1) Polish and scope the product. Be original somehow, and sell that originality in your product itself. As someone who really enjoys the genre their game was in, the video was boring and didn't make me care enough to even download the demo.
2) Speaking of the video, wtf was that? Who the heck are you guys and why should I give you money? Floating text on top of the current demo's very incomplete implementation is just not exciting. Some of the text didn't even really make sense. You need to get in front of the camera and sell me on your concept, what is the game going to be like AFTER the 5k you raise. If the demo is good enough to sell itself, you don't need a kickstarter. And if it's not good enough to sell itself, you have to actually do some WORK to sell it.
3) Targeting. You guys posted to 68 forums and sent messages to a bunch of unknown youtubers? You have to be strategic about it. Who is likely to give you the coverage you need. Otherwise you just sound annoying.
Of course all of this is basically moot if you don't have a strong concept to begin with.