I should have made myself clearer, sorry for that. No need to be upset. I wasn't referring to whether or not obesity is bad.
I was referring to your anecdotal evidence regarding your smoking relative who lived until old age, and the other relative who led a healthy life and still died young. Your conclusion seemed to be that lifestyle does not matter greatly in regard to longevity, and randomness dictates who dies and who doesn't.
Which can seem true on an individual basis, but is most definitely untrue when you look at the statistics over the population as a whole. Not smoking raises your average life expectancy and overall health expectancy significantly. Not being obese too. Which you actually are saying too, funnily enough.
Or, short version: Anecdotal evidence is not evidence.