to break DNS, the backbone of the internet.

That would hardly stop any determined file sharer. They would just use the IP address directly. Or configure their PC to use a DNS that wasn't blocking the site.

Exactly. TheVerge is a bullshit website with bullshit writers who don't know jack shit about the internet. OMG SUCH A POWERFUL TOOL FOR THEM TO USE!

Anyone who knows about the actual pirate site in question also knows how to type in an IP address to still get to it. Attacking DNS wouldn't do jack shit except (with the inevitable fuckup that the MPAA and ISPs would cause) fuck everyone else over.
 
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News Comments > Dragon Age Inquisition Free & Paid DLC
17. Re: Dragon Age Inquisition Free & Paid DLC Dec 18, 2014, 13:16 Creston
 
Redmask wrote on Dec 17, 2014, 22:04:
You've got at least 20 more hours of finding shards and picking plants before the real fun begins. Leader of the inquisition, find more elfroot!

Or just, you know, BUY it?
 
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News Comments > Grand Theft Auto V PC Transfers Clarified; Specs Next Week
28. Re: Grand Theft Auto V PC Transfers Clarified; Specs Next Week Dec 18, 2014, 13:14 Creston
 
xXBatmanXx wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 12:08:
Reminder to everyone (although I tink everyone is in there) to join our BluesNews Crew.


Currently at 79 members.

How many of them play, though? Even back when it was just launched we rarely saw more than 5 or 6 online at a time. Though the few times we did get together for tank/race/whatever mayhem was pretty flipping awesome.

Doing an air race with everyone picking little Cesnas and me picking a Learjet was fantastic. The howls of derision that came my way quickly changed into howls of "HEY WTF???" when I just flew straight THROUGH everyone.
 
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News Comments > Grand Theft Auto V PC Transfers Clarified; Specs Next Week
27. Re: Grand Theft Auto V PC Transfers Clarified; Specs Next Week Dec 18, 2014, 13:12 Creston
 
nin wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 07:49:
Theo wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 07:37:
Beelzebud wrote on Dec 18, 2014, 01:20:
Please let this be properly optimized.

Yher. not that they have made a single PC port that wasnt garbage performance wise. :-(


Thought people said the last Max Payne was decent?


Max Payne 3 was great PC port wise. Absolutely no issues that weren't endemic to the game itself (and thus existed across all platforms.)

It's the same guys doing the GTA5 port, so fingers crossed.
 
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News Comments > Dying Light Interactive Trailer
11. Re: Dying Light Interactive Trailer Dec 18, 2014, 13:09 Creston
 
xXBatmanXx wrote on Dec 17, 2014, 19:10:
one could argue they ripped off Dead Island and added some fluff

It's the same guys that made Dead Island. How are they ripping off their own game?
 
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News Comments > Dying Light Interactive Trailer
1. Re: Dying Light Interactive Trailer Dec 17, 2014, 18:47 Creston
 
that was actually pretty cool.  
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News Comments > Kerbal Space Program Enters Beta
11. Re: Kerbal Space Program Enters Beta Dec 17, 2014, 13:55 Creston
 
Bundy wrote on Dec 16, 2014, 14:05:
First time you manage to land on the minmus (smaller moon), and successfully get your crew back to kerbal is a great feeling. You actually feel like you just accomplished something historic.

My last achievement in Kerbal was to (admittedly deliberately) strand three Kerbals on the mun, then I sent a rescue mission to go get them, and it succeeded. It was pretty damn awesome.
 
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News Comments > Out of the Blue
9. Spicy Food article Dec 17, 2014, 13:42 Creston
 
Itís easy to see why people avoid spicy foods. Theyíre uncomfortable, even painful to eat. Why would someone put themselves through such a thing? Food is meant to be enjoyed; the flavors should be savored on our tongues. You canít do that with spicy food unless you purposely want to harm the inside of your mouth.

This is so much horseshit, I don't even know where to begin.

- I'd guess 99% of all people have never eaten properly spicy food. And I'm not referring to extremely hot stuff as if that somehow lends validity to it, I mean actual spicy food that is made with actual spices rather than the common "spicy" shit like (for example) Louisiana Hot Sauce that has zero spice in it, and is instead just a bottle of liquid SALT. Most of the cheap, shitty hot stuff is just salt and a little bit of capsaicin to hurt your taste buds. It's a similar complaint to people saying that all pizza tastes like shit when they've never eaten anything except Little Caesar's. Or that all burgers are terrible if they only ever go McDonalds.

- Even if you use proper things to spice your food up with, you do obviously have to take it easy at first. If all you're used to is black pepper, don't be a hero and pop a fresh jalapeno in your mouth, because all you're going to feel is pain. However, once you are used to it, hot peppers and other properly spicy stuff have an incredible amount of flavor to them.

I've recently upgraded from putting Jalapenos in and on stuff to Habaneros, and the taste is delicious. Habaneros are far better tasting than Jalapenos; the heat is sweeter and has a smokier aroma to it, and it's a fuller taste than Jalapenos (which are, to be honest, really kind of bland tasting.) It's kind of the same with bell peppers, too. The red ones taste far better than the green ones.

I've actually tried a Ghost Pepper sauce (a buddy of mine eats it often on pizza, and I asked to try a slice), and while I readily admit that it was brutally hot to the point where I had to ask the waitress for multiple glasses of milk, the flavor was incredible. I was expecting it to just be pain, and instead there was a shitload of actual flavor to accompany the heat.

tl;dr There is nothing wrong with spicy food, and it doesn't just get eaten because "HURRR IT MAKES YOU LOOK TOUGH DURRRR!" Once you are used to it, and eat actual spicy food from actual spicy peppers, rather than the cheap "Salt and capsaicin" shit, the flavors are delicious and really add tremendously to a meal. I can't imagine eating grilled chicken without some delicious habanero sauce anymore.
 
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News Comments > Valve Apologizes as Hatred Greenlight Campaign Returns
64. Re: Valve Apologizes as Hatred Greenlight Campaign Returns Dec 17, 2014, 13:15 Creston
 
Prez wrote on Dec 17, 2014, 12:27:
Quality shouldn't matter. If it is a game and you believe that games deserve protections equal to books or movies then that should be the end of it. To those attacking gaming Doom didn't add anything to society in general, so it ought not exist. They will focus on the violence and only the violence. No game could justify its existence in the eyes of critics of gaming violence. They don't concern themselves with such nuance as context and the like. There are a lot of asshiole developers; the point is that they are part of gaming ust like everyone else.

I agree with your point, but it's a very Utopian ideal. The reality of our current society is that large groups of people, including our shit-for-brains 'representatives' are looking for anything to nail gaming-as-a-whole to a crucifix with.

I don't agree with that mentality, but it is sadly a fact. And while I gladly defend my favorite hobby over a game like GTA, which has a lot of other things to it other than just the senseless violence, I'd be a lot harder pressed to make a decent defense of a game like this.

And sure, if someone says "Gaming is retarded. Look at this game. This is what we need as a society?" you can pull the "Hey, idiots are free to make whatever they want" card and drop the mike, but it doesn't really feel as if you really won that argument, does it?


Again, I have no problem with them making it. No actual living beings are harmed in this game, and it deserves First Amendment protection. But I actually do wish they wouldn't make it. Or at least that they weren't so fucking effectively "LOOK AT EVERYONE TRYING TO REPRESS OUR GAME!" embracing the negative publicity surrounding it.


 
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