My girlfriend lost her mother a few years ago to a brain tumor and while comforting her on the anniversary of the death, it hit me recently that I have no clue how I will handle it when my mother dies. I've never bothered to emotionally prepare for the loss of my parents, this is perhaps a very foolish mentality that I need to get over so it doesn't hit me so hard later. My girlfriend was a total fucking mess for the better part of a year and she at least was able to say goodbye and get some closure.
I actually get a little upset with my parents because they're overweight, don't exercise and don't seem to care about improving their quality of life. My dad has had cancer twice now and basically shouldn't be alive yet he's back to the old habits that got him there in the first place. I've tried giving them the grand children guilt speech but they just like shitty food way too much and who am I to dictate their lifestyle to them.
Anyways as always condolences Blue, I can't relate in any meaningful way yet but I can certainly sympathize.