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8. Re: Saints Row IV Sells 1M in One Week Aug 29, 2013, 12:36 Flatline
 
News Flash! People like having fun in sandbox games instead of hauling around virtual friends to virtual social activities and sitting around waiting for them to be virtually satisfied every 20 minutes of gameplay.

"NIIIICO IZZZ YOUR COUZAIN! LEEEETS SEE SOME TITTIES!"

Rockstar announced earlier today that they intend to counter Saints Row 4 with a new, as-yet-unannounced combination of features including a realistic blackhead squeezing minigame and procedural generation techniques that allows your virtual girlfriend in GTA 5 to criticize everything about you down to your activities in the game, in real time, over a cell phone connection that accesses your actual phone via bluetooth to call you at the most inopportune times of the game to complain that you don't pay her enough attention and how you're sexually inadequate in the bedroom minigame.

"This is unprecedented levels of fun" announced Rockstar. "We've on average tripled the amount of crying and emasculation during a session of the game, without having to result to peripherals like electric shock trodes attached to sensitive areas of the body!"
 
 
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