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40. Re: Old School LucasArts Announcement Monday Jul 4, 2009, 19:36 CJ_Parker
OK. That's it. Cut.

To all of you fine folks who believe that this might have something to do with the X-Wing series, I have an announcement to make. You are idiots. Yes. Idiots. And I don't mean your regular type of idiot but really huge motherfucking morons, y'know?

So with the pleasantries out of the way, let's get serious for a minute.
Exactly how likely do you think it is for a company that for the last decade has been at the forefront of kiddie games, family friendliness and appealing to the mainstream to publish a space sim when the genre hmmm... well, well, well, let's just say is not really exactly alive, let alone kicking? Right. Veeeeery likely. NOT.

Secondly, OK, sure, let's kick some shrooms, some booze, and hit the pipe, too, and then let us imagine they actually did an X-Wing, well, what the fuck do you think would the game turn out to be like? Weeelll? THX, baby. The audience is listening...
Yeah, right. You think it would be a sim with a realistic flight model, manageable shields, engines, energy, foldable wings and all that good old school stuff, right? Wrrrroooonnng.
Aw man. Shit. We forgot to sober up after that shroom, booze and crack trip, didn't we?

So let's sober up, get real and face the depressing facts. I hope we all do realize that a modern cross-platform X-Wing would be dumbed down so bad that anyone who is a fan of the old games would insta-suicide. Come on.
You really think they would even have as much as a Y-axis in the game? Fucking forget about it! It could ooohhh... make people motion sick and hey we can't have that since we are in gay ass LucasArts family friendly let's hold each other by the penis land.

In summary you should hope and pray that this is in fact NOT an X-Wing announcement (as we explored above the chances are minimal at best anyway). Unless, of course, you are a masochist who is totally into seeing their childhood (or young adult) memories get fucked in the ass. Then LucasArts may be just the gig for you. I'd buy lube in preparation for Monday though. This could end up rough.

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