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11. Re: Postal III in December? Oct 22, 2011, 03:24 Rigs
I swear Vince Desi must be selling coke out of the Running With Scissors offices or something. I don't know how a company that's released two critical and sales bombs--the last of which came out 8 years ago--can survive long enough to finally finish this,

One of the wonders of nature I suppose. Devs that actually have something worth spending time and money on get no love and end up in the shithouse but devs that seemingly goof off for years keep going and going without ever releasing anything tangible (ie 3D Realms) or total inane crap (ie Postal and RWS). I actually hadn't played but the demo of Postal2 until about three weeks ago when a friend who honestly does more goofing off, chasing ass and getting drunk than any one person should be legally allowed to, gave me his prized Postal collection because his latest 'conquest' cut him off (no nookie) unless he got rid of his 'silly kid shit'. Yeah, one of those types. Real bitch if you ask me but she seems to hold some mystical spell over him (or maybe just his dick, who's to say, really? I sure don't fuckin' ask)...

So, anyway, he had all the little Postal expansions and even the first one that came in a collection...the 'Fudge Pack' I think it's called (of all things, not that I'm surprised). I installed it just to see what the rest of the game was like as the demo hadn't left me with anything anywhere worth wanting to go on with. An hour later I was ready to burn the whole thing in a front yard ritual to ask for forgiveness from the Gods who had forsaken me. Geezus was it bad! Then again, anyone that's played it would know already. Just on technical merits alone. What was it, the Quake2 engine? Quake 1? The original Unreal-engine? My god...the horror.

How anyone could get any kind of enjoyment out of that crap is beyond me, seriously. I'm all for violence for the sake of violence, at least in games (because it's a fuckin' game and I'm smart enough to know the fuckin' difference, thank you Mr. Thompson!) but it's not the violence aspect that bothered me. Well, ok, I think the whole peeing thing is just juvenile in the extreme. And a cat silencer? This is the kind of crap that the tween boys smuggle into school to share with their friends because they're parents won't buy it for them. You know the type, the ones that think they're bad-ass because they read motocross magazines and go to skateboard parks on the weekends and swear any chance they get. The ones that find cute little furry animals and then bury them up to their furry heads and grab the lawn mower. Yeah, them. No, what bothered me was that, as a game, it's a joke and not in a good way. I've seen mods of other games with better production values. The load times on my machine for in-level loads are unacceptable. The canned animations are stiff and clunky. Half Life 2 this ain't. I find it funny that they're using the source engine on the third one. Always behind the times, this one will be no different. But then again, maybe it doesn't even matter. They've apparently stumbled upon the secret to success that even 3D Realms couldn't figure out. And by success I mean staying alive. Not actually putting out a quality product that everyone wants.

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'Now, we gave you a promise and we are bound by that promise and damn you for asking for it! And damn me for agreeing to it! And damn all of us to Hell because that is exactly where we're going!'
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